Wednesday morning, Claire and I drove north to Sedona for our meeting with Mr. Whitney at his house. I would have preferred to meet somewhere else more public, but I felt comfortable with it since Claire was coming too. Plus, although anyone could find my video now, I still wasn't eager to discuss my new chastity lifestyle where strangers could eavesdrop on the conversation. We met at my apartment and drove together from there in my car. I must have looked flustered because Claire pulled my key out of her purse right away and put it in my glovebox, saying she wanted to make sure that there was no way the exchange could be forgotten.
I almost laughed out loud when she said that. For her, my key might be something she could forget about; for me, on my fifteenth day denied pleasure, that was impossible. It was hard for me to stay focused on much else and I felt like I had been losing my train of thought constantly over the past two days. With our filming still on hiatus, there had been nothing to occupy my time as I waited to see her and my key again. All I could was try my best to find temporary distractions from the desire trapped behind my belt, slowly building each day.
The exact feeling of this desire seemed to change throughout the day. Sometimes it felt almost like an annoying itch I needed to scratch; sometimes it felt like a pressure building inside me. The secure top band of the belt still sat comfortably snug around my waist, but when I felt the pressure, I could close my eyes and imagine it being strong enough to shatter the lock keeping it trapped. The tumbler and pins and springs simply coming undone, falling to the floor just because I really wished they would. However, when I opened my eyes again, the lock always remained stubbornly unaffected by the miracle I'd been envisioning.
Still other times, my urges would shift to feel like a void that needed filled deep inside of me. It was like the pressure became so great the it collapsed in on itself, leaving me with an emptiness, like hunger. When my urges felt like this, it felt like they could only be solved in the most primal ways possible. I thought I could release the pressure with just any orgasm, like I was just twisting a release value; I could only conceive of filling the void by getting fucked. Each time I pictured getting penetrated deeper than I'd ever been before, it felt like the void would retreat a fraction of an inch further inside of me, making me fantasize about rougher and rougher treatment - whatever it took to reach that spot.
The past few days had just been a constant ebb and flow through these different manifestations of my libido. It was as if the most basic instincts living near the base of my brainstem were trying anything they could to get me to fulfill my evolutionary prerogative, cycling through these different methods of persuasion. Each of the methods were extremely effective; I was entirely persuaded. The belt, however, wasn't so easily swayed.