Secrets Ch 32

32

I squirmed all afternoon. I felt obligated to inform Master of the lunchtime developments, but I also realized as I shared the details that it was not just an obligation -- I was excited for him to know. I knew that he'd be excited for what Jane was discovering, and he'd be amused by my deepening torment. He was also quite proud that the tease of the plug, secretly increasing my arousal and therefore my torment, was his own personal contribution to the events.

"How does this all make you feel?" he asked.

"It's exciting and nerve-wracking, Master," I answered.

"Are you prepared for this co-worker of yours to have a window into your new life?"

"I don't think I'd quite use the word 'prepared' for how I feel, but it is so powerful to see how much Jane is enjoying what she's doing, and what she's doing with me. I know it will be humiliating in the moment, and probably after, when I have to meet his eyes afterwards, but I think he'll also see how much that I'm under her control. I feel that when I'm under your control, Master... and it's the most incredible high for me."

"You are a natural submissive, my little fucktoy. I've been so happy to see this develop in you, and I'm very pleased that not only are you beginning to understand that, but so is your wife. She will see that being with you is not standing in the way of her happiness, but that it can facilitate her taking hold of the best of all possibilities."

"Thank you, Master," I said.

"I want you to complete a little homework for me this afternoon, slut."

"Yes, Master? What is it?"

"I want you to write a kind of letter or report. I want you to be honest and write down how it feels to be caged for this long. I want you to include how it feels to be wearing panties, and to know that you'll be wearing them from now on, as a reflection of how your position in your marriage has changed. I want you to write down how it feels to have your wife take such complete control of your sex life and your body, both right now, and going forward."

"Like a diary entry, Master?"

"I'd like you to think of it more like a thank-you note, slut."

"I do have a lot to thank you for, Master."

"The truth of that notwithstanding, fucktoy, this note will be sent to your wife."

"Oh god."

"You will send it to me first, before the end of the day, so that I may confirm that you are being complete and honest in your expression of your emotions. You don't have to talk about anything that she is not aware of -- you will notice I did not mention the plug -- but you will be thorough about all the rest, including any hopes or wishes that are inspired by how you feel."

"Yes, Master."

The words came slowly, and my mind agonized over each one. I felt that I had to be so careful, not just to avoid saying more than I should, but to keep things being stated in the framework of her pleasure and perspective. I didn't get a lot of my real work done, but in time I did manage to compose a collection of thoughts on the power of being kept chaste by my wife: what a powerful and teasing sensation it was for every moment, and of how it felt to know that I had no idea when I'd be allowed out of the device, if at all. I typed and deleted and retyped "if at all" so many times, as I wanted to be truthful, but I was worried about planting that thought in her mind if she had not yet had it. It remained in the final draft. I was honest about the tease and humiliation of being put in panties, and how I was afraid of being discovered wearing them at work, and how arousingly humiliating it was to hear her speak of what I deserved and how she was going to enforce it.

I even thanked her for coming in and flirting with Alex. That act, and her manufacturing an invitation to join us for lunch, had made the opening of our marriage, for her at least, to really hit home. She wasn't just going to tease me with the idea of other men, or the taste of them inside her, but she was going to make sure that I knew them, and that through her act of cuckolding me, she would change the way these men saw me. If I was to be face-to-face with a man who was satisfying my wife while fully knowing that I was not permitted to, it would feel like he could see right through the costume of my normal clothes, revealing the panties I was commanded to wear. I thank Jane for all these sensations and feelings, as well as continuing to allow me to use my mouth to provide her with pleasure.

I sent the full letter off to Master, for his review and approval, still hoping in some corner of my mind it was an exercise, and that his inbox was as far as it would go. It took barely a half hour for that fantasy to be dissolved. Master replied, praising me for my honesty, and insisted that I email the full text to Jane immediately. I was to send it from my normal personal email account, and to BCC Master on the email. I obeyed before I could think of reasons to be afraid to.

