I love my dog Shep, but he has his moments. Like most canines, he feels the need to make alot of noise whenever strangers approach our home. I suppose he still has the instincts of a dog bred in more primitive societies, when guarding the master's property or at least acting like a living alarm system would've been useful. Still, when you're woken up a half hour earlier than usual on a school morning by deep and insistent barks, you can have difficulty appreciating that. That's exactly what happened one morning when Mom was away at a conference. I was quite rudely awakened by my canine friend, who sounded like he was sitting just on the other side of my bedroom door. "Shut up, Shep!" I groaned. At this point, it was a game of attrition between me and my sisters to see who could tolerate it longest without getting up to silence the mutt, thus allowing the other two to sleap peacefully for a while longer. I eventually groaned again and pulled myself out of bed with a roll of my eyes. Sure enough, he was waiting right in front of me when I opened my door, but I apparently had not lost the contest by much, since both Lina and Kala opened their own doors just a second or two after I did.
Wagging his tail incessantly, Shep immediately led us three groggy and annoyed girls down the stairs and to the front door, where he sat and whined briefly. I lazily took the lavendar bathrobe that Mom kept hanging on the coat rack for occasions such as this, slipped it over my bare body, and opened the door. I sighed as I just barely caught a UPS truck taking off from our house, having left a medium-sized package on our doorstep. Slowly becoming more awake, I let Lina close the door while I carried it into the kitchen and set it on the countertop where I knew Mom would find it. I then shed the robe and tossed it to Kala so that she could put it back into place. By this time, the spell of sleep had waned just enough that it was no use going back to bed, especially since we would only get a pitiful 25 minutes of additional slumber. Groaning almost in unison, we agreed wordlessly that we may as well fix ourselves breakfast while we were there.
Within a minute, we had all procured our orange juice and cereal of choice and gathered lazily in our cozy family dining room. I had just begun to sit down when my usual morning urges struck, so I put my palms on the table to support myself with half-bent knees and immediately started to pee profusely on my seat, the pale yellow torrent hissing audibly while it drenched the cushion. Purring in relief as the pressure in my bladder deflated, I simultaneously let my butthole spread open as a large turd peeked out between my cheeks. Despite its considerable thickness, it pressed itself smoothly out of my butt and coiled on the chair. No sooner had it tapered off and fell away than a second warm mass, even larger than the first, crowned between my glutes and slid out like a thick sausage from a meat processor, eliciting a gasp as its girth peaked towards the end.
We ate in amicable silence and finished in about five minutes. We then went back upstairs to our bedrooms. Since we had gotten up early, we killed some time before showering by checking our e-mail and Facebook feeds. Not long into it, Kala rushed into my room and insisted that I watch a cute video of a stray kitten her boyfriend had rescued the night before, which I have to admit was adorable. In the middle of relaying how her beau had found the little feline, she sat down on my bed without pausing her tale and let a giant puddle form around her thighs and privates, sighing in relief after soaking the mattress for almost a minute.
Soon after, we showered, got dressed, and departed to pick up Beth, whose family was still trying to survive on a single working bathroom.
I'm not sure how much she usually releases from either bodily tract, but it seems that when she's desperate at least, she can rival our capacities. She had her white capri jeans unbuttoned and unzipped before the door to the back seat was even fully closed, and she quite predictably started peeing a flood onto her seat as soon as she got her panties out of the way, gripping the headrest in front of her while she hovered her round butt above the cushion. "Ah, so much better!" she moaned with half-lidded eyes as she peed like a racehorse. She hadn't been peeing for long before her butt flexed visibly, and she promptly began taking a dump as well. A dark brown log almost an inch thick crawled out of her body and curled on the seat. It was long enough that we were amazed when a second one immediately swelled between her cheeks and slid out on top of the first, forming a huge ash-brown pile. "Geez, Beth! And we thought we were the ones with bowels of steel!" I said with a laugh as her mess began to dissolve as quickly as she had pushed it out.