I like trains. Especially interstate trains. If I have to go interstate I'm just as likely to take an overnight train as I am to fly. More likely, actually. Trains go from point A to point B. If there's bad weather the train still goes to point B while the plane flaps its wings and heads for point C which is not a place I want to go to. Is there a problem up ahead? The train may stop for a while but the plane starts going in circles like a homing pigeon that's lost its home. So I travel by train.
I was doing an over-night train journey and it was still fairly early in the trip when there was an announcement. Some idiot tried to race a train to a level crossing. It was a tie, with both getting there at the same time. The train didn't stop and the car stopped in about a hundred different places. There would be a slight delay while the debris was swept off the tracks.
I decided to take a stroll along the train to the diner. Leaving my cubicle I ambled down the corridor only to be confronted by a young lady marching determinedly towards me. Well, maybe she wasn't that young. In her fifties and a face that looked as though she'd fallen on it with all her weight behind it. And she had a lot of weight. It jiggled and pooled around her. She was so chubby that she almost filled the corridor and she didn't look as though she was going to give way to anything smaller than a tank, and the tank would have had my sympathy.
I leaned hard up against the door to a cubicle, trying to maximise the room available to the woman and she oozed past me without a word. Not that that prevented me hearing some very interesting words, but those words were coming from the cubicle I was plastered against. The conversation went something like this.
"The whole situation is ridiculous," a young lady was saying. "We're all adults. You'd think the school would cut us some slack where a social life was concerned. It's worse than being at home with your parents."
"I'll go along with that," grumbled another sweet voice. "I'll swear we're probably the only virgins left in the country and it's silly. If we want to meet the occasional gentleman for a harmless date I don't see why we can't."
"Mainly because the school wants to ensure we remain virgins," came a giggle comment. "You remember the scandal with Marie last year."
"That's stupid. Any girl who gets caught naked with three boys in her room deserves a bit of scandal. She should have had more sense. Why three?"
"They were brothers and she said she couldn't decide which one she liked most so she decided to try them all."
There was some subdued giggling.
"Well, it doesn't matter. We're going to be free for the weekend and if we can't get ourselves laid over the weekend then we won't have been trying and I certainly intend to try. I'm not returning to the school a blushing virgin, I assure you."
There were a couple of approving comments to this statement, the speakers also declaring their intentions to join the ranks of ex-virgins. There was one comment of a dubious nature, with that young lass not quite sure that she was ready to go that far. She'd take it as it came and see what happened. A reasonable attitude, I thought.
By that time the female battleship had passed me by and I considered that it would not be to my advantage to be found with my ear pressed against the door of someone else's cubicle. I continued with my stroll, thinking naughty thoughts.
It was nearly dinnertime so I finished up in the diner car and ordered a meal. I took of a leisurely repast while seeing if the gods would offer up any tender morsels for my delectation. I'd just finished when four young lovelies came waltzing into the diner and stood looking for an empty table, of which there were none. I rose from my table and signalled to them, indicating the table was all theirs.
There was the usual 'oh, we couldn't take your table,' accompanied by me smiling and assuring them that there was no problem. I'd just finished anyway. While I vacated and they took possession I managed to look them over. One blonde, one young lady with hair so dark it was almost black, and the last two with shades in between those two extremes. If I was to place bets I'd have put the raven-haired lovely as the one who most wanted to get acquainted with the joys of life while the blonde, somewhat to my surprise, seemed the shyest. I departed, leaving them to their dinner.
I gave the girls a couple of hours and them wandered down to their cubicle and knocked. The dark haired girl answered and stood there looking at me.
"Good evening," I said with a smile. "The name's Francis, more commonly known as Frank. Can I come in for a moment?"
She gave a slight shrug and stepped to the side to let me enter. Probably figured it was four to one and we were on a train with other passengers. What could I do?
"Evening," I said to the other girls.
"So what do you want," the dark haired girl demanded.
"And your name is?"
"Helga," was the swift response. I was a little surprised. I'd have assigned a name like Helga to the blonde. Just shows you never can tell.
"OK. Tell me, Helga, have you seen the human blimp floating around the corridors?"
There were a couple of giggles from the girls while Helga looked thoughtful.
"I take it you're referring to the woman who said super-size me and forgot to say stop?"
"The very one," I agreed. "The reason I ask is that she passed me in the corridor a little earlier, leaving me crushed up against your door. I happened to hear enough of your conversation to realise that you had a little problem and to also realise that I could probably help in the solution to that problem."
"Ah, you're mistaken," said Helga, frowning slightly. "We don't have any problems."
"Yes, you do. You were discussing the fact that you needed to get laid and were wondering how to find the right person to assist in this very worthwhile endeavour. I thought that as we're all together in the train for the night, I should take some of my copious free time and provide some of that assistance."
I let that filter through their minds while they tried to make sense of it. Blondie was the smartest. She got the point almost immediately and started blushing. Then Helga deciphered the message and gave me a curious look.
"What?" she said. "Do you expect to have one of us trot off with you to your cubicle and let you fuck her?"
"Certainly not," I said. "If you'd seen the other passengers in my cubicle you'd never suggest such a thing. For a start I'm sure you would shock and scandalise the priest."
