I Am A Wanker Ch 01

"Hi my name is Roger and I want to tell you about my sexual life."

"First of all let me describe myself. I am 47 years of age. I am 6ft tall with blue eyes and I am told I have broad shoulders and a taut butt. I live alone now although I have been married and have two grown up children. I used to work in the field of medicine but now I am retired on medical grounds and now I spend my days trying to write a novel although it is not that good."

"I was born to a single woman who had an affair with a married man who then made her pregnant but would not leave his wife and children so my mother put me up for adoption. I spent some time with a children's home until I was picked up by a couple who wanted a boy to be company to their older son. I was taken to their home and immediately put with this young boy. I obviously do not remember too much about these early years but as I began to grow up I realised that my elder brother did not like me in fact he loathed me and to this day we just about manage a hello to one another."

"The family grew over the years. My parents were both adopter's and foster parents and at times we had up to 14 children in the house but this eventually settled down to six of us. Three boys and three girls. Three that my parents had nurtured themselves and three that they had adopted. It was always a busy house with children both family and friends always coming and going and there was never a quiet place."

"My parents were very religious and very strict and my father was very competitive. As regards religion I loathed it. It was forced down my throat and I could not wait for the day when I could leave the church and turn my back on it forever. To me it was full of hypocrites who only paid homage to the church so that they could maintain their place in society and feel good that when they handed over their money thinking that they were helping the poor when in fact they were lining the pocket of the vicar."

"Nothing out of the norm was allowed. If you did not eat your food at mealtime it was put in the fridge and then warmed up for the next meal. If you swore you had your mouth washed out with soap and made to wear a sign round your head telling people that you had sworn. I could not live like this as I was a very quiet child."

"Discipline was paramount in the house. If you stepped out of line you were physically beaten with whatever my parents could find to hand. I have been hit by a wooden coat hanger, a police truncheon, a cane rod and even a cricket stump. Eventually I became numb to the pain that was afflicted on me and I would just lie there and take the punishment."

"I was also not competitive at all. My brothers were highly skilled sportsmen and went on to represent their countries in several sports as youngsters. I was just a player. I played for all the first teams at school but in the positions that no-one else wanted. I was the goalkeeper in soccer and the winger in rugby. I was put in the positions where people thought I could do least harm. My parents were that competitive that they put us in for annual IQ tests and much to my family's disgust I always came out on top."

"I may not have been the most competitive of people but I was highly intelligent and had a natural ability for writing. I would write poems and short stories and keep them in a folder hidden behind my wardrobe for fear that they would be discovered and I would no doubt be punished."

"Although I say it myself I was highly intelligent but not in a mathematical way but in an arts way. I loved History and English and was so good at them that I took my exams early and people thought that I was destined for great things in the field of education but my enthusiasm had begun to wane. I had passed the subjects that I wanted to and now school bored me. Do not get me wrong I passed my exams and got enough to get myself into University but I had other ideas."

"As regards sex I knew nothing. I was given the classes at school but in those days it was a grainy black and white film with cartoon characters that meant nothing to me. At home I was then given a book called The Family Health Guide and told to read Chapter 3. I read it and it was no better than the film that I had seen at school. As regards girlfriends I had a few but I always ended up being dumped and being told I was too nice."

"My plan for life did not involve going to University although that would have given me the out I could have taken to get out of the house but I chose another path that was to shape my life although I thought nothing of it at the time. I signed up with a jobs agency to take work on a Saturday. All I got was warehouse work but I enjoyed what I did. I worked hard and I got paid at the end of the day. I used to keep this from mum and dad and stored the money away for the next stage of my plan."

"Approaching the day of my 18th birthday I went to one of the bosses at one of the factories that I had worked at and asked if there were any jobs going on a full-time basis. He did not know me but he checked me out and found out that I was a hard worker so offered me a job to start when I turned 18. My plan was beginning to fall into place. On the day of my 18th birthday there was no party and I was given an envelope with £20 in it and told to buy something special with it. All I did was add it to my pot for when I was ready to leave."

"The next day I sat my parents down and told them that I was leaving school, I had no intention of going to University, I had found myself a job and I would be leaving home as soon as I found somewhere to live. As I expected I got a tirade of abuse back all about how I was ruining my life and how I would never make anything of myself and that I was a fool. I just tuned out. I had heard it all before. When they had finished I got up and left the room with a smile on my face."

"I left school the next day and started at work. I worked hard to make sure that I kept my job. I could not afford to lose this job if my plan was to come to fruition. The money was good and I was able to save up enough that it was getting to the point where I was nearly ready to leave home."

"One day at the warehouse I was just sat alone having a cigarette when I decided to look at the noticeboard. There were things to buy but there was an ad that caught my eye."

YOUNG COUPLE LOOKING FOR LODGER- It said."

"Underneath was a telephone number to contact them on. I noted the number down and went back to finish my cigarette. When I got home that night I made the phone call and arranged to go and look at the room. I could not wait for the next working day to end. At the appointed time I turned up and was met by the husband who introduced himself as Martin. I was shown into the house and met his wife Susan. I noticed that she was quite a good looking woman and for some strange reason my cock began to stir."

