(c) 2009 Karen Kraft
All Rights Reserved
The twins, Jane and June, were close. Very close. They had been since birth, or more accurately, since conception. Neither had any secrets she kept from the other, and they shared everything. Jane and June were symmetric dicephalic parapagus conjoined twins. Two otherwise normal lives were being led with surprising ease considering the fact that, but for each having her own head, they shared one body. Necessity required a great deal of cooperation between them and their occasional arguments were few and mostly trivial. Two people sharing the same body may have seemed strange to others, but to Jane and June, it was not that big a deal.
They shared the same friends, although some people tended to relate to Jane more than June while others felt the opposite way. Theirs was a top-down relationship. Having two heads, two minds, two preferences for food, music, art, movies, etc., posed little more of a problem for Jane and June than it would for any other twins sharing nothing more than a car and a bedroom. From the neck down, their individualities merged. Below the neck, they had but one body – they were one "person".
Jane loved to drink large quantities of beer while June preferred nothing more than an occasional glass of wine with dinner. The problem was that whenever Jane would drink too much or take a lot of recreational drugs, both of them suffered the resulting physical consequences as those substances coursed through the shared portions of their circulatory systems. This was resolved by a moderation agreement similar to the one the twins reached when June's overeating had resulted in both the girls gaining too much weight.
At 22, Jane and June received their respective bachelors degrees in American history and American literature. Although they had had numerous conversations on the topic, it was only after they finished college that they finally agreed that teaching would be their joint life vocations. Just as people with speech impediments often work very hard to overcome that challenge, to the point where they become radio and television personalities, the twins instinctively knew that their bizarre appearance, if allowed to control their lives, would isolate them from the rest of the world. Being outgoing and brave, they determined that teaching high school would nip in the bud any thoughts of hiding from public view. Unlike adults who might look away or avoid the spectacle they presented, high school students, they knew, would dive right in with interest, excitement, and enthusiastic questions.
The twins taught at one of Los Angeles Unified School District's (LAUSD) larger high schools. Jane and June did not consider themselves "disabled", and expected no special treatment not enjoyed by the other teachers. The only exception the personnel department at the public school district had to make involved the full-time-employee status of the twins. If every teacher had to teach a certain number of courses, as a practical necessity the twins would be working more than forty hours per week. Since Jane and June refused to be classified as part time employees, it was eventually resolved that each would receive a full-time pay check although each only taught half of the time while auditing the other's classes the other half.
This solution did not come easily, however. Their case went all the way up to the State Superintendent of Public Instruction, who was still undecided on the matter when the Governor called to advise her that the teacher's union, having learned that they would be paid two full-time union dues, endorsed the special accommodation.
A moderate Republican, Jane voted for John McCain in the 2008 presidential election while June voted for- and actively campaigned for- Barak Obama. Jane was a good sport about it and didn't complain when June insisted that they wear the official Obama tee shirt while ringing door bells and passing out Obama campaign literature. On election day, the twins served as "poll sitters" on behalf of their respective political parties. Their only argument was held in private when June announced that she found McCain's vice-presidential candidate, Sarah Palin, sexually attractive but unqualified. That announcement disgusted Jane although she was a right-to-life advocate and strong supporter of the McCain/Palin ticket. Jane was strongly "pro-life," while June was ardently "pro-choice". Although the twins were blessed with above-average intellectual and social skills, they did not begin dating, or even take their drivers license exams, until they were eighteen years old.
In a perfect world, Jane and June would have liked the same boys or, at very least, similar boys. Unfortunately, this was not the case. June was bisexual and liked to date other girls as well. She didn't protest when her sister would make out with guys, and she enjoyed the sensations she felt during petting. Jane, on the other hand, was disapproving and more than a little repulsed when June began to date girls. This was never more the case when June hooked up with a butch woman with dozens of piercings and very little non-tattooed skin anywhere on her body. When good oral sex was performed on them, both of the girls would reach a climax, although not necessarily at the same time. When an orgasm was brought on by the other girl's date, particularly if she were the second to achieve climax, laughter and good-heartedness subdued what might have been an awkward situation. June began taking birth control pills on her sister's behalf and insisted that Jane practice safe sex. The two had a history of negotiation and compromise not only because the alternative would be tedious and unrelenting, but also because it was in their natures, their characters, to be accommodating to others.
The situation was harder on the boys and girls who dated the twins, since privacy during sex was the norm in their community, and this was unavailable when dating the twins. Jane or June had a keen eye for suitors who were mere thrill-seekers and "freak show" enthusiasts. Such people were quickly identified and excluded. The twins uniformly agreed on which dates to dump for that reason, although Jane was more critical of others than was June.
It took a while for their physical situation at work to be ignored. At first, many of the faculty and administration were solicitous with respect to Jane and June, sometimes to the point of being patronizing. But after a couple of years, the novelty wore off, once everyone's questions had been answered and all confusions were put to rest. At the beginning of the third school year, the director of the girl's athletics program, Nikki, openly bisexual, managed to arrange a surprise birthday party for June. Sensing neither betrayal of her sister nor jealousy that the party was not for "them" but for "her", Jane went along and kept June totally in the dark about the party. Nikki had had to text Jane, since that was the only practical way one could communicate privately with either twin. When the other teachers, administrators, and staff jumped out from behind desks and tables, June was delighted and completely surprised.
The twins' sense of individuality, stridently fought for during their adolescence, reached it zenith later that summer when Nikki organized a summer cruise of the Caribbean for several dozen gay and lesbian teachers. Jane and June were accustomed to paying for two movie theater tickets, two concert tickets, and so on, but neither objected when the cruise company graciously allowed them to cruise on a single ticket. The cruise was a learning experience for Jane. Her sense of what she liked to call "family values" had to be moderated that summer and, by the time the trip was over, Jane had reconsidered her outlook on the subject. On the cruise ship and while in various ports, Nikki and June had made love as often as they could, while Jane similarly entertained a small number of other cruise guests, one cabin attendant, and a local translator / itinerant tour guide boy she had picked up at the Havana port of call. By the end of the cruise, Jane had come to accept Nikki's infatuation with June and found their growing relationship romantic. June had always been the more shy of the two, so Jane was thrilled that her sister had developed a sincere and meaningful love life.
That following school year, one of June's brightest students had requested an Individualized Educational Program (IEP) through the counseling office at their high school. The boy had documentation confirming that he suffered from attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) but the school district had initially refused to grant the requested IEP. The boy's parents had hired a well known attorney, Nathan who, among other things, represented students with disabilities. As part of the legal process, Nathan had interviewed all of the boy's teachers, including June. Jane had expressed no opinion on the boy's legal situation, believing that it wasn't any of her business. But for obvious reasons, she was well aware of the boy's situation and was privy to all of the legal processes.
After the school district and the boy had reached an agreement, Nathan invited the twins for a cup of coffee. His interest was more than professional and his invitation was more than a courtesy. Nathan had been smitten the first time he saw Jane. Jane had suspected that was the case when he would question June during the interviews but had kept his visual interaction focused on Jane. Although it was common for Jane to flirt with any man who showed interest, she felt something special when Nathan talked to her. June could sense this in her sister and when she finally decided to broach the subject, she gave Jane an enthusiastic thumbs-up.
One would have thought that Jane, June, Nikki, and Nathan's first double date would have been awkward and embarrassing, but it wasn't. More than anything, it was fun. At the end of the evening, Nikki kissed June goodnight while Nathan kissed Jane. Although it was late and both were tired, the sisters stayed up all night laughing, joking, and discussing how wonderful the evening had been.
