After her initial shocked look, my mother did not scream, cry, faint, or do anything else that I might have expected. Instead she sat there for a few minutes, a bemused smile slowly emerging from her mouth. I took another drag, centering the cigar in my teeth, and tried to imagine what would be coming next.
"Really Joanne . . . cigars? You want to smoke cigars!?"
She then started to laugh. This was not at all what I had expected, but I thought this might be a good omen.
"And what brought this on, honey?"
"Well, Mom . . . it is my birthday, and I am of legal age. I just wanted to do something daring and out of character."
"I see. And smoking a cigar is certainly daring and certainly out of character for you. I might have expected this from Jenny, but you?" She started laughing again.
The cigar was about finished, so I went into the parlor to find an ashtray. I sat the cigar in the ashtray, allowing it to go out. I then returned to the living room to rejoin my mother. I sat on the chair across from her and she asked me "Is this a habit you plan to continue with or is it just for the special occasion of your birthday?"
"Well Mom, it started as a lark. But when I tried the cigars, I knew that I really wanted to keep smoking them. I feel like it's already a part of who I am. I actually love it."
"Cigars? As in plural?"
"Yeah, Mom, I tried another one first at the shop, but then I tried the one that the cigar lady had, and I liked it even better. Those are the ones I bought. Padron. And walking home, it was weird. I noticed that lots of people were kind of staring at me without trying to be obvious. And, I have to admit, I felt like the attention made me feel like I had never felt before, a feeling of . . . well . . ."
"Power?" Mom finished my thought.
"Well, kind of. Yes, power. But something more. I felt sexy and special and confident. And . . ."
"I understand Joanne. And I think that if this is something that will help you come out of your shell, I will have no objection. I've seen pictures of famous women with cigars, and it doesn't seem to detract from their femininity. I don't know what your father will say, but I am giving you permission to smoke cigars. As an adult, it is your choice. And I am truly glad that it's not cigarettes that you're taking up. They would ruin your health."
"I want to smoke in the house too Mom. If Jenny can smoke her cigarettes at home, I should be able to smoke my cigars here too."
Jenny, my younger sister, had been smoking since she was fourteen. At sixteen, Mom and Dad finally gave up and gave her permission to smoke at home. Jenny is everything I am not, and she was never shy about doing anything that popped into her mind. She is very attractive, and it comes from the inside as well as the outside. Her confidence and outgoing personality make her a magnet for the guys. And I always noticed that when she smokes, she does so in a way that is quite sexy to watch. I know it and so, I always thought, do the guys.
"To tell the truth, Joanne, I love the smell of cigars, so I have no objection to your smoking in the house. As you are well aware, your grandfather smoked them his entire life, so the smell brings back happy feelings for me. It will come as a shock to most of our friends and relatives though. It is still not common around here to see girls with cigars."
"Mom, I love you!"
"By the way, dear, don't forget that your father and I have plans to take you out for a birthday dinner tonight. Luckily for you, La Trattoria still allows smoking in half of the restaurant, so you can have another cigar, if you so desire, after dinner. If I had known about your new predilection, I would have procured something special for you.
"Mom, you're the absolute greatest. These cigars are special enough for me, but feel free to cop me a Cuban if you ever get the chance. It would be worth a try."
