Life As A Sub Ch 04 Pt 04

Ch. 04 Pt. 04 -- Understanding

Recap

My final afternoon appointment with Master Bob, Claire, Sally and Clive. Having just had a frustratingly agonising orgasm, now it was time to finish up.

* * * * *

While Bob's heavy balls were still pressed down on my eyes, he slapped my mouth with his cock as I tried to beg them to let me stroke myself.

I could hear everyone laughing, echoing in my mind as I knew they were watching me try again and again to grab my dicklette. The agony of having an orgasm without stroking was so mind numbing and frustrating as well as humiliating. My groans and sobs, coupled with my bucking hips were obviously so humorous to them, to me it was agony.

But then Bob suddenly lifted his warm balls from my face and stood up. I watched as he lifted off me and I gazed into his laughing eyes.

"Keep your eyes closed." He said to me in a smiling jovial tone.

I heard him, but my mind was still going through that torturous orgasm, but I did as I was told. I heard him talk quietly to someone, so I tried again to touch myself. I lifted my hand, but it was frustratingly slapped away once more.

Suddenly another pair of knees squeezed my head, and I once again felt a heat near my face. I was immediately overwhelmed by a salty smell and then a wetness as a soaking wet vagina pressed and rubbed onto my mouth. It was like receiving a very wet dribbling and slobbering kiss, but it didn't stop at my mouth. The pussy squelched all over my face.

I quickly opened my eyes just a little to see a sexy feminine bum that I could only presume and hoped was Sally.

All I can say is that my mind was being assaulted. I knew I was being conditioned. Even with this sexy woman grinding her sex on my face, I could feel my little dicklette twitching but shrinking inside the condom, aching painfully, with my little tight ball bag completely shrinking into my body and, to top it off, I was now finding it hard to breath.

Lost in the moment though, I stuck my tongue out to try to lick the sensitive tiny lips that were being rubbed all over me. And then I as I swallowed something slimy, I tasted it. I swallowed wetness. Sure enough, the taste abruptly hit me. It was sperm and pussy cum.

I coughed feeling overwhelmed at the taste as I swallowed. The dribbling pussy pressing on my face squelched and slid all over me as her hips pushed down and rubbed harder, cutting off my air supply. I moved my head from side to side trying to get some air, but I think that was just making things worse for me, especially as Sally started to deliberately circle her hips.

I think she was enjoying me struggling so I went to grab her hips to try to move her to one side. I thought if I could open her bum cheeks on my forehead that I might be able to try to make a channel of air.

But as I placed my hands on her thighs, Sally suddenly got up. My hands slid down over her smooth sexy legs as she rose. I coughed and spluttered as I looked up at her naked sexy body. Then she just stood half crouched over me for a brief second. She looked down, laughed and let a drip from her pussy splash onto my forehead. I flinched as the drop hit me then I gazed hungrily at her wet pussy. It looked so gorgeous, even though it looked red wet and swollen.

I tilted my head back and watched her walk away. And there I was. Lying on the floor, naked except for my collar, my face covered in a mixture of sweat, sperm and pussy juice, my semi soft small aching dicklette held in place by a cum filled condom.

I heard whispering again, so I craned my head to look where it was coming from.

Suddenly, Clive's sub blocked my view by crawling on all fours over my face. He straddled my head, and got into a 69 position, his ringed hard cock and tight hairless balls hovering over my face. OMG what was happening now. He... He took my aching condom covered dicklette into his mouth. OMG.

I had to see, so I pressed my chin on my chest and looked down just as I watched his warm mouth envelop all of me.

After a couple of milking movements with his mouth, I got to thinking that he was trying to suck the condom off my dicklette. I thought it weird, but I wasn't going to stop him because his mouth felt so soft and warm, and I was welcoming the feeling of being touched down there.

Mmmmmmm. I could feel him suck me, so I put my hands under my bum to lift my hips slightly to allow him to get a good mouthful. I also wanted to give him every opportunity to remove that crinkled latex sleeve and its contents.

And even though my ball and dicklette were aching, I was slowly reacting to his sucking. I couldn't help it. It was that damned milking action he was giving me, but by the time I was semi hard, I felt the cold air on my dicklette that told me he had already removed the condom.

I don't know if he knew he was doing it but his tight hairless balls pressed down onto my face, so I obliged by jiggling and licking between them with my tongue.

Then I felt fingers pull my foreskin back and his warm mouth on me again. This time he held still, just using his tongue to explore and flick my dicklette head.

I have to admit, it felt nice. This young man was sucking on my tormented dicklette but at least he was very gentle. I guess he knew just how sensitive I was, but it did however feel different from having Ruth suck me.

As I watched him suck me, I was feeling unsure if this was right. After all, I was a sub, and now another sub was sucking me.

