Leslie and I didn't speak much over breakfast. I was pensive and couldn't tell what she was thinking. We were both in a fog of fatigue from lack of sleep. I didn't want to mess things up further and needed time to process both the events of the party and Leslie's discovery. After only one night, it was still raw for both of us.
Leslie was far more understanding than I expected, or deserved. And, while it's possible that I didn't cause too much damage, my actions were inexcusable. Because I might have.
I got up and grabbed the coffee pot and brought it over to her, asking, "More coffee?"
She nodded.
I topped off her cup as she got up to go to the den. She didn't want to engage much yet so I returned to the kitchen and cleaned up the breakfast dishes, giving us both space and me time to think.
I was scared, and could only imagine Leslie's range of thoughts and emotions. I was angry with myself and sick to my stomach to consider some of those possibilities.
And now this? Does she want this? If she's doing this for us, but her heart isn't in it, will she look back on it with regret?
While I thought Leslie could forgive me, the path she was suggesting now might be a constant reminder of my indiscretion.
"Let's go," Leslie said as she grabbed the car keys.
"I thought we were going to shop online," I replied.
"Chris, I don't know the first thing about harnesses. I don't know what works, what's comfortable, or even what will hold the dildo. I need help and so we're going to go to a store that can help."
I could hear the fatigue in her voice, along with some resignation, but her logic was on point and perhaps the time spent together shopping for "pegging supplies" would help gauge where I was with her and how far down this path we should go.
We arrived at the store and were greeted with a friendly hello from the girl behind the checkout counter as we walked in. "Anything I can help you find?", she asked.
Leslie replied, "Yeah. We need some help picking out a harness, though mind if we look around for a bit first?"
"Of course! Just waive me down when you're ready."
Leslie and I wandered first into the lingerie section with racks of wispy baby dolls, teddies, g-strings, and the like. The old movie line where the woman says to the man, "Pour yourself a drink while I slip into something more comfortable", came to mind with a chuckle. The lingerie here wasn't made for comfort, much less for sleeping in. But, there were a few that I happily imagined seeing Leslie in. My cock stirred at the thought.
While most of the selections were too "slutty" or cheap looking for Leslie, she lingered around a soft blue satin baby doll with matching bikini panty, perhaps the only ensemble in the store that didn't look uncomfortable. I told her I liked it and how beautiful she'd look in it.
She didn't reply as she looked at the price and sizes.
We continued to the toy section and stopped to look at the dildos. The porn industry has clearly created an appetite for the supersized because there were very few dildos on display that resembled an average guy. Of course, if a dildo is for play, why not get something fantastical?
Even so, some of the toys were comically sized, causing us both to chuckle. "Who could possibly take this?", I asked her, pointing to an elephantine-sized phallus that was probably a foot long and thicker than a beer can.
Among the wide variety of shapes, sizes, and colors, I was drawn to one in particular. It was big, being both longer and thicker than the one we already had at home, but it was still within the realm of reality. More importantly, it was very realistic-looking with a dark chocolate brown shaft and a milk chocolate-colored head. It was a cock very similar to the one that featured in my most private fantasy.
I wanted it. But, I also didn't want Leslie to note my interest so I moved on.
Shortly thereafter, Leslie called over the salesperson so we could look at harnesses.
She took us to the section where they were on display, introduced herself as Sarah, and asked a couple of questions.
"So, do you have any existing toys you want to use with it? There are a couple of different systems?"
Leslie replied, "Well, I have one he got me years ago, but Chris also particularly liked one you have over there so let's make sure it can fit that one since this is for him."
My cheeks immediately flushed.
Sarah said, "Great! Can you show me which one?"
We went back and grabbed the dildo and Sarah commented, "Yeah, this is a nice one. It's particularly popular. It's a nice size and shape and has a good feel for anal play but it's also pretty big for beginners."
She turned to me and asked, "Have you done any anal play before or will this be the first time?"
Even though I had used Leslie's dildo before during solo play, I thought it better to not go down that path to avoid an embarrassing discussion, so I just replied, "My first time."
Sarah replied without a hint of judgment or care, "ok, so we should also look at butt plugs to help you get used to having something back there. Those are over here and they'll definitely make things easier. It's amazing what the butt can take, but it takes a bit of training if you will. Most people start with big aspirations but give up because things hurt. And, there's no reason even a large cock like this one should hurt if you've prepared properly. So, a plug is on the must-have list. And, they're not expensive at all."
With that, Sarah showed us a variety of butt plugs, again ranging in size from small to 'Are you kidding me?' We settled on a package of three: small, medium, and large.
Sarah then commented, "You'll also need lube unless you have some already. The rule of thumb is there's no such thing as too much lube. A little time spent prepping and you should feel no pain whatsoever!"
After picking out a harness, Sarah then asked, "So, will that be it?"
"One more thing," said Leslie, pointing back to the lingerie section.
