Authors Note: This is a chapter in this series primarily based in BDSM practises. If that is not to your tastes please stop reading and find one of the other wonderful stories on this site more suited to your kink. Thank you once again to everyone who leaves comments and feedback on my writing, it is much appreciated. ~ellie
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Bella had been beyond busy for the rest of the week. She and Andrew took over some space on the lower floor of the company and put together a workshop in which Louise could begin work until they decided on a location for their first store. In the evenings, she worked with Nyx or Steven on the speech and body language she would be required to have in her training with Master Mike in the following weeks. In the small amount of time, she had to herself she made decisions about the furniture in Mel's apartment and asked Stephen for his help in locating particular items and removing others.
Once she had decided on the beautiful antique bed from the storage facility, Bella found it easy to continue the theme throughout the apartment's décor. By Friday, she had labelled all the furniture to be removed and had ordered several pieces that would get delivered while she was away. Once she had made the larger decisions Stephen took control of the logistics reassuring her that he was more than happy to do so.
She had begun to accept what the others had said about Stephen's intentions toward her and enjoy the time he spent with her letting her see the softer caring side of his personality. She still found it hard to know exactly what he expected of her, but she relaxed more in his company and took on his offered tutelage to enhance her understanding of the Gorean Lifestyle. He showed her affection and his tender kisses still made her knees weak, and she found herself wishing for more. No matter how sexy her service was to him during their tutelage sessions he showed no inkling of wanting to take things further than just the occasional kiss. Every time she thought she had moved him in some way he still addressed her in his usual self-controlled manner.
His manner both frustrated and confused her, but she kept the words of her friends in her mind. Stephen wanted more than just a playdate. He wanted her commitment, her acceptance of him as a Master, and she couldn't do that until the training schedule that had been set out was complete. Until then, they seemed to be locked in this oddly intimate dance in which they acknowledged their feelings and attraction but never truly acted on them. Stephen had been honest with her about his intentions, but Bella had not told him about her feelings yet. The truth was; he still confused her.
The fact that she had not voiced her growing feelings for him as he had done for her hit her like a slap in the face as she lay in bed on Saturday morning. She realised that she had never done more than thank him for his constant care and protectiveness. Bella was stunned that she had pushed him, because of her confusion to announce his intentions and had given nothing no indication of her thoughts regarding him in return.
As always when she felt a pang of guilt she turned introspective and cursed herself for being a brat. She had expected him to show his hand completely while keeping hers close to her chest. Taking a deep breath, she examined her feelings carefully. He was a harsh and uncompromising man, but he was also good and kind in ways she had not expected. His expectations of her were high, but he also accepted that she did not have the skills or background to understand all of those expectations. He helped her, tutored her, corrected her, cared for her and protected her. She knew now that he didn't just do this out of obligation or duty. He did it because he cared deeply for her and held her to a higher standard than the other girls at the club that he cared for out of obligation and duty alone.
She wondered at the amount of time he spent with her and how he was managing his role within the club. She knew that the girls relied heavily on him to protect them, and she wondered if the man who took his place when he wasn't there was as protective of them as he was. She somehow imagined that Stephen would have hand-picked a like-minded man to be a manager in his absence and she knew Jake would have taken some of the responsibility Stephen held in his absence.
Bella smiled thinking of Jake. Unlike Stephen, he was very easy to read. He was more relaxed and easy to be around. He too had made it clear that he cared about Bella but had left it at that seemingly happy to sit back and allow her the time and space she needed to get her life back together. It seemed strange to her that she knew Jake more intimately on a physical level than Stephen. He had been part of that crazy night in the Kava Lodge, yet she did not have the same feelings for him that she had for Stephen.
She also knew Sire and Hunter more intimately than Stephen and yet for all her time with them she had not felt the intimacy that she felt from Stephen's hand holding and tender kisses. She laughed as she realised she had become a player. She had sex purely for the endorphins, the joy the twin mix that pain and pleasure gave her, not for the intimacy of being with another person. She remembered Mel and the tender aftercare he gave her that gave them both the intimacy their sex lacked. It was something Hunter lacked entirely, and Sire did not dwell upon, in his self-appointed role of teacher.
Climbing from the bed, she grabbed some clothes and headed for the shower still smiling. What she needed to do was reciprocate those small acts of intimacy and Stephen would know how she felt without her having to voice it. She laughed again as she stood under the water. It was always the women in magazine columns and talkback shows who accused men of not showing any commitment or intimacy. Here she was the one to shy away from it when Stephen showed his intentions toward her every day.
Master Mike and Nyx were spending the weekend preparing for a caravan that they wold take her on during the following week. Nyx had been very forthcoming with the things that would happen there. She had taught her several services of particular drinks and food to practise along with two dances that would highlight her needs to the potential Masters that would be present. Nervous about the many protocols expected in this lifestyle Bella had planned to practise most of the weekend with Stephen spending some time with her in the afternoon before she went to dinner with her parents.
She had almost forgotten that she had planned to invite her parents to the city this weekend to see a show. Luckily as always Stephen had put everything in place for her, including inviting himself along to a dinner at a wonderful restaurant he had chosen. He was become a key figure in every aspect of her life rather than the looming dark presence she had always known to be looking over her shoulder since Mel's death. Even in her work, though he maintained he would never influence her decision-making there, he had found her their first artisan and his brother would make some exquisite one-off pieces from them. She was looking forward to dinner. It seemed to have been forever since she had seen her parents, and she missed them, and acknowledged that her father enjoyed Stephen's company.
Bella spent the morning going over the slave positions and walked around the small apartment in the diaphanous piece of silky fabric she knew would be her only form of clothing during the two weeks ahead. Nyx had told her the once she would be required to know the protocols well, and she was determined to not embarrass her or Master Mike. Bella had committed as many as she could to memory, and while they may not all be perfectly executed, she would at least not be at a total loss if commanded to a particular position.
She had read the books and studied diligently, but it was such a strange lifestyle that she didn't feel even close to ready to join it. She knew that the reality was never going to be like the books and online forums but still she worried and went through the paces of the dances she had painstakingly prepared with Nyx. Firstly that of the new slave, a dance of submission and secondly the dance of beauty that would show her desirability to all of the Masters present.
Taking a break just before lunch she decided to go over her plans for Mel's apartment one last time. Pulling a light coat over the silk she wore she grabbed her keys and went across to the other side of the floor. She reminded herself once again that she should stop calling it Mel's apartment but in the state it was in, she couldn't help herself to remember. Maybe when there was new furniture she would feel different about it.