I craned my head back to see Bob and the others walking back over to us. They stood around our 69 entwined bodies looking down. From between the subs bum cheeks, I could just see Claire holding Bob's cock but couldn't see anything else because the sub lowered his hips again, this time rubbing his hard cock on my face. His balls were noticeably tight as the cock ring gripped him.

I gave his balls a loud kiss and a lick without even thinking about it.

I heard Bob laugh and say. "Well, boy, do you think you can cum again. Go ahead, feed him if you can. He is a cock sucker just like you. His needs are to please us, and we want him to feed." His words were so erotic and dirty, but I wasn't ready to cum again. My tender cock was slowly responding to the subs gentle sucking, but my aching ball really wasn't ready for another orgasm.

I thought that even if I was able to cum again, any spurt would only have been a dribble. I thought that I had spent most of my cum into the condom. I really was aching so much with my ruined orgasm.

I looked up between the subs bum cheeks again and shook my head at Bob. It wasn't going to happen.

He said. "Go sit down... let's talk." He pointed to somewhere and then walked away.

Trouble was I couldn't move. The sub was still crouched over me and he wasn't budging. I tried to push him off so I could sit up, but he just kept pressing his cock on my face and sucking my dicklette. I was going to have to forcibly push him off.

I heard Bob shout, "WELL...WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?"

Bob's raised voice made me very nervous, so I gave the sub an almighty push. Well, I succeeded by moving his body, but his mouth was still clamped on my dicklette. What the hell was this boy doing. Didn't he hear Master Bob?

I looked over at Bob who was now sat on the sofa with Claire, both had a half full crystal glass in their hands. I didn't notice Clive or Sally, so I guessed they must have left the room.

I tried again to get up, but the young man just wouldn't let go. He held onto my hips and twisted his head and shoulders as I tried to stand, holding himself steady as he continued to suck me.

"GET INTO THAT CHAIR NOW." Bob shouted.

I looked at Bob and intimated with my nodding head, that it was difficult to get up because of the sub's head still in my lap.

Bob turned to Claire, and they continued whispering, ignoring my predicament. This was so weird and again humorous for them. The awkward way I had to try to get to the chair with this sub sucking my dicklette was not only depraved but also weird.

I lifted my hips and body off the floor, then slowly, with legs open wide, crawled like a crab over to the chair. The sub maintained his suction on me as I moved. I crawled backwards, the sub crawled forward, moving with me, making the occasional sucking noise as he tried to keep my now semi hard dicklette in his mouth

Bob and Claire giggled to themselves, calling over to Sally and Clive at the drinks table to watch me. It was amusing, I must admit. But the whole difficult way I had to move while trying to keep the sub sucking me was also very erotic and started that wicked debauched feeling in my stomach once more.

Crawling backwards, I eventually reached the chair. I was moving quite slowly now, actively trying to help the sub maintain his position with his head in my lap. I occasionally looked over at Bob and Claire. It was obvious they were thoroughly enjoying my struggle, and they were looking inquisitively at how I was going to negotiate getting into the chair.

I put my elbows on the seat one at a time and pulled myself up. I was almost laughing as well as I slowly lifted myself, allowing the sub to maintain his feeding position.

I pushed my bum onto the chair and gently slid back with my legs open. The sub moved into a kneeling position.

I looked once more at Master Bob, hoping that I would get some praise from him for having achieved this difficult but erotic feat. Instead, Bob called over to Clive.

"Clive, would you like your suck boy back?"

Clive walked over to me then clipped a leash onto the subs collar. He tugged the leash, and the sub let my dicklette drop from his mouth then crawled away behind Clive. I looked down at my small semi hard red dicklette. My foreskin was still pulled back but I didn't dare touch it to roll it back over my dicklette head. I looked at Master Bob.

====== I break in my diary here because this was a talk that I have forever remembered. What he told me next was why, even today, I look closely at potential Dominants and Masters. A few simple questions and I can tell if the Dominant wants a serious D/s relationship, or they are just after a one time cum swallowing slave.======

Bob looked serious as he glanced at Claire and then to me. A frown showed on his face. "Let me tell you about biology." He said in a quiet voice.

I looked around the room, Sally and Clive were leaving the room, taking with them their underwear and the sub. It was just me, Claire and Bob.

I sat back and listened.

"Have you heard of chemicals called Dopamine or Prolactin?" I shook my head. "No Master." I replied

"How about testosterone?" he added. I nodded at that one as he continued.

"So. You know then, testosterone is a hormone produced by a man's balls that not only promotes their growth but also helps grow his cock and effects the amount of sperm he produces." Claire reached down and cupped his balls. They both looked me in the eyes as they smiled.

He looked at my face as I looked at his cock. I swallowed. "It's what makes men like me and Clive want to breed and reproduce." I nodded, thinking I understood what he was telling me.