I kept checking my email, over and over, all afternoon, but no response came from Jane. Eventually and finally, the work day ended. With Master's permission, I removed the plug from my ass and put it all away to be neatly hidden away in a back corner of a desk drawer once more. I packed my things up, including the shopping bag full of new panties, and made my way home. I was very surprised to see Jane's car already in the driveway when I pulled in.

"Hi there, honey," she said upon hearing the door open. "I was so touched by your email that I wanted to come home early and be here when you got in."

"Oh wow. That's nice. So, you liked it?"

"I did. It was so amazing of you to be so open and to tell me how you were feeling. I know that hasn't been easy for you in the past -- probably not for either of us."

"That's very true," I confessed.

"I want you to keep being this open. I'm going to work at being receptive to it too. Now that I know how good my part in this can feel, I'm starting to get it."

"Okay. I will."

"So, you meant what you said about the chastity cage and the panties?"

"I did."

"That's good. Another reason I wanted to come home early was so that we could do something together."

"What's that?"

Jane pulled a white garbage bag out of a drawer and held it out to me.

"I want you to go upstairs and put all your old underwear in this bag. You can then refill the drawer with your new panties."

"Oh, okay. Of course."

"Do it now, sweetie."

There was just the start of a tone in her voice, which sent a shiver all through me. I grabbed the shopping bag and went upstairs. I shook open the plastic bag and proceeded to carefully fill it with the clean, folded underwear from my drawer. To be thorough, I even dug out the pairs from the laundry basket. Once the drawer was empty, I re-filled it with the new purchases, making a first attempt at sorting them by style.

When I was finished, I returned to her carrying the bag of all the old underwear. It felt like such a strange thing to do, but I saw her smiling as she lifted her eyes to me. I held out the bag to her but she made a gesture to decline it.

"Just tie a knot in the top of the bag," she said, then watched me as I did so. "Excellent. You can just take those to the garage and throw them in the trash. You won't be needing them anymore."

She just turned away and returned to what she was doing, dismissing me to follow her instructions. It seemed like such a big thing, but it took just a moment, to open the side door into the garage, lift the lid of the garbage bin, and drop the bag inside. Was it so simple to toss away this little bit of masculinity? I supposed that I knew the answer, especially when it was all being balanced with the sensations I'd been led to feel, and the emotional effect of how it had been to give in so totally to a life of submission. It seemed like such a short time ago that my kinky sexual fantasies had been just that -- fantasies and dreams -- but somehow I'd found myself in active and constant submission to not only an online Master, but to my own wife as well.

Back inside, things seemed to be normal. It took my mind a moment to switch gears, but Jane was interacting with me as she always did. We talked and joked and talked about people at work and our friends. Of course, while we were doing so, I was making dinner while she sat and watched, and I tried to anticipate her needs while keeping her wine glass full. We had a lovely meal together and then, as was the new normal, she retired to the living room while I cleaned up. When I was finished, I joined her and we watched a couple of our shows together.

I was about to start searching for the next episode to watch when Jane stopped me.

"Let's turn off the TV," she said. "There's something I'd like to try."

I obeyed with a click of the remote.

"What is it?" I asked.

"One thing at a time," she said. "Meet me upstairs and get out those toys we got. I want those cuffs, the blindfold, and I think that gag."

"Oh.... alright," I answered, then got up and started moving.

I almost took a step towards the basement before remembering that there were now toys in the house that weren't hidden away from her. "Our" toys were just in a box in the bedroom closet. I went back upstairs, shooting a glance at my dresser, as it felt a new tease to know it was stocked with panties now. I got out the toys and laid them out on the end of the bed.

"I want you to put on the blindfold," she said immediately upon entering. "And then I want you to strip down to just your panties."

I wanted so much to respond with "Yes, Mistress," but that wasn't something I was going to call her without discussing it with her first. Instead, I just fit the blindfold onto myself and blindly got undressed. It was strange, reaching for buttons without being able to see, knowing she was watching. Even in the blindfold's enforced darkness, I could imagine how I looked when I was down to just panties and the humblingly small bulge within them from my caged cock.

"I'm going to put these cuffs on you now. I'm new at this, so be patient," she said.

