It was this periodic indulgence of mine of playing the submissive that led to my downfall. One afternoon, Lauren toyed with my cock, cajoling me to wear a cheap maid's uniform that she had bought at the Spirit Halloween store or someplace like that. I finally agreed to play along and put it on. It barely even fit me and I looked ridiculous in it. It was a far cry from the carefully tailored maid's uniforms I wear today (Lauren and Jason make me use the same tailors I had used for years for my power suits), I spent the next couple of hours serving her drinks and dinner, scrubbing the kitchen floor on my knees under her direction, licking her high heels, etc. It was amusing for a while, but I had had about enough of such nonsense when suddenly I got the shock of my life when Jason Collins emerged from behind our pantry door.
"What the fuck?", I shouted.
Lauren said, "Calm down, Gregory. Jason and I have been lovers for the last six months, and you are too clueless and self-absorbed to have even have noticed."
Then Jason took over: "This has taken quite a bit of planning on our part, Jenkins. We have hidden cameras throughout the house. Let's all take a look at the videos, shall we."
Stunned, I sat down and watched Jason replay what were surprisingly high-quality videos of me playing the sissy maid in my ridiculous get up. It was all around an absurd situation.
"So, here's the deal, Jenkins," said Jason. "Tomorrow we will all go to my friend's law office. He is an estate attorney, and all of the documents have already been drafted. You will nullify Lauren's and your prenup and transfer ALL of your assets solely into her name. Amanda will be the heir to her estate, of course."
"That is ridiculous," I said. "Dream on," although I certainly did not feel I was negotiating from a position of strength, attired as I was.
Jason said, "If you refuse, tomorrow, copies of these videos will be in the inbox of every member of the firm and all of your clients. I have taken precautions to ensure that the files will be sent anonymously so that nothing can be traced to Lauren or me. I'm sure Page 6 of The New York Post will also find the story irresistible. Remember when poor Marv Albert was fired for getting caught crossdressing and The Post's headline was 'Marv Gets Pink Slip?'"
"That was hilarious," said Lauren. I had thought so too at the time, but wasn't laughing now.
Jason said, "I can see the headline now: Gregory, 'the Sissy Maid' Jenkins. If you sign the documents, I will destroy the files."
The upshot is that I was so mortified at the prospect of such extreme public humiliation -- something that would strike at the very heart of my public persona and result in the immediate termination of my career -- that I showed up the next day at Jason's friends office, and signed the documents, which were duly notarized. This capitulation was the greatest mistake of my life (or was it?), and I have been paying the price for it every second since. It had not occurred to me that Jason was capable of being as ruthless as I. For he destroyed the original video files, but did not destroy the copies he had made. They had me. He had me. Then he set about to break me.
Much has transpired in the six months since then. Jason moved in to my former home in East Hampton, sharing the king size bed with Lauren in the master bedroom, and I now sleep on a cot in the maid's quarters. At the age of 61, now penniless in my own right and entirely dependent on Lauren's mercy for a roof over my head, I have limited, almost nonexistent, options. My performance at the firm faltered after all of this occurred, and I lost two high profile cases and lost my two biggest clients. Forrest Johnson saw his opportunity for revenge and began working to push me out of the firm; once I was no longer feared, I quickly lost all support, and was forced to retire. My colleagues and subordinates were openly gleeful about my demise. There was no retirement party. Hanging out there, of course, were the tapes. I had lost my job, but was not yet a public laughingstock. But Jason and Lauren have the power to change that at will. Using their leverage over me, I was compelled to begin my advanced studies in humility.
Being the goal-oriented individual I am, I like to think of it as a PhD in humility with Jason as my doctoral advisor. Since my dressing as a maid is what enabled Lauren's and Jason's successful blackmail, they decided I would become the household maid. I was fitted for uniforms, both for everyday cleaning duties and formal service occasions. Lauren enlisted my daughter Amanda's assistance in carefully selecting my uniforms (styles, lengths, colors, as well as brands of stockings, height of heels, etc.) and establishing the very specific behavior and etiquette that was expected of me. They engaged a private tutor, an older woman who used to run an old school maid training academy, to teach me all of the proper service etiquette, including how and when to curtsy, how to address my superiors, how to serve a formal dinner, how to clean most efficiently, etc. I was put on a strict diet by Lauren and given a strict, not to mention intensely humiliating, exercise regime by Jason. He became my personal trainer. My training offered ample opportunities for Jason to greatly augment his video library documenting my emasculation, thus further cementing his control.