"You, a... male, may feel like that you want to breed of course. Your little ball produces sperm as normal, but inside you is that feeling that you are inferior. You need someone like me or Clive and the others, dominant, confident men in your life."

I nodded, looking at Claire, sat back smiling, her left leg over her right, gently swinging up and down. I was mesmerised by her painted toenails. She looked so sexy.

"So. To continue. We know that testosterone equips us to breed. Dopamine, however, is a brain chemical that makes us want to breed." I nodded again.

"That chemical increases as you get turned on. Then it keeps going until it plateaus, making you want to keep feeling that sexual high." He used his finger in the air to describe a ramp up and levelling off. "So, you could say that it influences our moods and feelings. We can't help it. The dopamine drives us to want sex, to keep breeding."

He raised an eyebrow. "So what does that mean for subs like you? Well, for you, this increase in dopamine provides a sort of teaching trigger. For you it drives the parts of your brain responsible for acquiring new behaviour. You want it."

He looked at me and raised both his eyebrows questioningly to see if I understood. "Ok Master." I said, hopefully sounding intelligent.

"While the dopamine is flooding your brain, you can't help it. You want to learn more and more. You want to keep going just to maintain that exciting feeling. It's like an addictive drug."

He paused and let me reflect on what he and Claire had been doing to me all this time.

I was quickly piecing it all together. My hunger to serve, my need to learn more, my want to be their submissive. It was all true.

Bob continued. "Prolactin on the other hand. Now this chemical shuts down that sexual desire. Obviously these two chemicals can't be plateauing at the same time. So, when you have an orgasm, dopamine drops off and prolactin increases." Once again, he paused and let that sink in, then continued.

"Do you see?" He did a ramp up and ramp down with his fingers. "Orgasm, and the dopamine goes down. That want to be a cock sucker goes down. The need to be our bitch goes down as the prolactin increases. Sexual desire is shut down as it increases."

"Keeping the sub in a dopamine high makes you more receptive to wanting to please. The sub will do almost anything to keep that hungry feeling. So, if you understand what I have just said, tell me why we don't let you cum till the end of each meeting?"

I looked at Claire, then at Bob. "So that I am always horny...and want to please you by doing anything you tell me to do Master?"

Claire gleefully clapped her hands and giggled. "Yeeessss, well done." She said, "Clever boy." I smiled at the praise I was given.

Bob continued. "Yes. Exactly. So, keeping you hard and erect for as long as we do, and as often as we do,...it is training you to always be hungry to please."

I was amazed. Now that made complete sense. It was true. I was still feeling turned on but my drive to be a bitch was not as strong as it was when we started. So, me cumming had produced prolactin and was reducing my sex drive. Hah. I got it. It was just like edging.

Going through all the training they had given me, they of course had always kept me in a state where my dopamine levels were so high, I would have done anything to keep that dirty and depraved feeling going.

"Now you know what a true Dom knows. That's how they and use a subs mind to control his him."

His last words stuck in my mind and have done ever since. As a sub, out into the big brash world, I would seek out Dominants and hunger to be in their company more and more, but now I would knew why.

He said that I had already shown to him and his friends my natural submissiveness. I needed to be humiliated and subjugated by a dominant, but now I was prepared with the knowledge of how a true Dom looks at me for his pleasure.

During these brief meetings, the group had only opened my eyes to the possibilities, and he had so much more still to teach me, but sadly we had all run out of time.

After a short while, we concluded by everyone slowly getting dressed. I, however, was told to remain naked. Then we just sat talking about Clive and Sally's life, how they met, and then about the others in the group. My little dicklette stirred and got hard during the discussion, which of course pleased everyone when I was told to open my legs and let them see what their words had done to me.

When it was time for me to leave, I had to go into the hall as usual, dress then wait there. Once dressed, I sat on the stool thinking about everything that happened.

The door to the living room opened and out came smiling Bob and Claire.

"It is a shame that this is your last visit." Bob remarked as he kissed Claire. "We would like to know what you get up to though. Perhaps Ruth could tell us, or you would like to write to us?"

I nodded not yet deciding what I wanted to do. Over the years though, and with Ruth still visiting them because of Claire, we did stay in contact.

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When I said I was going to publish this diary, I of course got hold of all of them through Ruth and through Claire for their approval. Sadly, we found out that old age and health issues had taken its toll on the group. Not all the couples were still together and there were dementia problems but overall, the response we got from my draft chapters was all very positive.

So now I continue with my diary about life out in the big world. The different Masters I and Ruth had, and also Ruth's escapade as 'Leanne', a young woman in control of her submissive life. (On that note, there may be some older readers of this diary who may have come across a submissive girl named Leanne back in the 1980 -90s. She was quite a turn on for many a Dominant which got her so horny too).

My next chapter is all about me and Ruth and our first big holiday together to Gran Canaria.