Despite that disclaimer, she seemed just fine at closing the padded cuffs around my ankles, buckling them snug and secure. She didn't link them together at all, so I wondered if she just wanted to see how they looked on me. My wrists were next, though those cuffs she did link together, using one of the locks provided to trap my wrists together behind my back.

"I like that," she said. "You look like quite the sexy little snack."

"Th.. thank you," I stammered.

It felt almost overwhelming to hear her speak of me that way. Was there desire in her voice?

I heard her moving or fiddling about with something, but she didn't say anything to me while she did so, so I just stood there and waited, feeling very much on display. It seemed so long that when she did finally speak it was almost startling to have the silence broken.

"I'm going to take off your blindfold now," she said. "I want to show you something I bought."

I shivered when she came close. She moved behind me to loosen the blindfold and lift it off my head, but she was back in front of me by the time I finished blinking away the darkness.

"Holy fuck," I moaned as I saw her.

She was standing before me, with pride and confidence, dressed in perhaps the sexiest set of lingerie she owned. They were an amazing composition of lace and straps, and they held and lifted and displayed her body perfectly. She was also wearing stockings and heels, but what stood out the most was the big black silicone cock between her legs. She was wearing a simply amazing looking leather strap-on harness, buckled snugly around her hips, with a dildo already fitted into it. It was shaped somewhat realistically but it was smooth, and it was gleaming -- already polished with lube.

"I'm going to assume that means you like how I look," she said.

I couldn't take my eyes off the thing, and it swayed and bobbed as she moved, strolling to the bed to pick up the ball gag.

"I do. You look incredible."

"Thank you. I want you to answer me one more question, before you wear this. You told me so many sexy things in your email, about things that you've liked and things that have excited you, including about just wearing panties, since you don't deserve men's underwear any more. Thinking about you dressed in those sissy little lacy thongs, with your cock locked up and denied, it made me think that someone in your position who doesn't get to fuck anymore should really be fucked instead. The very nice girl at the store helped me find just the thing for that. My question to you is this: Do you agree? Do you think that you should be fucked instead of fucking? Do you want me to fuck you, with this, right now?"

My heart was pounding so hard it was as if I could hear it. There was a buzzing in my ears.

"Yes. Yes. Yes, I agree that I don't deserve to fuck anymore. I agree that I should be fucked instead of fucking. I want you to fuck me, please. I want you to please fuck me with your strap-on cock, right now, please."

"I had a feeling you'd say that," she said.

She moved to me once more and lifted the ball gag to my mouth. I opened wide to accept it, and she secured it snugly -- so tight that I could feel the straps pushing into my cheeks, pulling the gag between my teeth.

She turned me around and pushed me up against the bed. My wrists, trapped behind me, were in the way at first, but she pushed me forward until I was up onto it, kneeling on the bed, with her up behind me. She bent me forward, tugged down the back of my panties, and edged my legs apart. I could feel her exploring, getting used to the feel of the dildo.

"She said to use a lot of lube," Jane said, and I moaned into the gag as she squeezed a very generous amount of the shockingly cool gel between my ass cheeks.

She pushed into me slowly, judging my reactions based upon the noises that escaped my full mouth. Those noises were moans and gasps, but they hardly did justice to the mind-bending mixture of sensations and emotions I was feeling. I'd been filled with a dildo before but not like this. I'd even taken a man's cock, but this was my wife. After so long of hiding anything near a desire for something like this from her, it was she who had chosen it. I knew it was for her, to satisfy her own desires, but she was also choosing it in response to where I had been taken. It wasn't just the sensation of the merciless, hard and thick toy driving so deep into me, it was also her physical confirmation that I wasn't a man to have sex with any more -- I was a submissive to fuck. My cock had nothing to do with what was happening, other than as a torment to me as it ached in its restraint and leaked with arousal.

I could hear her moans too, and they seemed to increase as I squeezed the dildo tight inside me. I wanted to please her even now, by giving her some physical resistance to push against, so that she could feel the base of the toy against her body. Knowing how she was dressed, I wished so badly that I could see her, but I could feel her against me. I could feel her hands on me, when she reached out to balance herself or to gain traction. I could smell her perfume, with the scent of her arousal mixing in as well.

