March 12, 2005
"So, what was it you were going to show me?" Corey Strickland asked.
"Oh, that has to wait until afterward," Ashley told him, patting his thigh.
"Does it have something to do with why your... um... chest seeming larger today?"
"Maybe," the brunette eighteen-year-old grinned. "A girl has to keep her secrets... until it's time to show them."
"Oh. Sure," her boyfriend said, but Ashley was not convinced he believed her.
"It's nothing bad." She did not like silence between them, so she decided to give in a little. "Just a new bra."
"You don't need it," Corey grumbled.
"I kinda do need bras. Well, maybe not need, but really, really prefer having..."
"Not a bra. That bra. One that's... like that."
"Like what?"
"You know."
"Makes my tits look bigger? Who are you to say what I need, Corey? Maybe I like the way I fill out my clothes with this. Maybe I just want to see what it's like to have larger boobs. Maybe..."
"This is because that asshole Darren said you needed a boob job."
Ashley sat back in her seat, arms crossed over the topic of conversation. She did not want to talk about Darren Connors or anything he did or said on their 'date'. He had been by far the worst client she had dealt with since deciding to take money to relieve select male classmates of their virginity. Corey had been the first, but that developed into something more. The rest were mainly nerdy type guys, awkward or shy or just distant, but none mean. Except Darren.
"You don't. Your tits are perfect."
"I don't need you telling me what my body is," Ashley snapped, regretting both her words and her tone.
"You're right," Corey nodded. "It's not my position to tell you what to think about your body or what to do with it. But I can't quit caring, and I can't sit by and say nothing when I think you are making a mistake."
"Let me off here," she said, hand gripping the door handle. "I'll walk the rest of the way."
"I can't not say anything because I think you're beautiful the way you are?"
"Don't give me that bullshit, Corey. This is about me fucking Ken Davidson last night. About me trying to get older clients. About me becoming someone you don't want to be with."
"Thinking you're beautiful is not bullshit and you know it," the young man said, anger hovering at the edge of his voice. "But I am worried about you. You don't have to do all this."
"Not again, please."
"It's few blocks more. Do you want me to stop?" Corey asked. She had wanted him to change the subject, so why did it make her even more angry that he did what she asked?
"No."
"Fine."
They spent the next several minutes in silence, and Ashely suspected that her boyfriend found himself as lost in his thoughts as she was in hers. She did not want to fight with him. But it seemed fighting and sex, either in person or over the phone the night before, dominated much of their time together lately. That had not been the case on Valentine's Day, and the memory of the evening they had spent together helped erode her irritation with Corey.
"I'm sorry," she said as they pulled up to an older one-story house.
"Me too, Ashy," her replied, and the love in his blue eyes almost made her decide to forget her scheduled 'date' and go someplace with him. "We probably should talk about..."
"Everything," Ashley finished for her boyfriend. "And not when you're taking me to... well, you know."
"Yeah."
"I love you," she said, leaning in to kiss his soft lips.
"Love you to," he said before she exited the car.
Ashley resisted the urge to look back at Corey as she walked up the driveway toward the house. The lawn, green and well cared for, contrasted with the brown house with its slightly darker brown door. And to Ashley, who had spent much of her life hating the color of her eyes and hair, brown was boring. Corey did not think so, but he had blonde hair and blue eyes. What did he know about having to watch as everyone fawned all over people with his coloring?
It's not his fault,
she told herself. And she accepted the truth of that. But accepting it did nothing to allow her to feel better about herself.
She knocked on the dark brown door. When she started her ventures into prostituting herself, she would have been nervous at this point. She might have even needed to calm her breathing or make herself relax. But not anymore. Plus, it was only Simon Lancaster, a shy, soft, pudgy boy who seemed scared of everything, including girls. Her main concern about the 'date' was a fear that she would be sore from the sex the night before with Ken Davidson. But after a restive sleep, she felt ready to go.
The door opened to reveal Simon, who stood in the doorway, mouth ajar, his eyes roving over every inch of Ashley. For several seconds she waited for the inevitable, "Your Ashley Saunders" or something to that effect, but it did not come.
"May I come in, Simon?" she asked in a soft, sweet voice after several seconds of awkward silence. but the young man just blinked, and Ashely's smile faltered. This was going to be a lot of work, she realized.
"Simon..."
"Uh, okay," he muttered, eyes cast down, hands in pockets as he shuffled to the side, leaving just enough room for Ashley to squeeze by him.
"Nice house," she said, amazed by the cat figurines and pictures everywhere. The faint aroma of a cat box reached her nose, and she scanned the entry way and living room for the furry little creature or creatures she knew must be somewhere.
"My mom likes cats." Blurted the young man, eyes cast down and cheeks red.
"Cats are cool," she told him, running her fingers up his arm. The young man widened eyes met hers for an instant as he stepped back out of her reach.
"My mom got a lot of them when my dad left," Simon told her after several seconds of silence, his gaze again locked on the floor between them. "They're okay."