Secrets Ch 16

16

I realized, as I drove home from work, that I was nervous about seeing my wife. I hadn't seen her or spoken to her since she'd slipped away to work after I ate her pussy. She'd been somewhere in my thoughts during the day, but thanks to the toys and tasks assigned by Master, my focus had seemed to be more on other men than on her.

I arrived home, beating her there as per usual. It still felt dangerous to be plugged and caged at home but, even though Master hadn't specifically mentioned it today, I had this feeling it was going to be a good assumption that he'd want me wearing them for at least that hour at home. I made sure the house was spotless and tidy, and then got to fixing dinner. I was able to put together something nice and still be able to spend my hour in them before Jame got home. The table was set and the food was ready by the time she arrived.

"You know, I could really get used to this. You've been spoiling me all week," she said she tucked herself in and I poured her a glass of wine.

"I'm glad you like it. I've been enjoying it too, to be honest."

"What inspired all this?" she asked. "It seems like there's been a whole different routine since I got back from the girls' weekend. The cleaning, the cooking... not to mention your other offer."

I froze for a moment as I hadn't quite been ready for such a frank question. I took a sip of my own glass of wine to give myself a moment to think.

"It's true. I have been trying to be different this week. With you away, I had time to think, I guess. I was afraid that things had gotten into a bit of a rut, and that we were just doing the same things each day, and sometimes that meant that I didn't feel like I was doing enough to show you that I love you."

"That's very sweet," she said.

"I mean it. I don't want to be one of those husbands who only does the stuff on the list that he waits for his wife to make. I know you like the house clean, that it makes you feel better when things are tidy. I know that often I just didn't do as much to keep it up because I didn't feel the same way, but it just sort of clicked for me that I want to be more about making you happy. Not just me, you know?"

"I really appreciate that," she said with a smile.

"Is that the same feeling behind your offer?"

"Yes," I blushed. "I know we don't talk about it much, or maybe at all. We have kind of stumbled, I think, in our sex life. I take the blame, as I know I've had my issues and interests, and you've tried to play along when you could. But I realized that if I focused on you instead of me, it kind of meant that you've not gotten the attention I think you deserve and that I think you probably wanted. I like going down on you and I thought that if you knew that you could have that from me, whenever you wanted, that you might like that. But you wouldn't know that unless I told you."

"And the part about it being kind of one-sided?"

"I didn't want you to think I was trying to angle into getting blow jobs, to start," I started, feeling my face warm up. Even now, I was nervous to talk about anything that got too close to my personal kinks, given how often they'd been the triggers for fights and hurt feelings between us. "I like doing it, and there's a part of that kind of offer, knowing it was something for you, serving you that way... well that works for me all on its own. You know?"

"I guess I can see that," she answered. "It's the kind of thing that a more submissive man would like."

It made me nervous when she used that word. It had been so hard to tell her, years ago, about being submissive in the kinky or sexual sense, but I'd had to give some explanation for the images she'd found hidden on my laptop.

"Yes."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course," I said.

"Does wanting to go down on me, and not necessarily wanting anything in return -- no oral sex, not seeing it as foreplay... does that mean you don't want to have sex with me? That you don't want to fuck me?"

"No, no, it doesn't mean that at all," I rushed to answer. "This is sort of something different, or separate from that. I wanted you to know, with that offer, that you could just have that pleasure whenever you wanted, when it was maybe all that you wanted, without any other complication. Like, even if you were just watching TV or reading or something."

"Okay, but I want you to be honest with me," she said, looking at me intently. "Because over the years I think I've come to some kind of understanding about the things you like. You want to give me that pleasure, whenever I want it, with no reciprocation needed, for me... but doesn't it also work for you that I would want that and nothing more?"

"I'm... I'm not sure what you mean."

"Let me put it like this. If you were going down on me, and I got turned on and I wanted us to have sex, you'd like that, I'm guessing, but if you were going down on me and I was hot and turned on but then I told you that was all that I wanted from you, and that definitely weren't going to get to fuck me, that kind of works a bit better for your kinky side, right?"

"I... I guess so," I stammered. "Yes, you saying that would definitely make me feel submissive, put in my place, and that does work for me in a kinky sense. But I'm not asking you to do that or say that. I'm not asking you to say anything you don't want to, or act any way you don't feel. I'm not trying to trick you into dominating me."

"I don't really think you are, but I just want to try to understand," she said in a tone that sounded reassuring, but was also tinged with a softer sense of something else. "It's just that sometimes, to be honest, it would feel good to feel desired like that. Wanted."

"I do want you. I do desire you. You're so sexy," I rushed to say.

