An Overnight Hike in the Hills
Joanie plans out her first time with Brian. She didn't plan for Zack.
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The author expresses deep gratitude to his editor Ken. Ken has that amazing ability to suggest changing a phrase or even only a word, and it makes the story read better. I suspect it's what every author wants from an editor ... but rarely gets. Thank you, Ken!
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Brian is my boyfriend, and he wants to be my lover. It's natural, I suppose. We've been making out a lot, usually in the backseat of his mother's Camry. I've been letting him get me naked, and he fingers me a bit, but that's as far as I've let him go, and no, I never suck him off. That's gross.
I do other things, though. He pestered me nonstop, and he eventually beat me down. I caved, and I let him take some sexy pictures of me topless. His favorite one was the picture of me topless, sucking two fingers as if they were his erect cock, and with a "come fuck me" look in my eyes, as Brian so romantically put it. We had never fucked when the picture was taken, but I knew how to give "the look" nevertheless. All of us girls do. Brian had to swear on a stack of Bibles that nobody but him would ever see those pictures.
Everyone says Brian and I are the perfect couple. Even our last names jibe: I'm Joanie Branford, and he's Brian Stamford. Maybe someday far in the future I'll be Joanie Branford Stamford?
For my 18th birthday I secretly gave myself a present and went on birth control pills. I have a pediatrician whom I've grown up with, so she knows me and understands the needs of an 18-year-old woman. My parents don't know. Not even Brian knows. Nobody knows, unless my nosey brother Bob has figured it out. Bob is a real pest, but I think I've successfully hidden it even from him.
Brian and I plan to go on a "birthday hike" this weekend, and boy-oh- boy-oh-boy is he in for a surprise! Only one guy can ever take my virginity, and I've decided it's going to be Brian. Brian will be thrilled.
Actually, I'm plenty nervous myself. I mean, I have a nice body. My boobs could be bigger, but my nipples are huge, and that helps. I'm only five foot three, but on the other hand I'm only 110 pounds, so I'm a bit on the thin side. But that's popular these days. Most guys think I have nice legs.
The weather forecast is perfect. We're going to camp overnight (hee, hee) in Brian's new tent. We have hot dogs to cook, and Brian's bringing a bottle of vodka. I have some edibles, so I think we're all set!
I'm truly looking forward to my birthday hike. I cashed in some credits with Mom and Dad to take this hike. I swore on a stack of Bibles to behave myself. It's a bit ironic because I'm not religious at all.
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Brian, the idiot, invited Zack and Mary to join us on the hike. Maybe I should have told him about my sexy plans for us, but frankly, in my opinion, he should have jumped at the chance to spend the night with me, just the two of us, all alone and far from anyone who could stumble upon us! How the fuck am I going to seduce Brian with Zack and Mary hovering about?
The killer is that Brian never asked me if we should invite Zack and Mary to come with us. He just invited them all on his own. He behaves like a petty, little dictator. I hate that aspect of his personality. That said, I kind of like Zack and Mary, especially Zack.
Mary can be -- at times -- a bit of a bitch, but she can also be a good friend when you need one. Zack is a hunky, nice guy with a sweet personality. I think Zack kind of likes me, but he'll never put the moves on me because I'm Brian's girl and he's Brian's best friend. So Zack is okay in my book, and I get along with Mary, at least superficially. Mostly I'm annoyed because I wasn't consulted.
We arrived at the campground in Brian's mother's Camry, and Zack was already there, waiting for us. Where's Mary? we both asked, and Zack gave us the bad news. He and Mary had had one fight too many, and they were no longer a couple. Their last fight was a doozy. We're talking major dooze, apparently. Words were used. Pottery was thrown. Screaming occurred.
The upshot? Zack alone was going camping with us. Zack had given Mary permission to go to Hell. It was all because Mary had disappeared for a while at a party. The amazingly handsome Tony Bannister had disappeared at more or less the same time. I alone knew that Mary had a secret little crush on Tony. When Mary resurfaced at the party Zack had smelled Listerine on Mary's breath. Tony could not stop smiling, and his friends were backslapping him.
