As I approached the discreet black doorâthree small steps above the pavementâmy heart raced with anticipation. A single buzzer awaited my touch, and for a moment, I paused, surveying the quiet, well-heeled street that stretched out before me.
Elegant Victorian houses stood proud, their facades painted in muted tones, no doubt the interiors elegantly decorated in chic Farrow & Ball shadesâElephantâs Breath, Lamp Room Yellowânames as luxurious as the lives lived inside. Mercedes, BMWs, and Audis lined the pavement, glittering beneath the streetlights. This was a place for the âcomfortably off,â where wealth hummed softly under the surface.
I didnât belong here, not really. Six months into my first year at university, I was already floundering. Not academicallyâmy mind had always been sharp, and I thrived on the challenge of my course, soaking up every moment of my newfound freedom. But financially? I was sinking fast. Iâd grown up knowing what it meant to go without, in a cramped rented house where my mum worked tirelessly, yet still struggled to keep the cupboards stocked and the bills paid. University had been my escape, my way to carve out a different life. But even with a full loan, the costs had piled upâtuition, books, the steep rent for my student flat. I worked at a local pub, pulling pints until my feet ached, yet I still barely scraped by.
I was fortunate in some ways. My friendsâkind, generousânever let me go without a drink in hand, happily covering my tab when my bank balance hit rock bottom. But pride is a stubborn thing, and I hated the feeling of always being indebted, of never being the one to stand at the bar and say, âThis roundâs on me.â
And so here I was, fingers brushing against the cool metal of the buzzer, standing on the doorstep of this unremarkable house in well-to-do Hove. I was about to step into a world I barely understood, a world where money, power, and desire entwined in ways Iâd only imagined.
I pressed the buzzer. The response was immediate, a womanâs voice slipping through the intercom, soft yet firm, authoritative with just the slightest edge of curiosity.
âHello,â she said, her tone sending a shiver down my spine. âCan I help you?â
_
I took a deep breath, feeling the weight of the moment settle over me. This was itâthe threshold between two worlds. On one side, the well-heeled respectability of this quiet street, its elegant houses gleaming with success, even if they felt worlds apart from my reality. On the other side, behind this nondescript door, lay a world I was about to step intoâa world that felt dangerous, exciting, and completely unfamiliar.
But let me explain how I ended up here. Working at the bar had been my life just a few weeks ago. I liked the job well enough, but it wasnât enough to keep me afloat. Even with five shifts a week, I was barely scraping by. Balancing work and university was hard enough, and I knew it would only get worse as the year went on. I needed more.
So when I heard that two of the girls from the bar had left for jobs at a strip club, claiming they were earning double the money for half the work, it caught my attention.
One of the girls, Kelly, had become a friend, so I asked her if she could help me out, maybe get me an interview. A few days later, I found myself sitting across from the club manager, a slim, forgettable man with a Turkish accent. He offered me three nights a week at more than double my current payâand I wouldnât even be stripping. My job was to work behind the bar and âwork the floor,â flirting and chatting up the men, coaxing them into spending more money on dances from the girls.
At first, it seemed like an easy gig. But after just three weeks, I was desperate to leave. The job itself wasnât physically demanding, but the emotional toll was something else. The strip club felt like a pressure cooker of miseryâboth from the men and the girls. The guys were usually drunk, sad, and desperate for attention. The dancers, almost without exception, hated every second of it, their disdain for the men only thinly veiled by forced smiles and sultry glances. And nearly every night, I found myself having to fend off a guy who didnât understand the meaning of the word âno.â
As for the two girls who had left the bar to work here, one had already gone back to her old job. The other was just as miserable as I was.
-
It wasnât that I was a prudeâfar from it. I had no moral objection to strip clubs; in fact, before I ever set foot in one as an employee, the idea actually turned me on. When I applied for the job, Iâd secretly entertained fantasies about becoming a dancer, imagining the rush of performing, the seductive power of swaying my hips under the lights, feeling the heat of all those hungry eyes on me. I even pictured myself in a skimpy black bikini, letting their gazes undress me, one tantalizing layer at a time.
I remember one night, after Iâd gotten the call saying I was hired and would be starting that weekend, I spent hours in bed, fingers trailing over my body, losing myself in that fantasyâteasing the men, leaving them desperate, and reveling in the control Iâd have over their desires. It was erotic, intoxicating even. Or at least, the idea was.
The reality? That was a different story. The strip club wasnât glamorous or sexy. The heat, the desire, the thrill Iâd imaginedânone of it existed in that dingy place. Instead of power, I found indifference. Instead of sensuality, I found sadness. The money wasnât even that good. It was all a disappointment.
But then, one night, everything shifted.
I overheard three of the regular dancers talking, their voices low but tinged with excitement. They werenât just chatting about another night at the clubâthey were discussing something much more intriguing. They were talking about their âother job.â As I eavesdropped, it became clear: they were being paid to do more than just tease men. These women were escorts, and they werenât just stripping for tips; they were being paid to fuck.
And the way they talked about itâwell, it wasnât just the money that had them excited. They seemed to genuinely enjoy it.
If you know anything about me by now, youâll understand that the idea of getting paid for dirty, delicious sex definitely piqued my interest. More money than Iâd ever made, all while doing something I already loved? My pulse quickened at the thought.
With a mix of curiosity and boldness, I decided to join the conversation.