Dear reader,
My name is Hobblenock. A hob-goblin which could be best described as horny with a taste for the more bizarre and outlandish, in a place which suits my inclination.
Today my brain ( being where it is ) aches, clamped to my special high chair with a padlock by she ( who I must obey ). This is going to make writing this story very uncomfortable if I start to get frisky, so I better be careful and use my self control.
Enough about me and my pre-dick ament because it's time to kick-off with another remarkable feet of filthy storytelling depravity.
All will be revealed 'Heah, heh!' ..... If you see what I mean.
Driven to Distraction
The wipers on the car where going at a frantic pace but they still couldn't keep up with the torrential rain that made driving visibility extremely poor.
Glen hadn't been down south very much in the past, as most of his sales work was concentrated locally to the east and west regions. He cursed himself under his breath then proceeded to curse everyone and everything else around him at accepting an assignment that was so far away from home. It probably meant that he would be late home and he was already missing his wife who he had just recently married.
It made the journey even more frustrating as each moment away from her seemed like an injustice and the longing he felt inside refused to disappear even with all the distractions that came with his job.
The appalling rain had made the journey take a lot longer than it should and the only solution had been to try and find a quicker route.
A quick scan of the map had revealed a faster set of roads through a small city called Alterville and it would save at least an hour on his travel time. It just seemed a bit strange that he hadn't seen it when he was planning the route earlier, as it was an obvious choice to take.
Glen took the next exit, his heart lifted as a large sign for Alterville loomed-up in front of him. A smile grew on his face and he realised that he could even be home earlier than expected if the presentation was done quickly enough.He checked his rear-view mirror while concealing his delight and remembered that he had to convince his clients without making efficiency look like impatience.
The strange thing was that Glen hadn't noticed the peculiar disappearance of the large sign in his mirror due to his urgency.
Alterville was a lot closer than he had imagined and the miles covered where taking no time at all. In fact, he felt a strange pulling sensation attracting the car and himself towards the city like a giant magnet. The bridges and buildings began to grow larger, spreading out to fill his view to resemble a blocky representation of a female head with its mouth wide open.
The shape of the city manifested itself only briefly then the buildings continued to get closer, breaking the sinister illusion that glen was completely oblivious to.
The dark city gladly accepted another morsel, naive enough to gladly enter its trap without noticing the warning signs.
Glen tried to clean the black specks off the windscreen but then realised that they where actually large crows that hovered above him like messengers of misfortune.
The Gothic buildings and grey sky had done nothing to make his situation feel any better and it had soon become clear that the long, straight route through Alterville did not exist.
The hour gained had turned into hours lost. Each street that he took had just led him around in a circle, leaving him hopelessly lost on roads he couldn't find on the map.
He had stopped to ask for directions several times but they had either laughed or just shrugged their shoulders and walked away. The only information he had managed to get was that no street names existed in the city, which had just annoyed him further.
Glen bashed the steering wheel in frustration and began to wonder if he would ever find a way out of the dammed place.
He turned down yet another side road that quickly went from tarmac to graveled path. It snaked through an opening surrounded by trees and he continued in desperation along its direction, not caring where it went as long as it was away from Alterville.
The tires dug into the grit and sprayed it behind the car as he accelerated along, but his hopes where quickly dashed when the trees parted to reveal a house in the distance.
The building was too small to be a mansion but impressive enough to display the wealth and grandeur of its occupiers. Large trees swayed in the thinning rain, masking out most of the smaller buildings to provide some serenity in a city that seemed to have none. The only dark remainder was some of the more taller structures that reached over the green canopy that enclosed it.
Non of this was appreciated as Glen filled the interior of the car with colourful expletives in frustration.
It had been a long day and his anger quickly dissolved into dismay due to his driver fatigue. He stared despondently at the sky and watched the light slowly fade into the darkness of evening, knowing that his last chance could only be the house and its occupants.
He solemnly got out the car and walked up some steps to be greeted by two, regal-looking stone lions that sat either side of the door guarding the entrance.
Glen pressed an old fashioned silver doorbell and tried waiting outside but his impatience was till clearly showing and he moved about on the step, anxious to get home by the end of the night by any means possible.
A tall woman in a butlers uniform quickly opened the door. She was of a slender build with short, white hair that had been heavily plastered down and styled with a severe parting on one side. The overall impression he had of her was of an overgrown bellboy.
Her face remained expressionless, but she gave him a look like he was a long way down the evolutionary scale.
"This is house of Vichkanova. What is name and state clearly nature of visit to house."
"I'm trying to get out of Alterville but I seemed to have got lost and I really need to get home. Can you help?"
The woman showed no reaction apart from raising one eyebrow.
"What is name?", she replied
"Err.. Glen. Can you help?"
There was an uncomfortable pause while she stood there just
staring at him then she suddenly turned, the coattails on the jacket following behind her as she walked down the hall.
"You shut door behind and follow me ...Glen....."
The strange female butler led him to a lounge that was softly lit by two brass table lamps in either corner. The room itself was of a considerable size and the lighting would have been insufficient if it wasn't for the large, open fire that formed the centrepiece of the room.
Burning wood crackled and its flames emitted a deep, continuous rumbling sound that gave a warning of its ferocity if it was ever unleashed. It's dynamic light danced on the outline of an antique armchair that was occupied by a partially disguised figure, hidden mostly within its shadow.
A pair of shapely legs with an attractive nylon sheen where the only indication of the woman's identity. She sat in side profile to the fire with her legs crossed, throwing a long, flickering shadow towards Glen.
"I don't usually get many uninvited guests at my house."