DREAMS OF MATERNITY
Part One
March 23rd
My name is Stephen, I'm a 20-year-old college sophomore, and I've had a pregnancy fetish for as long as I've been aware of sex (and a non-erotic fascination with pregnant women since well before that). Sorry if that sounded like an introduction at a support group, but I almost feel like a support group is what I need at this point. How the hell am I supposed to get with a pregnant woman?
I've never had a serious girlfriend. I'm not even sure I want kids, never mind knocking someone up in the foreseeable future. I'm not super comfortable seeking out a pregnant escort, even if they were at all easy to find. Jerking off to pregnant porn isn't quite cutting it for me anymore, and I feel truly desperate to do something with my desires as they creep closer and closer to obsession.
There's an avenue toward realizing some of my fantasies that I've yet to explore, though: lucid dreaming. If I can manage to learn to take control of my dreams, I can have dream sex with pregnant ladies to my heart's content. Nightly, even. It's not the real thing, but I think it's the best I can do at the moment, and I'm ready to put in the time to get it going. If I can pull it off, it will be worth just about any amount of time and effort it may require.
Starting today, I'm going for it. A lot of the advice around how to get started is to do little reality checks throughout the day, noticing your surroundings and determining whether you're currently awake or asleep. One thing you may notice, for example, is that clocks will usually look strange in dreams (and normal in waking life, obviously). If you do these little reality checks frequently enough while awake, it can become a habit you'll continue while dreaming.
Once you've determined things are too abnormal to be occurring in the real world, you can know you're dreaming while you're doing it, and hopefully manage to get some control over your dreams in the process. Focusing on what you want to dream about as you fall asleep can supposedly be helpful, too (and should be a pleasure!). Control achieved, I can start fucking pregnant women all night long. With time, anyway: it's not known to be a short (or particularly easy) process.
Keeping notes on any and all dreams you can remember is supposed to help you take control, too. That's what this diary is for: I'll record all I can remember in my journey toward fucking pregnant women while I sleep. I'm excited.
April 3rd
I had my first bit of lucid dreaming success last night! Modest, admittedly, but I did achieve a bit of control. I was in a supermarket and, performing a routine reality check, discovered the writing on the cereal boxes was nothing more than squiggly lines. Elated to have realized I was currently dreaming, I rushed around the store, starting conversations with everyone I saw. Their responses were...weird. For instance, I said "How are you?" to one elderly woman, and she pointed to the ceiling and said "Toads. All toads." So, yeah, talking to dream folks may not be a particularly fruitful avenue.
I managed to stay in the dream for what felt like 5-10 minutes, starting bizarre conversations with a number of fellow shoppers. However hard I tried to will it, though, I could not find anyone pregnant. Bummer on that front, but awesome that I finally got somewhere with being aware while within a dream!
April 8th
Another step forward last night! Excitingly enough, this dream was set within a maternity ward, precisely the setting I'd been fantasizing about while drifting off to sleep. I realized a problem in my strategy pretty quickly, though: I've never been to a maternity ward in my life, and thus had no frame of reference for what it would be like inside. The setting would presumably guarantee some preggos to be found, but, per my subconscious mind, the ward was pretty close in vibe to a deserted mid-sized airport. No fucking idea why.
It was pretty frustrating, knowing I'd managed to conjure the facade of a promising setting but failing miserably at finding another living soul, never mind anyone pregnant. Progress has been made, though, I'd say. I did choose the setting the dream took place in, even if I'd done so without putting enough thought into it. If I can get where I want to be again (and choose a place I can more easily imagine), I don't see why my brain couldn't take a few more steps and come up with a pregnant woman for me to interact with. Fingers crossed for next time...