My name is Ali, and last week I fucked on camera for the first time. It never occurred to me that when I became a smoking fetish model to earn tuition money that I would end up doing hardcore porn. What shocked me even more, was that deep down, the experience had been incredibly erotic and thrilling for me.
However, it was likely only a matter of time before my video showed up on the open web, and then my family and friends would know that I was doing porn. The shame and embarrassment was almost too much to bare.
On the other hand, I had made $11,000 for a couple hours of work, which would allow me stay in school, but I might have just ruined my reputation and future prospects for going to law school upon graduation. There was also the possible impact on my career as an attorney.
I had agreed to another shoot, one that was far more risquΓ© than the previous one; however, I had no intention of showing up for it. I lay in bed, missing class again, with the covers pulled over my head. I was craving cigarette, but smoking reminded me of what I had done.
My smartphone vibrated again. I had stopped answering it this morning because today was the next shoot, and I didn't want to be sweet-talked into another one. My eyes were red from cryingβto the point that it felt like I had no tears left. Suddenly, I heard a loud pounding on my dorm room door.
"Ali, it's Pete, please let me in, so we can talk!" he said.
Shit, Pete was my "co-star" and cameraman from the smoking fetish studio. I kept quiet, hoping he would go away.
"I know you're there. If you don't want to work, fine. I just to make sure you're okay before I leave," he pleaded.
He was a really nice guy, and too good looking for my own good. I couldn't keep from thinking about having sex with him. Just the sound of his voice made me wet. I hated my libido for being such a traitor. Pete kept talking, and soon I began feeling like a major asshole for not answeringβhe clearly was concerned about me. Finally, I responded in a weak voice.
"Pete, I'm fine, just not up to doing it again. Please go and don't come back," I said, and then began sobbing again.
Everything was silent for several minutes, and just as I began to relax, I heard my dorm window creak open. Damn, I had forgotten to lock it! Before I could scramble out of bed, Pete had crawled through and was on my floor, right next to my bed.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" I screamed at him.
"I just wanted to see you...that's not true...I want to hold you again," he said.
I began sobbing, and he put his arms around me, holding me, and not saying a word. My arms instinctively went around him, and we embraced like that for a lone time, until I finally stopped crying.
My hands were shaking from nicotine withdrawals, and Pete recognized the symptom. He found my purse, retrieved a cigarette and lighter, gently placed a cigarette between my lips, and lit it. I inhaled deeply, filling my lungs with comforting smoke, and then exhaled through my nostrils.
He kissed me on the forehead, cheek, and then the lips. My tongue plunged into his mouth, as my body melted into his. I hated myself for giving in so easily, but I couldn't resist him, especially when he was so close. My hand with the cigarette caressed the back of his head, as we passionately French-kissed.
Pete reached around, gently grabbed my wrist, and moved my hand back to my mouth, so that I could take another long drag from the cigarette held between my fingers. The smoke came spilling out of my mouth, as he rubbed my pert breasts. I always slept naked, and his hands urgently went right down to my wet pussy, where in slowly inserted a finger. I groaned in satisfaction. It had been a week since I had fucked him, and I was very horny.
Before I could think better of it, he was inside of me. I was on my back, legs spread wide, pulling him into to me with both hands. He would pause ever so often to let me take another drag, and then as I exhaled, he would pump me hard, causing the smoke to erupt out of my mouth and nose. By the time I was close to finishing the cigarette, we both came, simultaneously.
Then, to my absolute horror, I realized that I had forgotten to take the pill for the last week. The thought of getting pregnant on top of everything was just too much for me. I began to sob again. Eventually, I told Pete why I was crying, and he assured me that everything would be okay. He said that I could take the morning after pill right now, and that everything would be okay.
He offered to go buy it for me, but I had been in bed too long, and wanted to get out of my dorm room, so I said we should go together. For some crazy reason, I felt a lot better when I was with him. I rose from the bed, and went the bathroom. I studied my disheveled appearance in the mirror. The image in the mirror looked terrible.
As a redhead, my skin was extremely pale, and covered with freckles, which really stood out when I flushed. And right now, I looked like a spotted plucked chicken. After cleaning myself up, we drove to the pharmacy, and I downed the medicine with a shot of Vodka, which Pete provided.
My nerves calmed down, as the alcohol hit my bloodstream. I seldom drank because the results where usually disastrous. I was a mean and rambunctious drunk. In fact, the first time I really tied one on was my senior prom night, and I had practically rapped my nerdy date. We both lost our virginity that night, but that poor boy never went out with me again.
The young man went home with two fractured fingers, deep nail scratches all over his back, hickies covering his neck and cheeks, and a very deflated male ego. Little wander he avoided me for the rest of the school year.
The thought of my bad behavior prompted me to take another big drink of the Vodka. After a few more chugs, I was feeling quite randy. In fact, I had changed my mind about doing the shoot with Pete.
"Let's go to the studio and fuck again!" I said.