I arrived at the front door of my house after sprinting home. I got home, and my anger was still outrageous. I was fuming mad, and I wanted to punch the wall. Working out for the first time didn't soothe this anger. I needed an outlet, and I needed one fast. I entered my house after unlocking the door with my keys. My mom and dad talked in the living room, and I ignored it as I went downstairs to my room. My little slice of the home was the basement. I walked over to the punching bag that I hung and punched it. I couldn't go all out, though, since I didn't want to put a hole in it.
I moved to the shower and stripped naked before turning on the water at the max cold. My head still felt like steam was coming off at the anger I was feeling in my veins. It was like an engine I never knew existed opened up and began running at full speed. I badly wanted to punch something or do something to release this anger.
I couldn't get over it. The conversation between Jake and his friend. The scene where he came into the showers naked to forcefully rape me. Me then raping him. I felt so vindicated, Guilty, and Powerful; That feeling of flying in the sky for winning. Then that conversation, that a woman could happily plan with him my rape. To be forcefully pinned to the ground and taken. She FUCKING PLANED IT WITH HIM!
My mind screamed the facts, and I grew angrier and angrier with every passing second. The cold water did nothing to cool my head. I needed to cool down and think; Thinking is what makes good plans; I can't let this pass. I cannot murder them either; I cannot destroy their bodies like my hands want to do so badly. The truth is now that this morning, I committed excessive force in raping Jake. The law doesn't smile upon you defending yourself with rape. I need to change my thought patterns from breaking every fucking bone in his body.
The cold water was freezing on my skin, but I felt nothing as my anger burned like a furnace. Finally, I slapped myself hard. So hard I might have cut my cheek on a tooth or something as the metallic taste of blood filled my mouth. My mind seemed to cool off with that. My brain started to work again as I tasted my blood and spat it at the shower's drain. I sighed in relief, and I focused.
Although I loved sports the most, I was never an idiot. I had a working brain and was never a muscle head, so I knew I had to think with my head, not my fists. That was why I let Tracy run away instead of breaking her bones as I wanted. The red haze was something that I knew I had problems with sometimes. I never exploded as I had with Jake before. I was not proud of my actions today. The more I thought using my head, the more I realized this wasn't what I meant with my promise at the start of summer vacation.
No, I wanted it to stop. Not the escalated thing I was now involved in. Tracy the Cunt, Was going to nag Jake to find out what happened. If he talks, then I am in trouble. With the way things are in the world, even though men are still on the losing side of rape charges. I was still on the wrong side of any judgment. I may have defended myself, but I had no marks. Jake probably does, though; That is the problem. Evidence is against me. The video I have of him is a mark against me.
It was evidence of an evil deed that could end me up in jail. I did not want to destroy my future. That means I had to be on the attacking side in this. The evidence was entirely against me if I thought about it. I had no friends at school that could collaborate on anything I said. They were popular kids in school where I was Dick girl; The social outcast that loves lifting with good grades. Jake is a skilled quarterback with a future in his hands, Scouted to a university.
The more I thought about it, the more I darker I realized my situation was. I needed something to leverage. A video of me raping Jake was not leverage; that is, if he thinks logically. If I post that video, I will face the consequences, whereas he could just move on in a year. I could feel my situation feeling grimmer and grimmer. I couldn't let this happen; I needed to plan.
I turned off the water and dried myself as I continued to think of my situation. I put on some sweats and walked over to my decent desktop. It was meant for homework, and I booted it up while thinking about what I could do to them. I needed something! I cried in my mind as I sat in my cheap chair. I began to surf the web mindlessly as I contemplated what I could do. I was stuck, and I grew increasingly desperate. I had twelve hours to come up with something, and I only knew that I needed to do something.
I finally decided to ask for advice. I spoofed my Ip address before I created throwaway accounts on several forums. I posted the same post asking for advice explaining my problem. Several comments called it bullshit, and it was deleted due to its content. I finally got something that made me sit up.
MistressX2466: I don't know if this is real or not. But I will give you advice anyway. You sound like a strong woman with an unyielding spirit. I am not sure how you raped the boy back. But you seem to be in trouble if this is real and have dug yourself a deep hole that I doubt you can legally bring yourself out of.
My advice to you isn't to think in the usual way's girl. Think in unyielding terms. Tommy (obviously fake, by the way) can be trained to like it. Have you ever thought of that? Have you thought of some way to make April (obviously fake again, lol) turn on Tommy? If you do that, then they will be too busy blaming each other to look at you.
This isn't the best advice, though. You are in a tough spot if this is real--some real legal trouble, girl. Your up shits creek without a paddle, if this is true. You sound like the victim (if this is true/real), and I hope you the best.
After reading this message, I wondered what she meant by training him. I started to look up training men. What I found took me down a rabbit hole of porn, and I heard steps coming down to my room. I slept my screen and turned to see my dad come downstairs.
"Hey, Sweety." He greeted me.
"Hi, Dad," I said with a smile. "What's up?" I asked him.
"Just coming down to get you for dinner, sweety. Also, to ask if your shower hour-long shower used all the Hot water?" He said, looking at me with a faint scowl.
I giggled, knowing the scowl was fake. "Nope, I took a cold shower to cool down from my day, Dad." I continued, "I had a good run. I was wondering, though, If I could get some more weights." I finished changing the subject as I got up from the computer.
I followed my dad upstairs as he deflected from my want for more weights. He did so effortlessly as he knew how much I loved pumping iron. My room was a bed, desk, and gym. I started to study more now, but he knew where my true love was.
I sat down with my mother and father and pretended I was fine as I talked with them. My mind wandered at some points as I eat a substantial portion. My parents were used to it, though. I consumed much more calories than most people to fuel my body. Although my muscle mass looked small, I weighed more than I looked like. I actually stopped weighing myself since It made me feel overweight when I did. I know, though, that my muscles were good and weighed more than fats. I was incredibly proud of my muscles too.
I ate dinner, barely conversing with my parents as usual, and didn't bring up my problems. I knew how they felt about it. I wasn't ashamed of my actions. I wouldn't say I liked the consequences, though, and explaining my actions was difficult at best.