"I know you do. I know you love me. I know too that you are who you are, and the best way I can think to say it is that I think the way you feel desire for me makes you want to please me, attend to me, even worship my body sometimes. I love you and that's who you are, as much as I am who I am. But if I can be honest, sometimes my own kinks, if you want to call it that, would be to be wanted the other way."

"I'm sorry," I said softly.

"It's okay. I don't want you to be sorry. I really like that we're actually talking about this. Being honest and open. Like you said, I think it's been so long and so hard to talk about that we just don't. I think talking about it is better. It helps us understand each other."

"I think so too," I confessed.

"If it's okay with you, I'd like to pause on this now. I understand more of where you're coming from, but I just need time to think about it. Is that okay?"

"Of course it is," I answered.

We finished up our dinner and I offered to clean up afterwards. She insisted on helping some, which was mostly just carrying her own plate back to the kitchen, but then she let me send her to the living room with a fresh glass of wine. Once I was finished, I joined her and we watched a bit of TV together.

We were relaxed and calm, both of us lost in a bit of thought, but not saying anything new for now. After one rather longer period of quiet, I turned to her as some commercial started, checking if she was starting to get tired. I found her looking back at me.

"Hand me the remote, okay?" she said, which was a change, as she normally liked to have me operate the television.

I handed it over and waited.

"I want it now," she said. "I want your mouth on me. I'm not going to move from right here. I don't want you to say anything. I just want you to make me cum."

I nodded without speaking and slid down to the floor. I positioned myself between her legs, kneeling with my back to the television, and got my hands and head under the long skirt she was still wearing from work. I slid her panties down her legs and off. She spread her legs enough to give me access, but other than that she didn't move at all.

I threw myself into pleasuring her, kissing and licking and lapping at her, and I heard her raise the volume on the TV in response. From what I could hear, it sounded perhaps like The Bachelorette, but I kept my focus where it was supposed to be. I attended to her with a slower, more measured pace than I had in the morning. She grew wet quite quickly, but I could sense that she was in no hurry to reach orgasm. I just let my tongue play over her and inside her, letting her pleasure build gradually but steadily. The more aroused she got, the louder the TV volume was raised. I could hear the paced details of the rose ceremony when she finally came, soaking my lips and chin so deliciously. She rode my tongue through the waves of her pleasure. With a final shudder, she was done, and she stood up, leaving her panties discarded at my knees.

"I'm going to bed but I wanted you to know that I think I've decided something, at least for now. I'm going to accept your offer of going down on me whenever I want but since you want that the most, that's all you're going to get. I'm going to let you make me cum, when I choose, but only your mouth is going anywhere near my pussy for now. Understood?"

"Yes, I understand," I said, looking up at her from the floor with her juices on my lips. 'Thank you."

"You're welcome," she said, shaking her head.

She walked off, up to bed, and I got up and sat on the couch to take it all in. My cock was rock hard, from her taste and her words. Once my legs felt stead, I got up and went to the kitchen to get a drink. After a while, I peeked upstairs to see that our bedroom light was off and that she'd gone to sleep, and then I finally logged into the app again, to check in with Master.

There was a message waiting for me.

"Get into stockings, panties, a bra and your little schoolgirl skirt. Lock up your little sissy clit and get a nice big dildo lubricated and ready. I want to hear about your day, so let me know when you're prepared and ready for a call."

I rushed downstairs, stripped and got into uniform. Once I was locked up and prepared as instructed, I sent a quick confirmation. Almost immediately my phone chimed. I put on my headphones so I could talk hands-free, then answered.

"Hello, Master," I said in my best soft, feminine voice."

He had me place the dildo on a chair and have me mount it, so that I could slowly fuck myself as we talked. As he questioned me and prompted me, I ran him through the events of my rather full day. He was very happy to hear that I'd found another new man to flirt with, but he was thrilled to hear that Jane had accepted the oral sex proposal. He seemed so pleased that I'd been able to articulate my thoughts about it all, during the conversation she and I had shared.

"I'm very proud of you, fuckdoll. I'm sure it wasn't easy, but if you can be honest with how you feel while keeping your focus on pleasing her, I'm sure good things are ahead for you. For you both."

It was humiliating to have to expose all these intimate details of our marriage, and to have to do it all while dressed as a sissy slut, riding a dildo and speaking in soft sissy whispers, but it was the kind of humiliation that made me ache, and he knew it.

"She said that she is going to try this, Master, but while she does, oral sex is the only sex I will get from her," I confessed.

"Oh that is perfect, slut. I know you like your cock locked up and kept out of trouble," he teased. "Between your online fans and the men you're meeting in person, you'll get lots of sex. I do wonder about poor Jane though."

