A Leaky Faucet: First Time With a Black Girl
(Thursday, February 14th, 2019)
The air was crisp and cold. I could see my breath and also feel a deathly chill from snow seeping into the hole in my boot.
To make matters worse, I had forgotten my scarf and hat, and the wind whipped mercilessly around my neck and ears.
Red.
I cursed under my breath at the changed stoplight. As if it weren't cold enough walking briskly! Now I'd have to stand there for a full minute while the wet, sleety snow put a layer of vanilla frosting on my freshly cut hair.
Green.
It was about time. I stepped off the curb but felt a wave of angry sleet splash against my jeans. Some idiot driver didn't feel like waiting his turn and had soaked me with his impatient tires.
The chilling spray caused me to take a step back and I slipped on the slush and fell on my bum.
I quickly used the 'F' word, and would have shot the driver if I had of had a gun, but I didn't.
Instead I grabbed a wrench from my toolbox which was also on the ground, and thought about throwing it at the car, but then decided against it. The thing cost me $58 bucks plus tax. If it ended up on the road in this ankle deep snow, I'd never get it back.
Yellow.
I sighed in frustration. The light had taken forever to turn green, but was now so quickly changing.
I grabbed my toolbox, struggled to my feet, then moved quickly to the other side.
As I mounted the curb, I glanced at the sign and felt relieved to see the name "Maple Street" written on it. I had finally made it.
I headed off down the street, watching the numbers get higher and higher, until I finally came to the one that needed me.
It was a brown brick townhome, and the driveway wasn't shovelled. When I added that to the fact the lady on the phone needed help with a faucet, then I guessed she was probably single.
The fact that it was Valentine's Day, and she wasn't out on a date, got me thinking she was also probably a little plain looking. But I had been quite wrong about such things before. Still, the fact the lady had sounded drunk on the phone made me wonder. Had she felt lonely and merely toyed with the faucet to make it leak so that...so that...
I banished the thought. Being a handyman, I always thought stupid stuff like that. But sometimes, certain stupid stuff did come true. Like the time that...that...oh never mind.
I mounted the steps and hit the buzzer.
The door opened almost instantly. Had she been waiting right there?
I gawked as she was suddenly in full view.
Long dyed red hair, bouncing like strands of satin off her pretty jet black shoulders.
Sweetly sculpted cheeks, shimmering under the chandelier as if the finest Belgium chocolate.
Dreamy brown eyes, so lovely like pools of sugary molasses.
She wore only a halter top, and a pair of shorts.
She was big breasted, and they seemed to stand up under her top with only a light sag.
My mouth was open like some caught fish gasping for air. Her legs were long, slender and impossibly sexy.
On her feet were open toed suede heels. Her toes were painted a lusty scarlet, same colour as her stunning thick lips.
"You're not quite what I expected," she said with an air of disappointment.
I sighed and shrugged sheepishly. If she had faked a call to get some Brad Pitt lookalike with rippling abs and a muscular chest, she was obviously sadly disappointed. Still, she seemed to still manage a wry smile and eyed me up and down, making me hope I was like red meat, about to be devoured by some desperate lioness.
"Come in," she said, holding the door open wider.
"You got a lot of white frost on your head," she added, almost giggling.
I stepped inside and she closed the door behind me.
"Let me take your coat," she said, holding out hands that showed off shockingly sexy, long red nails. They sent my senses reeling, and I began to sweat.
I watched her hang up my coat until she suddenly spun round and pointed playfully at my pot belly.
"You having twins or something?" she said with a mischievous smile.
She was close enough that I could smell alcohol on her breath.
I too smiled, and was unable to stop the bulge from growing in my pants.
"I started to put on pounds when I turned forty," I managed, my face reddening.
"Does that mean ten years ago or twenty?" she said, giggling loudly.
"Actually, a full twenty," I confessed.
"You're sixty?"
"Uh huh. Just turned the big 60 last week."
"Almost old enough to be my grandpa," she said with a smirk. "I'm exactly half of that, thirty years old."
I began to also smirk and feel warm inside. She was very sexy, very sweet, very playful, very fun loving, and obviously very drunk.
"I guess I do drink too much," she spat out, almost as if she could read my mind. "But it is how I handle things, you know, like stress and disappointment. Occasionally I will drink to get tipsy. But I never do drugs."
"I'm an alcoholic," I said, adding a shrug. "So I never drink anymore. But I don't do drugs either."
I suddenly sneezed and shivered a bit.