Sleep doesn't come easily for the next few nights. Even when I'm completely worn out from a string of playmates and Michael. I've got too much on my mind.
Most of the time I lay there next to Michael's delicious warm body thinking. Other times I slip out of bed and wander downstairs. I don't do that often, I'm afraid of waking him and having to explain what's wrong. It's nothing he's done, I couldn't be happier in our relationship. I have everything a woman could possibly want right? A devoted husband who loves me, often I might add.
I have the freedom to play with other men if and when I choose. So what's the problem?
Shane, he's the problem. He's right about a few things and it bothers the hell out of me. Deep down I still want him. Even now if I had the chance I'd happily rip my clothes off, bend over the nearest flat surface, and beg to be used by him.
It bothers me because that's how I was with Michael. Years ago before our relationship developed into it's current form things were much different.
I manage to stay away from Shane for two more days. Michael was working late so I was going to the bookstore for a little me time. I didn't make it there. I found myself standing in front of Shane's house trying to convince myself to just walk away. I don't know how long I stood there with a battle of wills between my head and hormones being fought inside me, but eventually my hormones won.
I knew I should walk away, that the hold he has on me won't ease if I don't stay away from him but my entire body was desperate for him. I can feel my legs shake as I move up the stairs, my hand trembles as I reach for the doorbell. As I wait for a response I shove my hands into my jacket pockets turning away from the door slightly. The door opens, I take a deep breath turning back. Shane stands there with a knowing look in his eyes. "Hello Elle."
"Hi" was that my breathy voice? Good lord, I may just as well have written "fuck me" on my forehead.
"What are you doing here?" He asks, maintaining the pretence.
"Ummmm can we talk? About what happened last week?" My voice is low.
"Sure if you want. Come in" as he moves back.
"Thank you" I murmur as I walk past him. I pray he doesn't see how my hands are shaking as I take off my jacket and sneakers. I feel his hand on the small of my back directing me into the living room. I move to the couch and sit a few feet from him.
"So what did you want to talk about?" He asks turning to me. This is the version of Shane that first attracted me to him, the friendly open Shane. He seems so normal, no one would have any idea of the twisted pleasures he's begun to indulge in. I've wondered if his involvement with Michael and I influenced him or if it had started before that. Had I known he was or would be exploring domination I probably wouldn't have gotten involved with him. It's just to tempting for me.
Some parts of us are fluid and can be changed, while others are a fundamental element of who you are. For me submission is that part of me that I just can't alter. I've managed to evolve in other ways to find a way to make my relationship with Michael work, because I love him so much, but deep down I can't help the need to pleasure others.
"Well" I say softly, "what happened last week".
"Elle we both know you enjoyed it. You always enjoy our play time."
"I wasn't playing. That's not how this is supposed to work. I'm not your sub."
"Do you want to be?"
"I can't. That won't fit with my marriage, not the way it is now."
"So what is it you want then?" he asks sounding exasperated.
I sigh heavily. "I don't know." My head is turned away so I don't see him get up, his hands on my arms pulling me up is my first indication that he moved.
He lifts me up onto my tip toes as his head dips "Yes you do." He growls before crushing my lips with his. My knees go weak as I melt into him. "I'll bet your pussy is dripping right now" as he moves to my neck biting the sensitive skin. "Does Michael know you're here." I shake my head. "Mmmmm being naughty tonight then." I nod slightly. "You know what naughty girls get don't you" another nod "Mmmm good."
He lifts his head, turns me and sets me back on my feet. As he walks me to his bedroom I can feel him pressed against my back. "Clothes off" he says as he gives me a shove towards the footboard. I pull my shirt off with trembling hands, my yoga pants follow and I toss them to the side turning back to him in my bra and panties.
"All of it" he says coming over with a scarf in his hands. I reach back and pop open the clasp on my bra, slide the straps from my arms, toss it onto the pile. As my hands slip under the waistband of my panties he turns me to face the bed, and then as I ease them over my hips I feel his hand between my legs his fingers seeking and then sliding into me easily.
"Always so wet for me." I gasp letting my panties fall to the floor. My back arches as his fingers slide in and out of my slick folds. "Tell me the truth Elle. Does Michael get you this wet?" I shake my head. "Say it" he demands quietly.
"No" I whisper, his free hand snakes under my jaw pulling my head back.
"I couldn't hear you" in my ear.
"No" I say.
"Do you think of my cock when he fucks you?"
"Yes" I moan as his fingers delve deeper. My hands grip the footboard as my hips start to rock in time with his hand. His hand releases my jaw as he laughs softly. I moan in dismay as he withdraws his fingers. With quick efficient movements he wraps the scarf around my wrists and then ties it to the footboard. He moves away for a moment, then there's a flash as he takes a picture with his phone. My heart plummets as I watch him send a text.
"Just so he doesn't worry when you don't come home before he does." He says with a smirk marring his handsome face.
He comes back to me running his hand over my ass taking a deep appreciative breath. I'm treated to a squeeze before he delivers the first blow. "How many men have had you this week?" Another slap.