"Poor Jane, Master?"

"Yes, my little sissy bitch. A woman like her, feeling her own arousal, has need of a man to fuck her. She seems to have admitted as much when you two talked. She wants to be fucked," he said. "Now she's come out and said that that need isn't going to be met by you. Maybe she has a few toys of her own hidden away, or maybe she's thinking about another man."

"Oh god," I moaned, tormented by his words as I rode the dildo, up and down, not-stop.

"How would you feel, sissy, if your wife took a lover?"

"It would be... it would be humiliating or embarrassing, I guess, if she did it because she needed another man to fuck her. I guess I can't really complain though."

"Why is that, fucktoy?"

"Because I guess I'm being with other men, Master."

"That's right, slut. You're not guessing, and you're not 'being' with them. You're fucking your mouth and ass with toys to please men as they jerk off, and you're going out to suck cock during your lunch hour."

I moaned, blushing.

"Yes, Master," I acknowledged.

"Now, it's getting late. Tomorrow is Friday. Does that mean you're working from home?"

"Yes, Master."

"Excellent. I'll let you know in the morning how I expect you to dress. In the mean time, spend another 20 minutes fucking your dildo for me, riding it like you are. I want you to make a video of it, the whole time, and I want to hear your little sissy voice saying, over and over, that you love your Master and that you belong to your Master."

"Yes, Master. I will."

"Good slut," he said. "Enjoy and I'll see you tomorrow."

I set up the phone to record myself, then mounted the dildo and began to ride it. I repeated my mantra, over and over, in the soft, high voice I'd been practicing. I was saying it to the recording, to be sure, but I also felt it sink in a little deeper with each repetition. The twenty minutes went by quickly, perhaps because it felt like I sank into a daze during the time. When my alarm went off, I slowly dismounted it, feeling stretched and used and slutty. My caged cock was throbbing and leaking.

I got everything cleaned up and put away afterwards. I had to be very careful in removing my cage, as my needy cock seemed to spring to life as soon as it was free, like it was begging to be stroked. I'd been surrounded by the orgasms of others while being denied them myself. I wasn't about to jerk off without being told to, but I made a mental note to talk about it with Master the next day.

It felt very late by the time I finally slid quietly into bed next to Jane. I lay there in the darkness for a while, listening to her breathe. I felt like I could almost still taste her on my tongue, but if I thought about it, I could similarly taste the cum from that man in the gentlemen's club. I had knelt so much in the recent days, and I was feeling very submissive and controlled. I felt myself rubbing my thumb over the underside of my wedding ring but, in truth, I felt a bit more owned by Master than I did by Jane. Eventually sleep silenced my thoughts.

Interlude

Jane was feeling quite satisfied. It had been a long time since she'd had such a sexual day. Her husband had gone down on her twice, to start and end a day that had also been filled with thoughts of sexual fantasies. That those fantasies had included David only as an observer gave her a lot to think about.

She enjoyed the feeling of his mouth on her, and she could feel his enthusiasm for the task. Even so, she couldn't help feeling something like resentment. It wasn't quite anger, but when she thought about what he had asked for, her gut reaction was that he needed to be punished for it, even if she agreed.

She had felt that urge behind her decision to allow him only oral sex. If he didn't want to fuck her enough to even ask for it, then perhaps he didn't deserve to. She knew that her reaction had been fuelled by her recent thoughts and fantasies. She'd allowed herself to think about herself as someone who was perhaps just a wife or just an office worker, rather than a sexy, desirable woman who deserved to have men wanting her.

Maybe it was just fantasy, but she could and had now imagined being wanted by other men -- men like Theo and Mark. Somewhere, in the depths of her mind, she'd made the decision that it wasn't going to remain just a fantasy. She could hear Jenn's voice cheering her on as she began to make a plan to be with at least one of them. She wasn't going to be marrying them or even dating them, she imagined, so perhaps she would have them both. She liked that thought, but even more, she liked the thought of them having her.

David on his knees begging to taste her was sexy, in its own way, but it was also somehow weak. She wanted strength -- maybe not to replace that submissiveness, but to add to it. She smiled in the darkness, wondering if there could perhaps be any better way for her to get what she wanted while also feeding her husband's desire to feel submissive than to truly take a lover and cuckold him. She wondered if, like in her improvised fantasies, knowing he was being replaced in her bed would actually please him. More importantly perhaps, she started to really think about if it would please her. The more she thought about it -- having her husband see that another man wanted to fuck her fully and completely -- the more she knew she would. Her pussy was getting warm again, just imagining it. She closed her eyes and hoped for dreams.