Jingle Bells (a parody)
####Disclaimer. BEWARE! Adult ONLY!
FETISH AND TEASING! BDSM! Reluctant husband! NSFW!
Don't read (and don't rate it) if the prolonged marital facesitting is not to your taste!
####
My contribution to
"Karaoke 2023" Author Challenge
.
####
.
In every karaoke there are some very easy songs, to encourage even the shyest people to sing in front of others. One of the most famous is undoubted "Jingle Bells", composed in 1850 and reworked several times with ever more innovative covers, and... some parody.
Not everyone knows that it is just as old as the opera from which the march "Here Comes the Bride" is drawn. Many are also unaware that it was printed in 1857 under the working title "The One Horse Open Sleigh", which, as we shall see, could mislead readers..
When I was a child, I couldn't stand the boring dirge of "Jingle Bells" in the version we were made to sing at school by some sour spinster teacher who had never had an orgasm.
In 2010, a Canadian singer's UPTEMPO cover (with the precious feature of a female chorus in 50s style) opened up a world of possibilities for me. But, as the Great Bard wrote: "You give me a Revelation, I need a Revolution!".
In 2023, a magnificent female cover by another Canadian singer, "Jingle Those Bells", appeared, which reverses the roles: the lead voice is female, and the chorus comes across as male and reluctant at first... but enthusiastic by the end!
Like all great winter holiday song classics, this one too is full of double entendres, adult innuendo, and inside jokes.
.
The action could take place at any time of the year, and in any place. There is no need for a snowfall, nor to wait until December: indeed, I don't believe in calendars, but someone might find it useful in Locktober or No-Nuts-November.
Obviously, the initial phase varies depending on the situation. If the couple is in a toy shop it may take a long time before they get to the bedroom in the house. If, on the other hand, the couple is in the kitchen or on the porch in front of the main door, it will take a moment.
In any given day, the wife might slyly approach her husband in the living room, and utter aloud (or whisper) the secretly coded three-word phrase. The formula is so secret that she could also utter it in a toy shop or in a stand with hot chocolate, or near the main door of their home:
"Happy Xmas, hubby!"
Her husband would immediately understand that those three words trigger an already agreed Great Session of sexual submission. Both of them had been planning this Scenario together for some time, calmly, he even has a safeword and full consent: even if at that precise moment, his voice suggests a considerable reluctance to submit.
"Happy Xmas, Wif... my Love!"
"Are you ready for a little... Jingle Those Balls?" she will say, with a mischievous smirk. This is also a code phrase, and it is very secretive, in fact, dear reader, you have never heard it uttered aloud in your entire life, and yet, many couples use it in secret.
The husband may be very reluctant, or he may be feigning shyness to amplify her joy (a kind of little role-playing): "Uh! Ready? I... No... Absolutely not! Not ready, indeed... I'm..."
"Too bad! To the bed! Right now!"
At this point, a short instrumental cut of the song is heard. This time allows the wife to tie spread-eagle her beloved husband to the handcuffs already hanging from the four corners of the bed. Now his mouth is defenseless, and she can proceed to a long facesitting session, forcing him to pleasure her by licking both front and back.
By pushing her bottom cheeks over his eyes, the wise and foresighted wife precludes him the precious view of her bouncing tits. Instead, she enjoys an enviable view of her husband's penis, and her hands are perfectly positioned to make those exposed balls dance.
.
Every reader can imagine his wife's shape and colors: thin, curvy, blond-haired, red or black.
.
