A Big Man Finds Love

Life is not easy when you are a person of a certain size, if you know what I mean. My name is Jericho Brown and I've always been a large man. Six feet three inches tall, jet-black and bulky. Yeah, I've heard them all throughout my twenty three years on this planet. Currently, I attend Boston University. Last summer, I earned a Bachelors degree in business and I'm enrolled in the MBA program. If you ask me, we need more black males with MBAs and that's why I'm putting in my time and energy.

You can't put a value on education. I was raised to believe that one never stops learning. That's what drove me to become the first Black Male Valedictorian of my high school. That' s also what kept me on the Dean's List in college. Yes, I want to succeed. I come from a successful family too. My father, Lawrence Jacob Brown went to Harvard to get his business degree. These days, he's the Vice President of Original Programming for Channel Nine Entertainment. My mother, Ellen Matthews Brown is a graduate of Brown University who currently serves as a state representative.

My brother Jonathan Brown graduated from Boston College with a Bachelors degree in Criminal Justice. He also went to the police academy. These days, he's a sergeant with the Massachusetts State Troopers. My sister Lane Brown is a defense lawyer in Seattle. We all try to make something of ourselves. I wish more black people would step up to the plate. We've all got so much potential. I feel sorry for my African-American brothers and sisters whom I see drift through prison and all that.

Too many young black men are getting mixed up with the wrong women. They end up becoming fathers before they can face the financial and emotional burden that it can bring. Also, they tend to get in trouble with law enforcement. I wish more black males attended college and fewer of our brothers went to prison. Seriously, man, that's not good for the future of our community. Too many young black women are becoming criminals and far too many of them become mothers before their time. I don't think anyone should have offspring before they are capable of supporting themselves and others financially.

Yeah, I've always been way into Book Smarts. My parents always told me that I had to succeed. Our extended family is made up of successful and important people too. Uncle John is a judge in New York. Aunt Barbara is a district attorney in Alaska. Cousin Mabel is a pilot with American Air Line. See what I mean? In this family, you have to make something of yourself, or suffer the consequences. I guess that could explain why I neglected my needs yet became a financial and academic success. That is not a good thing, trust me.

My first relationship did not go too well. I met Michael Stone when I was only nineteen. He was a college football player, one of those handsome black studs worshiped by everyone in America. A year after we met, he would be drafted into the National Football League, live every man's dream of playing the beautiful game, make millions and have all the girls he wanted. But back then, he was just a college senior unsure how to deal with certain aspects of his emerging sexuality. He majored in Biology. We had a business class together.

That's how it all began. I offered Michael my services as a tutor and we became friends. We were very close. He even confided in me that he was bisexual. He had always been faithful to his beloved girlfriend, a Latin bombshell named Maria Conrad but he found himself attracted to a handsome black male model named Troy Stuart, and they hooked up. Michael and Troy continued to have their affair in secret.

Nobody suspected a thing. Troy Stuart had appeared in television shows, commercials and various other advertising outlets. Women around the country knew his face. He was famous for his rugged good looks and chiseled body. Publicly, Troy Stuart dated Michelle Anderson, the sultry black leading lady of a popular TV show. Privately, he embraced Michael Stone, college football player. I fell in love with Michael Stone. In my foolishness, I thought I could take him away from both his girlfriend and his closeted boyfriend. I was wrong. Michael didn't want to be more than friends. I was crushed. This was my single venture into the world of romance and it ended badly.

I've got a confession to make. At the age of twenty three, I am still very much a virgin. It's not something that I go around telling people. If you were to look at me, you might think I was a professional football player in a well-cut business suit or an aspiring young businessman. You'd never think that I was a successful but lonely individual. Yes, unfortunately, this is what I am. Or at least, that's who I used to be, until I met Nikki Córdoba.

Nikki Cordoba was this very odd person I met at the university. When I entered my MBA program, she was a freshman. A five-foot-eight, 130-pound, black-haired, bronze-skinned, eighteen-year-old softball player. Her father was Ricardo Cordoba, a famous Baseball player and billionaire from back in the day. Her father owned one of Major League Baseball's top teams. Her mother, Elisabeth Margoles Cordoba was a former state senator. This girl came from truly impressive lineage. Yet you'd never believe it, to look at her.

Nikki Cordoba was one of the campus's bad girls. All the guys loved her but the women hated her. She loved playing baseball with the guys at practice. She went to clubs and got quite a reputation as a wild chick. Hell, she even challenged Boston favorite Anna Coral, a world-famous professional boxer to a grudge match and won. Anna Coral is a fairly large woman with an impressive list of wins in the ring. Not someone to be trifled with. Yet Nikki still won. The media loved her. She even dated NFL superstar Jake Blunt for a time. In the world of college softball, she had no equal. She did for college softball what Michael Jordan did for Basketball. She made it spectacular.

Yes, this gal was becoming the hometown hero and household name. Again, I was a soft-spoken academic who encountered her once at the campus library. That's how it all began. Nikki and I became pals. I was thrilled to be walking around with a very friendly, extremely beautiful woman. Who wouldn't? Nikki had one of those magnetic personalities. People loved her. I once saw her on ESPN. They were eating out of her hand, there's no other way to describe it.

I must say that I was developing a bit of a crush on Nikki Cordoba. Who wouldn't? She was beautiful, smart and very talented. Yet I was hesitant to share my feelings. Keep in mind that I had some image issues. Oh, I've got a handsome visage but my body is quite bulky. I look good in a suit. I have reservations about nudity. Not that I'd ever gotten nude for anybody. I didn't have any luck with women and I had zero luck with men. I didn't deal too well with rejection. Besides, I didn't want my parents to find out that I was experiencing an attraction to both sexes, even though I had never been with anyone.

