When I was single, I was friends with a woman who was pregnant, but unmarried. Sherry and I used to have lunch and talk and go to movies together. Although I found her attractive in a maternal way, I never really thought about her romantically. She was attractive enough, though not a raving beauty. She was short and a little heavy, with wavy red hair, about shoulder-length. She dressed conservatively and seemed to really value our friendship.
I always felt she treated me like one of her girlfriends. She confided in me about the failed relationship that led to her pregnancy. We talked about everything. But rarely did our chats stray into the area of sex. I assumed that the pregnancy and her bad experience with the father had put her off it. Although I guessed she thought I was attractive, I never got any indication that she wanted more than a platonic friendship.
As her pregnancy progressed, she asked me to be her Lamaze partner. I balked at first, but then decided it would be a nice thing to do for my friend. The class was large and we met a number of other unwed mothers in various situations, some had coaches, some did not. I was used as the 'utility daddy' and actually got to enjoy helping the half dozen or so ladies who didn't have partners. Although I didn't actually participate in any births, other than Sherry's, I did become friends with these other ladies and several months after the classes ended, I was pleased to see the same faces at a neo-natal care class.
I was trying not to get too attached to Sherry and her baby. It was clear she didn't want anything more than a friend in me, and that was fine by me. Baby School, as we called it, covered the basics of immunizations and care during the first year. But what really interested me was breastfeeding. I know it may sound perverted, but I had always held a fascination for that! It is equal parts curiosity and arousal. It's such an intimate act, so associated with sex, but so pure and basic to life. It seemed to me that all of the women were specially compelled or motivated in this area. It was part of the motherhood experience that none of them wanted to miss.
I found myself awkwardly embarrassed to be present as the instructor, herself a nursing mother, spoke about it and began to demonstrate on herself with her own baby. I tried not to react at all as she, a tall stocky woman, unbuttoned her blouse, opened her nursing bra and revealed her small, pointed breasts, with large dark nipples. Her baby latched on with eagerness and a shiver seemed to go through her whole body. She had to stop speaking for a moment until the sensation eased. She closed her eyes and then seemed to return to the lecture in a serene euphoria. I noticed that each of the unmarried women sitting near me, including Sherry, gave a sympathetic sigh, as the teacher enjoyed the sensation. She explained about how to hold the baby and about nutrition and care of the nipples and pumping and storing milk. I was spellbound. I only hoped my eagerness for the subject wasn't noticable or off-putting to Sherry. We had such a special friendship that I didn't want my sexual interest to wreck it. After all, how does a horny young single man fit into the picture with a single mom, or moms, taking care of newborns?
Just before the class ended, the instructor handed out a list of attendees with addresses so that the ladies could organize support groups and later, playgroups. She mentioned that La Leche League endorsed setting up groups to encourage breastfeeding and to provide mother's milk to infants who had no other source. As the class broke up and the ladies I had coached and Sherry were busy setting up their group, I felt a little sad that my role in this had come to an end. I turned and headed for the door when I heard several of the women calling out my name. I turned.
"You're not quitting on us now, are you?" said one. The others chorused their agreement.
Sherry said, "Ladies, it's not fair for us mothers to ask any more from my friend. Steven's a single guy who was doing me a favor because he felt sorry for me. Why don't we let him get on with his social life?"
I saw genuine disappointment in the eyes of these ladies, whom I realised had become my friends over the course of weeks and months. I had been a small part of a very important life event for them. I knew their names, their stories. Now I knew their babies. They seemed to still want me to be there for them. I smilled and nodded. One by one the six ladies and Sherry gave me a hug and kiss on the cheek as we broke up until our first meeting at Sherry's, which was to be in a week.
As that week passed, I became aware that I was more than a little excited about seeing these women again and about the notion of them all breastfeeding with me there. I pictured each of them in my mind. None of them was the Baywatch babe of my dreams, they were all average-looking women who had just had babies. And yet I felt a sense of attraction to each of them in their own way.
The evening arrived and I was late getting to Sherry's. Her apartment was filled with ladies, each either holding her baby or rocking it in a carrier. The conversation only paused for a moment as I entered and greeted everyone with a wave. I put my coat on a bed in the back and went to the kitchen to get a drink. As I did I heard the ladies talking about their recent experiences.
" I do too. I wondered if I was the only one. When my baby really latches on, it's almost painful at first but then I get the warmest feeling from my breasts down to between my legs. It's really powerful."
