I've been in a lot of bad relationships. I've been with a lot of women who went out of their way to emasculate me at every turn. I generally just took it too; allowing the hurt and regret to build up over time until the sum total destroyed whatever good there once might have been. I've never felt comfortable being vulnerable before, because I know that the sort of women I dated would use it to their advantage some point down the line. I never felt comfortable until now.
Sarah is trust to me. She is the living embodiment of everything a woman should be. Kind and nurturing and warm, but still with a streak of strong independence that never gives in. Sarah is her own woman, and gives herself completely only when she chooses to do so. I am a lucky man to have been the subject of that choice, because it gives me things I didn't know I even need.
I am laying on the bed when Sarah comes and sits beside me. I am laying face down, my arms folded under my head. I feel her soothing hands on my back, gently caressing my skin. Goosebumps raise along the lines of her stroke, I am eased and comforted by her loving grace. Her hands work with more pressure, easing the knots out of my tired muscles and nurturing my soul at the same time. I feel completed by her touch, in a way I never felt before. She gently massages my back, working her fingers sinuously and carefully. She rubs upwards on my sides, healing my aches as she goes. My body relaxes completely and I feel safe and warm under her touch.
I hear the bottle of oil click open and tense slightly, waiting to feel the warm oil on my skin. She dribbles a line down my back and starts rubbing it into me, her hands sliding with easy pressure across me. The baby oil smell sweet and innocent somehow, it makes me feel at ease as she oils up my skin and massages out my tension. I am calmed by her touch, soothed by the oil. Her hands slide lower and she spills out more oil, this time between my ass cheeks, it is slippery and drips down along my skin. Sarah starts to massage my ass slowly, giving me time to acclimate. This was a part of my body I never wanted touched before, but now the sense of trust I feel with Sarah makes me want to drop old barriers and hangups. I want to feel everything with her.
I tense slightly at first, feeling nervous about her touch. Her hands are gentle and yet still firm. She is confident in her touch, showing me wordlessly that it's okay to enjoy what she is doing. I feel her fingers slide briefly between my cheeks, she knows I want this but I need to take time, my fears linger still even though my desire burns so strongly. I close my eyes and allow her to work on me; her hands slide along my thighs and tease my balls. She slips one finger between my cheeks and calmly massages oil against my ass. I shudder with the combination of nervousness and excitement. Her touch is gentle and feels good, I feel my shame dissolve as she slowly relaxes me.
"It's okay baby. I love you, just relax and enjoy it. It's alright to enjoy this." Her voice is lyrical and soothing, she makes me give over my fears with her gentle confidence. I am filled with the anticipation of these new sensations. I have never done any thing like this before, I am so excited to let myself be pleasured in this way. I feel more oil pour out onto me and she spreads my ass softly to let it drip down. Her finger moves with more pressure now, just slightly penetrating me. I hear her soothing tones as she slips the finger into me. I am filled with confused feelings, lust and fear all bundled into one. I fear she won't respect me after this, but I have to know. I feel dirty and exposed and vulnerable, but feeling that way with Sarah makes it okay, thrilling even. I feel like I can do anything with her.
