"What is all this dried 'stuff' on these clothes you had on at the Angie and Andrew's Barbecue?" Susie asked holding out my t-shirt disgustedly at arms length before throwing it into the washing machine.
"Errm, I've no idea. I did leave them out on the lawn all night so it's probably down to snails or slugs or something." I replied with the very best version of an innocent, unknowing shrug that I could muster while covertly delighting in the joyous tingle between my legs that the memory of what really happened always brought.......
Two days earlier.
They say that a few drinks lower your inhibitions. That was quite self evident as my unusually inebriated wife attempted to pull down our host Andrew's underpants in one swift movement. Her sister, who was married to Andrew, wasn't impressed at all. I must admit all I was, was a little jealous that she'd never clawed at my underpants to get at my cock with such drunken abandon.
It was, I suppose, partly my fault. We'd been invited over for a BBQ and the plan was to stay over for the night so we could all relax and have a drink or two. And drink we did. Four people in their late twenties having a bit of fun and a good laugh. Well, three people actually. Angie, my sister in law, was being a little bit of a killjoy for reasons unknown. To me at least. It was a hot day and as the alcohol flowed. Andrew had started messing around with a hose pipe and sprinkler, just to cool off a bit, but then it got a bit silly and three of us ended up completely drenched and stripped down to our underwear. Angie got the hump even more when she'd been splashed, and instead of just taking off her mildly moist t-shirt and drying off in the warm evening sun, like the rest of us, she instead disappeared into the house and reappeared wearing a different, dry, top.
It was shortly afterwards that I made a comment about how wonderfully private their garden was and that if I lived there I'd never have anything on at all on a beautiful warm evening like this. Andrew said half joking that he was game if everyone else was. It was at this point that Susie, my wife, laughing hysterically, leaped up and made her spirited but unsuccessful attempt to wrestle his pants down, spilling her latest large Bacardi and Coke all over herself, and her bra and panties in the process. Three of us howled with laughter. Angie just scowled her disapproval at her sisters behaviour, and keen to prevent her removing what little she had left on, much to my disappointment (and, I suspected, Andrew's too) quickly took her inside to clean up and to find something 'dry' and 'decent' to put on. Susie did have a lovely slim body back then, with small but perfectly formed little breasts with lovely chunky little nipples. Her sister it seemed had been given the lions share of boobs in the family and also, seemed had appointed herself as guardian of both hers and hers sisters, and was keen to protect all of them from any exposure to the beautiful sunshine, air, or any eyes, admiring or otherwise, with a puritanical zeal.
The girls went inside, and as soon as they were out of earshot, Andrew apologised. "I'm sorry about Angie. We were just having a laugh. God, she can be such a miserable cow sometimes."
"I totally understand" I replied. "I don't know what's got into Susie. But this is far from standard behaviour. To be completely honest with you, as far as anything remotely fun and sexual goes, it pretty much stopped as soon as we were married. These days sex seems to have become nothing more than a persuasion tool she attempts to use as a last resort when she's not getting her own way."
"Really?" Andrew replied " That's interesting, because her sister is almost exactly the same."
At that moment Angie returned on her own from the house. Susie's overindulgence had gotten the better of her and after being copiously sick she had retired for the evening. I was sad to hear that, as I was kind of looking forward to watching whatever new mayhem she might attempt while she was pissed. I dutifully popped inside to make sure she was ok, which she was, and left her to sleep it off. As I returned to the garden I could tell by the hushed but terse sounding conversation that went suddenly quiet when I appeared that things were no better outside.
"Would anyone like another drink?" I asked, to try and break the awkward silence.
"No thank you." Angie said, and smiled a little sympathetically at me. It was my wife after all who had got herself in a state, and in nobody's opinion but Angie's, heinously misbehaved. "I've had enough, I'm going to bed too." She said as she strode purpsoefully into the house
I had the distinct feeling Andrew was in the dog house for some reason unbeknown, as he defiantly pulled off his soggy pants and threw them in the general direction of the now departed Angie, while uttering a barely audible "Well fuck off then" under his breath. Never one to miss an opportunity to strip off, I gleefully pulled mine down and flicked them with my toes on to the pile of my other soggy clothes on the lawn, in solidarity.
"Good shot." Said Andrew admiring my pant removing skills. We helped ourselves to our first naked round of drinks and sat down on the lawn determined to enjoy the rest of the evening.
I'd known Andrew since school where we'd played in various sports teams together and had seen each other naked hundreds of times. This was just another one of those times. We finally started to relax after it had all gotten a little tense, and carried on comparing notes about our sexually repressed spouses.
"I once grabbed a bit of buttock, not hard or anything, I was just enjoying it and sort of lifting her up a bit. She stopped pulled my dick out, digging her nails in, in the process, pushed me away violently and accused me of trying to shove my finger up her arsehole." I said with an incredulous look on my face. "I wouldn't have minded if I had been trying to, but none of my fingers or my thumbs for that matter were anywhere near her arsehole. It hadn't even occurred to me to put a finger up her bum. It was really weird." I sighed "Anyway, I reckon you shouldn't knock it until you've tried it." I said trying to regain some levity with a knowing chuckle.
"I hope she didn't damage anything when she grabbed you?" I inquired.
"No." Andrew said taking his limp cock in hand and then holding it up by the loose end of his foreskin for a full inspection.
"I'm sorry about that." I said
"That's ok" Andrew replied, "It wasn't your fault, and" he continued through a smirk, "Besides, that's the closest I've come to a shag in a couple of months." We both laughed at that and topped up our glasses.
We continued to talk about our currently crappy sex lives, And then began to reminisce about our past sexual exploits with past girlfriends and our pre marriage, slightly more interesting wives. It was was nice to be able to talk to someone so openly about it all for once, especially another man, without all the usual toxic male bullshit that usually comes with any conversation between men. We were by now, both nicely sloshed. Laying there on the grass in the twilight, listening to each other's tales get more and more lurid and detailed, was very pleasant. I could feel that all this talk and the images it was conjuring up in my almost unswervingly kinky imagination were starting to have an effect on my unfettered member though. I could feel myself throbbing and growing as Andrew continued. By the time he'd finished his latest tale there was no disguising the fact that my cock was rock hard. My taught circumcised glans glistened in the fading light. I didn't give a shit though, this was the most liberated I'd felt in years. There may not be any of the boring/lightweight girls involved but this was fast becoming very good fun.