"I was shown round the house and in particular the room that was on offer. It looked perfect to me so I said that I would take it. I offered to give them double the deposit if I could move in the next day. Martin shook my hand and the move was agreed. I went home that night and walked out the next day never to return for another twenty years."

I settled into life with Martin and Susan. For an extra tenner I week I was fed and watered and had my laundry done by Susan and for the first time in a long time I was one happy man."

"One day whilst I was at work I was told to go to the big office and told I had to see the manager. I sat outside his office and waited be called in. Eventually a voice shouted."

"Come."

"I stood up and entered the office of my manager. He offered me a seat and I sat there as he looked at some papers. Eventually he spoke."

"I see from your reports that you are doing very well and you will easily earn your bonus this year for productivity but there is one thing I want to talk to you about."

"Yes sir?" I said.

"Why have you not taken any holiday?" He asked.

"I sat there and thought about it. It had not occurred to me that I had not taken any holidays. I had been so busy working that it had not crossed my mind. My manager spoke again."

"As of today you are on holiday for the next two weeks and no signing in for overtime. Take the time to recharge your batteries and I will see you in a fortnight fully refreshed."

"I walked out of his office and out of the warehouse and went home. I did not know what to do with myself for a few days so I read a few books and tidied my room and sat with Susan and shared conversations and cups of coffee. Gradually I began to feel relaxed and I could begin to understand what the manager was on about."

"One day I was walking down the hallway at home when I heard this groaning coming from Martin's and Susan's room. I thought that something must be wrong with Susan as I knew that Martin was at work so I opened the door and walked in. What I saw gave me the shock of my life and also made my Willie very hard."

Susan was lying naked on the bed and she was kissing one of her large breasts whilst she was moving something in and out of her vagina. She heard the door open and looked up and saw me and said."

"What the fuck you doing you pervert?" She screamed.

"I was that embarrassed that I ran out of her room and straight to mine and locked the door and hid under the duvet waiting for Martin to come home and dish out the punishment that I would get when Susan told him what I had done. About half an hour later there was a knock at the door and a female voice saying."

"Roger it is Susan here. Can I come in?"

"I was shaking like a leaf not wanting to be shouted at and thinking I might be losing my home. I slowly crawled out from out from under the duvet and unlocked the door and ran back to my bed. Susan walked in and sat on the edge of the bed. She began to speak."

"I am sorry for earlier on I should have waited until I was alone in the house but I had the urge to masturbate and had forgotten that you were in the house."

"I looked at her and said."

"What do you mean by masturbating?"

"Suddenly she burst out laughing and was almost crying when she suddenly realised that I was being serious."

"You're not telling me you have never seen a woman masturbate before?" She asked.

"I do not even know what the word means Susan." I replied.

"What about your cock? Have you ever masturbated that?"

"Susan what are on about? What do you mean masturbate?"

"Roger you are telling me you have never touched your cock in a sexual way?"

"Susan what are you on about? What is a cock?"

Susan looked at me very strangely and then asked about my upbringing. I told her all about my upbringing and by the end she was almost crying.

"Oh Roger you have missed out on so much. We need to educate you. Would you like me to do that for you?"

"If you think I need education about something Susan then I will let you educate me." I said.

"She looked at her watch and said."

"Look Martin will be home soon so we will start with your education tomorrow morning when we will have all day together. With that she stood up and went to leave the room. Just as she got to the door she lifted up her t-shirt and said.

"These are called tits not mammaries and you can have fun with them."

"With that she left the room."

"I spent the rest of the day in my room and only came down to watch television with Martin and Susan about nine o'clock that night. I felt very uncomfortable sat there and it was made even worse when Martin left the room to get a beer and Susan once again lifted her t-shirt to show me her tits. My penis got really hard and I felt sure that Martin would notice when he came back into the room but he was too busy concentrating on his beer. I stayed with them until about eleven o'clock and then I went to bed and had a restless night's sleep."

"I woke in the morning with a sense off trepidation. I had dreamt all night about Susan's tits and how gorgeous they looked. They were completely different to what I had seen in the book and. They were bigger and those things on the end looked like little buttons. I wondered what they were called?" I was still thinking about them when there was a knock at the door and Susan just walked in. She was still in her night clothes and had on a dressing gown. She approached the bed and said.

"Right Roger I have run you a bath and I am going to bathe you. I have locked all the doors and unplugged the phone so we will not be disturbed and I have my mobile here should Martin decide to ring. So things are safe."

"With that she turned and left my bedroom. I got out of bed and took myself to the bathroom where I found Susan waiting for me."

"Get undressed and climb in the bath." She said.

"I did as I was told and stripped off and climbed into the bath. Susan took a sponge and began to wash me. As she touched me my penis grew and soon it was stood erect. Susan looked at it and said."

"Enjoying this Roger?"

"Yes Susan it is very nice." I said.

"Right let me wash it whilst it is still erect."

She took the sponge and began to wash my penis and then she washed my balls. She then told me to stand up and turn around. I did as I was told and she cleaned my buttocks and then she parted my cheeks and cleaned my anus. I was now totally clean so when she told me to sit back down in the bath I was intrigued because what more was there to do? I watched as Susan sat down on the toilet and began to speak to me.

