I don't think she believed me when I said I was happy for her, that I was glad she was finally enjoying sex, and I hoped she would tell me all about it. She had, after all just told me she was having an affair. "You don't care that I am having an affair with a man I work with?" she asked, unconvinced that I was really okay with it. I wasn't sure how to tell her it was what I had hoped for, fantasized about, and was thankful it had finally arrived.
"I care that you love me, and I hope you still do," I said. "I care about your sexual satisfaction. If I can't give it to you, I care that someone can," I said. "I love you, Claire. You don't have to earn that. I would rather I be the one to send you to sexual heaven, but if I don't I am sincerely glad someone does. Do you love me, Claire?"
She said she did, that her romance was simply a fling, merely sex. I asked her if it was good, if she enjoyed the sex she had with him. "Yes," she replied with candor that encouraged me and was thankful for.
"I am glad," I said, meaning every word. "I have told you I wanted you to like sex, and I do. I really do," I said again. "Sex is not the most important thing in a marriage, right. Liking each other is important, true? I do really like you, Claire. Tell me about this guy you are involved with. Is he married?"
"Yes," she replied quietly, obviously bothered that she was an 'other woman' to a another wife and mother. She has always been very critical of women who had affairs with married men. Now she was one herself.
"Tell me about it," I said. "How did it start? Was it at work?" I asked.
"I can't believe we are talking about this like it is a fishing trip with a buddy," she said. I didn't answer, just shrugged and smiled. "He asked me to lunch. At first it was just talking. Then it moved to his friend's apartment, just to talk. It was exciting and I let myself enjoy the thrill of it," she said. "I let him kiss me, then I let him do more, then I told him what I wanted and he gave it to me. "
"And you liked it?" I asked. She nodded without answering. "And then you kept going back? You liked the depravity of it, right? Someone was desiring you and it was seductive?" She nodded and smiled, an embarrassed and self-conscious smile.
"It got so I could think of nothing else," she admitted. "I even," she paused. "I even masturbated at night to thoughts of him."
"I have tried to get you to masturbate for years. This is a success story," I said. "I am so happy for you. I am also happy for me."
"You must be crazy. Your wife is having an affair and you are celebrating it. You're supposed to be calling me names and threatening to divorce me."
"Do you want a divorce?" I asked. She shook her head and began to cry. I took her into my arms and held her. "Neither do I," I said. "Do you want to run off with him?" She said she didn't and I continued to hold her. "Having sex with someone, having sexual desire for another man is not a crime," I said. "Tell me about it," I asked. "Any kinky things in your repertoire? Does he just do missionary, or is there cowgirl in your routine?"
She laughed as she cried and admitted to liking "cowgirl."
She apologized for not doing that with me. "Novelty is seductive," I said. "Because we never did it would make it even more exciting, right?" She laughed, wiping her eyes with her sleeve.
"Yes," she conceded with a tearful chuckle. "I do love you," she said. "I should have known you would not get crazy about it. I just got sexually carried away by the excitement of it all. Someone was interested in me. Someone wanted to fuck me," she said using a word I had never heard her utter.
"I would like to meet him," I said. "Thank him for keeping my wife happy." Again she laughed. "He did improve your disposition lately," I said. "You have been in a really good mood these last few months. That is worth a lot," I said. "A happy wife, and all that," I said with a chuckle. "He did put a smile on your face. Asked him over for dinner," I said. "I want to meet him. To thank him." She kissed me and we hugged.