After the sordid weekend with Natasha's mother, the only time I saw my new fiancée in the following fortnight was in a Buckinghamshire park, a few days after our hotel orgy. My ex contacted us to discuss the court ruling and, as my lover was in High Wycombe the day after, we met Samantha after lunch on a dreary December afternoon.
The meeting was frosty and unwelcoming. Natasha tapped her fingernails on the picnic bench as she stared at my ex-girlfriend, sat beside her companion. I recognised the well-built woman, but I couldn't remember her name. I was never good at recalling Samantha's long-list of friends. "Well?"
"I just can't afford it," Samantha wailed. "I am sorry. Please? Don't do this to me."
"If you cannot pay, then we'll apply to the court, who will put an attachment on your future earnings. We can also seek a bailiff to recover the outstanding monies, and a CCJ remains on your credit file for six years after you clear the debt," I replied, having memorised the law. "Non-payment has a serious implication on your life and..."
Samantha squealed again. "Mummy and Daddy won't loan me the money. I can't pay you and you don't need it. Please?"
Natasha and I made eye contact; we had discussed this eventuality in the previous days and we were prepared for her pleading. My fiancée pointed to my ex-girlfriend's associate and then at me. "You two, fuck off while me and the fucking slut sort this shit out." Samantha gulped as I got up from my seat. Her companion argued and only left the bench once the punk rocker threatened them both.
"So, how much money did you make this year?" Samantha's friend asked me as we strode away from the two negotiating women.
"After tax, just under three hundred thousand, plus another seventy in bonuses."
"And you are ruining Sam's life over ten grand?" She spat. "You're disgusting."
I sighed and gestured towards a coffee van in the park. "I never cared about the money. Sam cheated on me, and we split up. Her choice, not mine."
"Best thing she ever did," her friend snapped. "She's seen your true colours now."
"And I kept her stuff safe in the spare room for six months. When she came to collect it, she fought with my new girlfriend and made unfounded claims against me in a court of law that could have had serious implications for my employment. You just can't treat people like that. I was happy to ignore the money as part of a failed relationship, and move on, but she wanted to get nasty. And that has come and bitten her on the arse. She should learn from it. Do you want a coffee?"
"You won't sue me for the cost of it?" She spat, scowling at me. When I didn't respond to her childish outburst, she surveyed the menu. "OK, caramel latte, please."
The woman mellowed with a hot cup of Java in her hand, and I learnt Samantha was sleeping on a sofa bed with a mutual acquaintance and had recently left a part-time job in a solicitor's office. She hated her employment at a fast-food restaurant and struggled with the reality of her restrained circumstances.
We ambled back to the park bench, each holding two coffees; I passed Natasha her drink as Samantha gestured angrily at my fiancée over a four-page document. "What is it?" Her friend asked, concerned.
"This. This is vile. She's a pervert. A freak. An absolute monster. I can't do this." She looked at me. "Have you seen this? And are you happy with this? What's wrong with you?"
"If you do the two things listed in that fucking contract, on the dates specified, we'll inform the court before the 28 days has elapsed that you have satisfied the payment required of you," Natasha repeated, reading, almost verbatim, the first line of the document. "This means that no CCJ will go on your credit file. Alternatively, you can have that black mark on your record and we can enforce the judgement."
"What's she gotta do?" Her friend asked once more.
"I've got to get two tattoos on my body in permanent ink."
"Yes, Maddison's family owns a tattoo parlour in East London. They will do it for free on Friday at 2pm. Don't be fucking late," Natasha replied, and her friend's face whitened when she read the clause in the contract that detailed the stipulation.
"And the other thing," Samantha added, her voice seething with resentment. "Is that I have to be their sex slave for six hours on the 21st!"
"That's... illegal." Her friend cried.
I shook my head and addressed my ex. "No. This is a contract to provide particular services that may include sexual activity. It's not against the law as escorts do it all the time. This is your choice."
"You could hang around Paddington late at night offering blowjobs for twenty quid and make ten grand to pay us off!" Natasha snapped. "We're fucking helping you. An offer to get your debt paid in one afternoon and move on. You can do it willingly and go in with your eyes open, or raise your cash another way. As your sexy ex said, it's your fucking choice."
Her friend's face whitened further as she read the description of the duties the band required my former lover to perform to pay off her debt. "This is insane."
"Yes," my fiancée replied proudly and put a pen on top of the document. "And it's up to Samantha. This is a onetime opportunity. We don't need to do this. I wanted to chase you for the ten grand you owe us, but John is a soft touch and made me come up with a way out for you. So we will have a party and you can be the entertainment. I'm offering you crazy money for six hours work, but you could go into Christmas with a clean slate. Or not. I fucking win whatever you fucking do!" We gave the two women a few minutes to think about our proposal as we took a walk around the West London park, drinking our coffees.
A couple of teenage boys ran up to Natasha to ask for an autograph as we ambled through the splash of greenery amongst the urban sprawl. My fiancée seemed a little overwhelmed at their exuberance.
My ex and her friend scowled as we approached. "I've signed your blackmail," my former lover hissed, and I looked at the signatures of Samantha Roberts and Gina Mason scrawled across the final page of the contract. "Just one condition."