"Now Roger tell me what you call all the parts of your body that are part of your sexual make-up."

"I blushed at her words but I told her all the things that I called the separate parts of my anatomy. I looked up and saw that Susan was smiling at me and I could not decide if she was laughing at me. I had only told her what I had been taught growing up. I had never been told anything else. Suddenly Susan stood up and dropped her dressing gown to the floor and I just looked on in awe. She was completely naked underneath. I was staring at the naked body of a woman and my penis just seemed to throb and then it shot some white stuff into the air. It had never done that before but it felt good. Susan said."

"Good I am glad that is out of the way we can have a lot more fun now. Now let me tell you about my body."

"She picked up what she had called a tit the day before. She appeared to weigh it in her hand then she dropped it to her chest and then she told me all the names that it could be called. I just sat there and listened fascinated at what she was saying. She turned round and showed me her buttocks. They were quite fleshy and made me erect again. She parted them to show me her hole and then once again she went on to tell me all the names you could call them. I was clinging to her every word."

"Finally she turned round and parted her legs. She showed me her vagina both externally and internally and described it in intimate detail. I could not take my eyes of it. Little did I know how close I would get to it by the end of that day but I digress. She finished showing me all of her and then she said."

"Have you noticed the difference between my pussy and your cock?"

"I looked at her pussy and then I looked at my cock and the main thing that I noticed was that she had little hair around her pussy whilst I was covered in hair up to my shaft and in fact it looked quite untidy to me now."

"Do you want me to shave you to look like me? Martin won't let me do it to him. He says that it is unmanly and that he would feel like a poof if anyone found out."

"Yes please." Was all that I could say.

"She rooted through her cupboard and came out with a metal container that she plugged in on the hallway and then laid down a towel next to it. She then went to her wash bag and took a couple of new razors and some shaving foam. Initially she applied the foam to my cock and balls and shaved off all the hair. She left just a little bush that she shaped like a heart on the pubis and then she put out her hand and stood me up. She towelled me dry and helped me out of the bath and guided me to the towel in the hallway and laid me down."

"I think you could make a good girlie Roger so I think that I should remove all the hair on your body and then when I have finished you can touch me up."

"I laid back on the towel and lifted my head and watched as she covered me in hot wax. It hurt at first but I soon got used to it. She then took some strips and proceeded to strip me of all my hair including the pathetic moustache I had been trying to grow. When she was finished she swapped places with me and I did the same to her trying not to hurt her too much. When I was finished she ran her hands over her body and said."

"Impressive. You have done a good job. Now follow me to the bedroom."

"I did as I was told and when I got there she was laid on the bed. She had her legs open and was showing me everything that she had to offer. She patted the bed next to her and I climbed on and sat next to her.

"I am now going to show you how to masturbate but to do that I have to masturbate which is what you caught me doing yesterday."

"I just nodded in agreement."

"I watched as naked she leant across the bed and rummaged around in her bedside drawer and brought out a couple of things and a tube that had lube written on it. She took one of the things and began to lube it up and then she got on all fours and began to insert the thing into her arse. She turned to me and said.

"These are called anal beads and they stimulate your anus and add to the thrill of masturbation. I have made sure that my bowel is clear so that they go in nice and easily. I watched as she fed them into her arse until there was just a ring hanging out. Satisfied she then turned over and laid on her back. She propped her legs up and spread them as wide as she could and then she reached down and touched her pussy. She cupped her pussy in her hand and felt the warmth of it and then she began to insert a finger into it."

"She began to move the finger in and out of her pussy and then she added a second finger and began to do what she called masturbate. I noticed that she had closed her eyes and I wondered what she was thinking of. In and out I watched her fingers go and then all of a sudden she gave a little squeal and began to pant. I wondered what was going on when she opened her eyes and said."

"I have just had an orgasm. Just a little one but a nice warm up. Hand me the vibrator. I looked around the bed and assumed that the thing laid next to her must be the vibrator. I picked it up and handed it to her. She put it in her hand and then she brought it to her mouth and began to suck on it. She did this with one hand and with the other she took hold of my hand and wrapped it round the shaft of my cock and just left it there. After she had sucked the vibrator for a couple of minutes she removed it from her mouth and said to me.

"Do you want a suck?"

"It looked so much like my cock that I was curious and I took her hand and let her feed the plastic cock into my mouth. I moved my mouth up and down the shaft as Susan had done and I felt it vibrate and I could feel the cumm beginning to leak out of my cockhead again. Susan saw this and grabbed the base of my cock and squeezed it to stop me."

"I want that." She said.

"I sucked on the cock for several minutes and found that I liked it before Susan removed it from my mouth. She took it out of my mouth and placed it at the entrance of her pussy and began to push it in. She looked at me as she inserted it and said."

"Look under the pillow."

"I flipped up the pillow and found a pair of her knickers lying there. I picked them up just as she was saying.

"Wrap them around your cock."

"I took the knickers and wrapped them around the shaft of my cock and watched as she moved the vibrator in and out of her pussy."