INTRODUCTION & DISCLAIMER - Contenders for the title of Britain's dumbest criminals, Rod, Nick and Dwayne have already found out the hard way that when abducting spoiled rich girl Harriet to extort a ransom they didn't take into account that she would need to go to the toilet.
Something else the trio of twits also didn't think of is that girls need to have their panties changed daily, and within a few days Harriet's knickers are pretty dirty. Getting her some clean knickers to wear shouldn't be an overly difficult task, but in the hands of these stupid crooks it doesn't go very well to put it mildly.
Please note that this story series contains themes of urination, scat and menstruation, so if female bodily functions aren't your thing, it might be best to give it a miss. Otherwise, please enjoy Chapter 3, rate and comment, and look for more chapters in coming days.
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When I awoke the next morning, it was to the sound of rain falling outside and me thinking I was back in my flat and that yesterday was all some sort of weird and vivid bad dream.
However, as I woke up more I became aware that it was not a dream, and I was still very much a captive in this crappy house, my legs and ankles bound. My mouth was dry, and I needed to go to the toilet. My predicament put me in a bad mood, and jumping off the bed I repeatedly slammed my shoulder against the door, while shouting, "Hey, hey, hey!" as loud as I could.
It had the desired effect. Rod, Nick and Dwayne entered my bedroom.
"What's your fucking problem, Princess?" Rod grumbled.
I glared at him. "I need to get a drink and I need to go to the toilet, okay?"
"Okay Princess, don't get your knickers in a twist. Dwayne, take care of her," Rod ordered.
Like yesterday, I had to shuffle on my bare feet down the hallway to first the kitchen where Dwayne gave me a glass of water, then to the bathroom where Dwayne pulled down my jeans and panties and sat me on the toilet.
I began to pee, the yellow urine splashing into the toilet water and sulking my vulva. Dwayne stood over the toilet staring at my pussy and down at my knickers as I was peeing, and it pissed me off no end.
"Dwayne, stop staring at my knickers and my fanny!" I snapped angrily, to which Dwayne sheepishly looked at the ceiling.
My pee stream abated and died down to splashes and dribbles, leaving me with a wet pussy. As I stopped pissing a gush of wind came out of my vagina and I fanny farted, the sound echoing in the toilet.
Dwayne's immature sense of humor kicked in and he laughed at me. I glowered at him. "What's so fucking funny?"
"Harriet, you just farted," he laughed.
"No, I queefed," I corrected him.
"Queefed?" Dwayne looked totally confused, not that it was unusual for that imbecile.
"I fanny farted," I said impatiently. "I farted from my pussy, not my arse."
"That's weird, can only girls do that fanny farting thing?" Dwayne wanted to know.
I gave him a look of contempt with my icy blue eyes. "Of course only girls can do it, because only girls have a fanny to fart from!"
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry."
I looked at the toilet roll. "Stop talking about my fanny, get some toilet paper and wipe it."
Dwayne obediently unwound three sheets of soft, pink, super absorbent three-ply toilet paper from the roll, and wiped my pussy with it, the better quality loo paper absorbing my piss better than the single-ply nightmare on the roll yesterday.
As soon as he dropped the wet toilet tissue into the bowl between my open legs I said, "This is a proper fart."
With that, I farted hard into the toilet, my anus staying open and my shit came out of my bottom with a mighty rush. Brown feces that were sticky, messy and very, very smelly went everywhere in the toilet, my shit staining the toilet and I could feel my messy warm excrement all around my rear opening and on my bum cheeks too.
Dwayne looked dismayed as my shit continued to splash into the toilet with loud farts as I pushed my excrement out of my rear end, the overwhelmingly bad smell filling the bathroom.
Finally, my poo had finished coming out of my bottom - for now. I leaned forward on the toilet so my abductor would have easier access to my dirty bottom to wipe me.
"Don't just stand there, get some toilet paper and wipe my arse!" I snapped angrily.
"Um Harriet, are you in a bad mood this morning?" Dwayne asked as he unwound some toilet paper from the roll.
I laughed sarcastically. "Now Dwayne, why would I be in a bad mood?"
"You seem angry." Dwayne wiped some shit from my bum with his clumsy fingers, the only consolation and a small one considering my complete indignation was that at least this toilet paper was soft and absorbent unlike yesterday.
"What would I have to be angry about, Dwayne? I'm really happy. I just love being a kidnap victim sitting on the loo having a shit with my knickers around my ankles and having a fucking idiot wiping my bum because my hands are fucking tied and I can't do it myself!"
I glared at Dwayne as he again wiped my bottom, my shit going all over the toilet tissue and the smell getting even worse.
"I thought you might not be a morning person or something, Harriet," said Dwayne.
"Yes of course, an abducted girl who needs one of her kidnappers to wipe her bum for her is in a bad mood because she's not a morning person rather than because she's been kidnapped and held for ransom in a fucking shithouse slum."
Dwayne like yesterday was having a hard time wiping my arse despite better quality toilet paper, and again began to wipe me the wrong way. "Not near my cunt!" I snapped angrily.
"Sorry Harriet," Dwayne said. He got more loo paper, and I felt the soft tissue against my anus. I could also feel that I had more wind in my back passage, and just to be a bitch I farted on the toilet paper.
"Oops sorry, that slipped out," I said.
"That's okay," said Dwayne. He dropped that piece of toilet paper smeared in my poo into the toilet, then unwound some more.
When I had just farted I could feel more poo inside my bowels, pressing against my anal sphincter and the walls of my rectum. As soon as Dwayne applied the new toilet paper to my bum, I defecated and the feces came out of my bum with another fart and an almighty stench. My poo went all over the pink toilet tissue, Dwayne dropping the toilet paper I had shit all over into the bowl and stood back, looking at his hand in horror.
I looked in some satisfaction at what I had done. Not only had my excrement gone on the toilet paper, the smelly brown poo was now all over Dwayne's hand.