I could feel the dildo driving so deep inside me. She had started slowly and steadily, but her pace increased over time. She moved her hips and tried out different positions, no doubt trying to maximize her own sensations, but it had the result of making her rubber cock dance inside me. I was gasping and leaking and drooling. There was so much going on that I almost didn't realize what was happening to my body. I became truly aware of the extent of my own arousal just minutes before I lost control of it. The sensations built up inside me, growing so steadily and undeniably, until it all came to a crest.

It was impossible for Jane not to notice. I moaned and gasped, and there were bubbles forming around the gag. My body grew tight, then spasmed repeatedly as I came. I could feel my cock so painfully straining as I finally came, and the warm cum oozed out of me.

Jane stopped, the dildo still buried deep inside me.

"Oh my god, you just came, didn't you?" she panted.

I couldn't speak, so I just nodded.

"You came from being fucked... from being fucked in the ass... Oh my god," she said. "Fuck, that's hot."

I could feel the dildo moving again, but it was different. She wasn't pumping it into me, she was fiddling with it, it seemed. When she started to roll me over, I realized that the motion had been her unbuckling the harness from her hips, so that she could move me without pulling the dildo out. Her fingers worked madly to free me from the ball gag and she rolled me onto my back and straddled me. She pushed her panties aside and drove her pussy against my mouth. She was soaked already, and her lips and pussy were flush and puffy with arousal. I gave her all that I could with my lips and tongue, but I felt more like something she wanted to grind against.

She came hard and fast. Her juices soaked me, and just just kept grinding against me, through multiple waves of orgasm. I felt light-headed, gasping for air, by the time she was finished and rolled herself off of me. She lay beside me and we together both caught our breath.

"You came," she said softly. "You came, just from me fucking you with the dildo. I wasn't expecting that. I didn't think that would happen."

"I... I did. I wasn't expecting it either. I knew it could happen, I guess. I mean, I've heard of it, from stimulating the prostate."

"How did it feel? Is it the same?"

"It felt amazing. It surprised me. It... it kind of built up inside me, like I had to go to the bathroom, and then it just hit me. It was different than normal... It was slower, and kind of more intense on the edge of it."

"But you couldn't even get hard. Could you?"

"No. I mean, I was straining in the cage, and I could feel the ache of that, but there's no way it would let me get really hard."

"Mmm, I want to see."

I was still cuffed, with my arms trapped beneath my back, so all I could do was lay there as she rolled onto her side and tugged the front of my panties down.

"Oh, you nasty slut," she teased. "You came right inside your pretty panties. They're sticking to you."

I blushed, feeling her fingers on me, touching me though the cage and her fingernails feeling so sharp and hard on my balls. I could sense the load of my cum between her fingertips and my skin.

"Is it okay? Is it okay that I came?" I asked.

"Oh yes, of course it's okay. I think it's hilarious. I mean, I thought when we locked that thing on you that you'd be begging to cum within days because it would be impossible. But now we know this! I don't even have to let you out to get you to come!"

I could hear in her voice that she was filled with wicked glee at that, and the words "if ever" were back in the forefront of my thoughts.

"How was the strap-on?" I asked, changing the subject.

"Oh, that was so fun! I mean, it was so funny to have this cock waving about. I kind of just wanted to play with it!" she giggled. "The harness thing fit really well, once I got it adjusted right, and I could really feel the pressure of the base of the dildo against my pussy. Were you kind of pushing back?"

"I was a bit, at times. I was hoping you'd feel that."

"I did! It felt so hot. It wasn't quite enough to get me all the way there, but I think I was pretty soaked by the end."

"You were," I said, smiling.

"Do you like that?" she asked. "When I am that wet?"

"I do. I really do. I... I'm finding that I really love going down on you. I like the feel and the taste of you on me."

"I kind of did make a bit of a splash, didn't I?" she laughed.

"You did. Thank you."

"You are very welcome," she said, then started to stand up.