Zack was the closest thing our high school had to a rocket scientist, and he could certainly add two plus two. I found out later there was more to the story. It wasn't just Mary secretly canoodling with Tony at a party. Zack had also screwed up. Big time.
With Zack on our hike but without Mary there was no chance for sex. I needed someone to distract Zack long enough for me to get it on with Brian. Shit, shit, shit! I had been so looking forward to losing my virginity. I had planned out everything, every little step, all so carefully. I suppose there'd be plenty of other chances in the near future. The thing is, I had everything for the hike all planned out to be totally romantic, and now it was going to be just a hike with two guys, one of them seriously depressed. Talk about a downer.
It looked instead like My Great Deflowering was going to be postponed at least to next weekend and in the back seat of a Camry. Not super romantic. At least Zack's father lets him use the Range Rover. Brian's dad won't yet let him use his brand-new Defender 90.
Mary had told me she first gave it up to Zack in the Range Rover's back seat. I also knew -- but it was top secret -- that Zack had not been her first. Nor even her second. Possibly Zack was not even Mary's third guy.
Mary was awesome. A Range Rover simply had to be (much) more comfortable than a Camry. I was so, so, so envious of Mary. I wished I could be as relaxed about sex as she was.
Zack was morose. I guess he had truly loved Mary, even if it was hard for me to imagine anyone really and truly loving Mary. I guess I'm just too jealous of Mary. No doubt however he had surely liked having a pretty and sexy source of regular sex, and now that was gone. Done and finished. Poor guy. I decided not to blame the victim and focus my anger at my high-handed boyfriend Brian. I could be nice to Zack and reassure him during the hike. I could be a good sort of person and help a wounded teenage boy to heal.
I knew that Zack had always lusted for me. He had taken me aside, when we were both 16, and kissed me during Marsha's party. He had felt up my ass and my boobs while we kissed. I had been charmed and hoped for more, but by the next party Mary had put Zack on a leash, and he was now her puppy dog and hers alone. Back then, I wondered how Mary had done that, 'cause I had been fairly sure Zack had eyes only for me.
Looking back, however, it's perhaps not obvious but easy to make a guess. I turned my gaze to Brian. Unlike Zack, Brian was shy, but the prospect of sex with an attractive girl is a powerful weapon to be used on a teenage boy. Brian became mine, all mine. Brian belonged to me.
Brian was a catch, too: He was funny, an athlete (track and field), a musician (trumpet), and he was in the honors bubble. He got straight A's except for history. He also respected me when I said "No." Recently he had been forced to give me a hell of a lot of respect, hee, hee.
It was a downer to have a guy moping around on my birthday hike, putting a depressive spin on what was supposed to be the high point of my teenage years. I decided to channel my frustration into cheering up Zack even if I was not sure how I could go about it, short of giving him a blowjob which I would never, ever do.
I took Brian aside, and as I was about to suggest we try to cheer up Zack, Brian beat me to the punch.
"Joanie, my sweet, I know you're disappointed to have Zack being a third wheel on your birthday hike, but let's try to cheer him up anyway, okay? We'll be doing a good turn."
That charmed me. I was reminded why I loved Brian. He really cared for his best friend. We got all our gear together and began the hike. We were walking three abreast, and Brian was telling joke after joke. Zack and I were laughing constantly. Everyone's mood was good.
I had arranged for the straps from my backpack to fall in such a way as to emphasize my boobs. A girl does what she can to increase her sex appeal. Brian didn't need any help with my sex appeal, but maybe Zack did? Also, I wore my thinnest bra. You could see my nipples pushing out of my tight-fitting T-shirt. Anyway, I felt I looked hot. I was ready to tease Brian to the point of insanity. I felt he deserved it as punishment for ruining my Great Deflowering Birthday Hike.
Zack especially liked the tale Brian told about Tony taking Miss Connors behind the band building. Nobody knew what had happened between Tony and Miss Connors, but Brian swore he had seen red welts on Tony's left cheek. Miss Connors had her wrist looked after by the school nurse, and the sewing teacher, Mrs. Zweig, had reattached some buttons on Miss Connors' blouse; more importantly, she had repaired Miss Connors' bra. Tony got a three-day suspension.