So, that's how I came to be standing on my toes in the sitting room before my wife and daughter, dancing to Jason's tune. Following my 45 minutes of penance, I donned a fresh maid's uniform and stockings, and began cleaning and polishing every inch of Lauren's 12,000 square-foot home, careful to ensure that it would pass her or Amanda's exacting inspection. Over the last few weeks, Jason has introduced a new task I am obligated to perform. He brings home reams of legal documents from the office for me to proofread. So, after hours of cleaning during the day, I now find myself regularly spending several hours in the evening proofreading -- a mindless task that, nevertheless, requires intense concentration, as errors result in harsh punishment. Another example of irony that appeals to Jason's sensibilities: the former managing partner, now relegated to the bottom of the law firm hierarchy, proofing for his former associate. So, as I rest my tired feet, I must exert my weary mind.
I have noticed a distinct shift in my psyche that has begun to take place. There remains a side of me that continues to feel superior to those around me, including Jason, and the dichotomy of being in a position subservient to everyone creates in me deep feelings of anxiety, resentment and shame (even occasional strings of resistance, although these are diminishing). At the same time, I am coming to appreciate that there is a certain symmetry and logic to it all. What goes up, must come down...the higher they rise, the harder they fall. ClichΓ©s exist because they are grounded in truth. My ascent was impressive, my descent spectacular. After being an incorrigible asshole all my life, my intensive humility training is showing me that I do possess some capacity for feeling empathy and guilt. Stripped of my dignity, I have begun to feel more acutely than ever before in my life. Is it possible that I need to genuinely suffer for my life to have any true meaning? Certainly, I have started to eroticize my subjugation. So, at the age of 61, I have less power than ever, but at the same time am more of a sexual being than ever as well. It is complicated.
I never recall having been attracted sexually to men in the past. Nor do I believe Jason is really attracted to men. But I do know that Jason is aroused by dominating another man in the presence of women. And I know that I am aroused by being dominated by another man in front of women, especially when those women are family members or former employees who once saw me in a position of authority. Especially when that man used to be subordinate to me, and is less than half my age. As Amanda put it, there's something primal about it, I suppose.
The day after my chastisement in the sitting room, I was informed by Jason that what I dreaded the most is coming to pass: my new status is becoming increasingly public. A garden party at the mansion has been planned for the last week in August in which I will be defending my dissertation in humility before a select group of guests, made up of former colleagues and subordinates, friends, and family. Between now and then, the plan is for me to prepare for this event through a series of warm up events
The first such event occurred the following week. All attendees agreed to sign a nondisclosure agreement to protect against any potential reputational damage to my old firm; the reputational damage to me was the whole point, of course, but it would be limited for the time being. Invited were three highly attractive young women from my former office (I always screened out the unattractive ones): Samantha, a junior associate, 30 years old; Penny, a 22-year-old paralegal; and Alyson, an 18-year-old secretary. Samantha and Alyson are long legged brunettes whereas is Penny is a petite blonde with a mischievous smile. All three had been on the receiving end of my verbal abuse numerous times when I ran the firm.
After swimming in the pool, they sat on deck chairs in their bikinis, waiting for the show to begin. While they may have had some inkling of what to expect, I'm sure nothing could've prepared them for what came next.
Samantha, Penny and Alyson had front row seats to see Jason putting me through my paces as my personal trainer. Jason led me out of the house by collar and leash into the yard, about 8 feet away from our audience. All three young ladies gasped, covering their smiling mouths in shock. Jason was shirtless, wearing skin tight jodhpurs and riding boots, carrying a cane in one hand and a riding crop in the other. I wore footed gray tights, nearly sheer, and nothing else save for my collar. Jason began our routine in the usual way, swooshing his crop three times in the air before striking my bare back to spur me on. He held the cane up to my waist, thus settling the required level of my high steps, as I began to trot in a circle around him. When my knees fell short, he would slash my ass with the crop, eliciting a yelp from me. Jason favors a split tip crop called the Motivator, known for the loud noise it makes when it meets flesh and the sharpness of its sting; it is aptly named. Next, he pointed to the ground, and I dropped to do push-ups, something I was never particularly good at, even when I was his age. Jason tapped the cane on my ass with modest force each time I raised it. This was followed by deep knee bends and jumping jacks, all with the encouragement of his crop or cane. It was over 90Β°, so it didn't take long before Jason's muscular torso was glistening in a sheen of sweat.