Waiting. These long periods of idle waiting really do get on my nerves. There is simply nothing going on then, not a single thing at all. I am just standing around, doing nothing but to wait all the time. And it is not just for a couple of hours, sometimes I have to wait for days, even weeks before something happens. I keep wondering how spiders can cope with this situation, sitting in their webs, motionless, waiting for the prey. Waiting.
My brother stands right next to me, and there are other guys around, too. But of course we can't talk; on the watch, all the time, always waiting for our prey to appear.
And then it happens: First we only feel that a change is coming, you don't know who's going to be the lucky one, hoping all the time that finally this time it will be you, that once again after all this endless waiting you will be selected, and this growing sensation seams to go on for ages, and still you feel it coming nearer and nearer.
Most often it just passes, nothing happens at all, it just goes away, the sensation dies slowly. And you know, it is going to be a long, long time before something like that is happening again.
But occasionally you just feel it stopping, sometimes even quite close. Then it's going to happen to some other guy this time. You envy him, try to imagine what's happening there, wish you could be there, in his place. You start to think about your last time, dream about the next time -- and then you suddenly know that it's over, the strange sensation gone, the whole affair is over. Someone definitely has had some fun at least.
And then, once in a while, you hit the jackpot: The sensation rises to unbelievable levels, you can't imagine how great this feeling is.
And then the roller-coaster ride begins, you feel how you and your brother are being tossed around, feel how it picks you up, feel the crash on the ground, and brace yourself for what's coming next.
So hard to describe, how it just slips into you, suddenly fills you from head to toe, starts moving inside of you, stretches and wriggles around, and you feel how you are being fixed to its body, the straps are being tied fast.
It is very important to remain calm during these moments, even though you feel yourself bursting with excitement. But it must not realize what is going on, it is too early, it still can detach from you, and this hurts, it really does.