Hanging out with Nikki was a thrill. This girl could afford to go to any restaurant. The best night clubs were open to her. Don't even get me started about her wardrobe. This girl had enough clothes to open up a small mall. The fact that she almost always dressed like a guy, yet still looked sexy wasn't lost on me. Hey, I think tomboys are cool. Especially athletic prodigies like her. Yeah, it's like that.

I must say that there was a whole different side to her that people didn't know about. Nikki wanted to make her mark on the world. She didn't just want to be Daddy's Girl. I respected that. I didn't want to live in my parents shadow either. I intended to build my own business from the ground up someday. I envied those men and women I saw featured on Black Enterprise sometimes. Many of them led lives of fulfillment and accomplishment. Good for them. Yeah, I was jealous. Sometimes, I saw a successful black man featured there with his family and I was envious. To have love in your life and to be successful, who could ask for more?

One time, Nikki and I ended up at her place. I didn't feel like being home alone or talking to my folks. My older sister Lane Brown was bragging about her success and her engagement to her new man, a dazzling Hip Hop sensation and self-made multi-millionaire known as The Black King. My brother Jonathan Brown had married fellow State Trooper Jessica Quincy. The whole family was celebrating. My siblings were happy and successful. I was a lonely academic, a frustrated college student and a closet bisexual who had yet to experience anything other than his fist in the sex department. No, I didn't feel like celebrating!

On the weekends, Nikki sometimes liked her peace and quiet so we spent the weekend together. Nikki lived in a fancy apartment on the Back Bay. This place is so expensive that even my folks can't afford it, at least not without wincing a bit. This weekend, I did something that I never did. I drank beer. Nikki, the crazed party girl, noticed this and it sent alarms ringing down in her head. Nikki took the beer away from me, but not after two bottles. Being unaccustomed to drinking, I started retching almost right away. The whole thing was embarrassing.

Nikki helped me sober up. I lay in bed and she just talked to me as she remained nearby. I don't know if it was the beer talking but I said some pretty strange things. I remember saying each and every single one of those things, but I don't know why I said them. It's not like me to open up to anyone. I told Nikki about my festive siblings, leading their perfect lives and relationships. I told them how I was not only the family's youngest but also the black sheep. I was the imperfect one, the loner. I did not tell Nikki about my sexuality, but only because it slipped my mind.

Nikki listened. When I was done, she took a bottle and started drinking. Man, my story couldn't be that bad, could it? Nikki did something which was way of out character for her. She told me her story. Man, did the media have her wrong! Nikki was considered to be the wildest rich party girl this side of Paris Hilton. The stories she told me weren't festive. The story of a young woman raised by her father while her ambitious and uncaring mother pursued politics. To this day, Nikki didn't have a single female friend. She didn't trust women. You can thank her mother for that. And I thought I had problems!

When Nikki finished her story, I looked at her. The girl gave me a sad smile. We hugged one another. I'm not the kind of man who hugs or likes to be hugged. It's just not for me. It makes me feel uncomfortable. Yet as I hugged Nikki, I didn't feel uncomfortable. In fact, this felt right. I looked into her eyes. Nikki smiled, a mischievous look in her brown eyes. Then she kissed me.

Slowly, we caressed each other. This was all new to me. I had never touched a woman like that before. Hell, I had never touched anyone like that before. We embraced one another. Want to know what the weird thing is? As I got undressed, I didn't feel ugly or imperfect. I didn't feel self-conscious. I felt right. Nikki undressed and while gorgeous, she certainly wasn't what I expected. She was almost shy about it. The media would have you believe that she behaves like a porn star. She was anything but.

Nikki was very tender as she kissed me. I put my arms around her, and caressed her breasts and cupped her buttocks. I've wanted to do this for a long time. I've wanted to make love to someone, anyone, for the longest time. Yet as my first time occurred, I wasn't with just anyone. I was with Nikki, the hottest girl in the state of Massachusetts! This was awesome! Nikki kissed me, and licked a path down to my neck. I felt her hands curl up and play with my chest hair.

I looked at her as she licked a path from my navel down to my groin. I slowly let out my breath. Smiling, Nikki took my cock in her hand. I saw her examine it. Yes, I was uncircumcised. I hoped this wouldn't be a problem. As Nikki took me into her mouth, I realized that no, this wasn't a problem for her. The merest touch of her lips on my aching manhood was almost enough to set me off but I held back. When I came, Nikki surprised me even more by taking in all of my seed.

When she was done, she asked me if I had a condom. Oh, shoot! I didn't! Was my evening of wonder about to end? I cursed the fates for their cruelty. Nikki reached into a drawer and grabbed a pile of condoms. They came in different colors. She ripped one off with her teeth and placed it on my cock. I looked at her, mesmerized. Nikki winked, then climbed on top of me. The girl lowered herself until I was embedded deep inside her. Her eyes closed, she placed her hands in mine and began riding me.

Nikki did not make a sound as she rode me, but her face mirrored different feelings as we went on. Sometimes, she winced with her eyes closed, or she gasped inaudibly. I held her by the hips, and thrust into her. For a time, we went at it like this. I can't describe the sensations. They were overwhelming, and new, and all felt very good, though sometimes awkward. Nikki suddenly let herself go, and fell on top of me. We remained like this, holding each other without a word.

Hours have passed since Nikki and I first did it. I looked at the ceiling, and thanked heavens for this wonderful new experience. The world's oldest virgin had finally lost it. I looked at Nikki as she slept. Yes, I was fond of this short-haired, tomboyish beauty. I liked her very much. I wondered what the future had in store for us. What would she say the next morning? What would I say? Would what we did affect our friendship? Did she know how much this meant to me? I don't know. I don't have all the answers. I'm very new to this. I just hope this evening turns out to be something both of us can look back on and smile about, instead of a horrible mistake.