Caught off guard, Sebastian instantly thought of Mr. BDSM, someone he hadn't given much thought to lately. But now he remembered the red flag that was raised in his mind the last time Sally mentioned her "new guy". Before Sebastian could think of something to say, Sally hurriedly opened the door and walked out.
He stood there in the living room dumbfounded, reminiscent of the first time they actually met. It seemed like a lifetime ago, although it was only months. Sally had come over expecting one thing; he told her he was an escort; she asked how much he charged; he told her; then she walked out.
Getting his bearings straight after a few seconds, he walked over to the couch and sat down to finish his wine. Again, his thoughts wandered back...
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Sebastian grew up an only child, and felt his dad hadn't quite spent enough time with him and mom. But the young boy learned early on to keep quiet about the matter, as he grew content simply having his mother all to himself. In fact, he never felt much need for friends outside of school, because his mother, so young and fun, was his very own playmate. He preferred her company to anyone else's.
When it was just the two of them, Veronique would speak to her little boy in French. It was sort of a secret bond that held them together, and extremely close. It was only when her American husband was in the room that she would speak in her heavily accented English.
When Sebastian was six years old, Dan had taken over his parents' tile manufacturing business, which meant he would be working more and more at the plant office. Consequently, Sebastian's mother, who doted on her baby boy from day one, gave him even more of her Mommy attention.
Since Veronique had become a mother while still in her teens, Sebastian had quite understandably become the object of envy amongst his small circle of friends, those lucky enough to be invited over to his house to play, and to meet his pretty mom.
When Sebastian was twelve, Veronique found out that Dan was having an affair. It was actually the other woman, one of Dan's employees, who called the house landline and told her about it, and when Veronique confronted her husband, he didn't bother to deny it. Veronique even thought, "How stupid could he be? Didn't he ever hear the saying, 'Don't shit where you eat'?"
Being a woman of high romantic ideals, she saw no reason to remain with a man who was not totally devoted to her.
At the time, the family was living in a house once belonging to Dan's parents, so Veronique decided she would be the one to move out. She took Sebastian with her. Despite Dan's suggestion for her and their son to remain at the house while he himself moved out to a small place close to work, Veronique declined. Her fierce pride had prevented her from accepting his offer, because she knew he made it out of guilt. She knew he wanted to be absolved of that guilt, and she was damned if she'd give him the satisfaction.
In a year's time, Veronique was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.
Within a few months, Sebastian was back to living with his father again. At that time, the young boy struggled to sort out his feelings, as his life was unraveling right before his eyes. It seemed the universe was throwing him a curve ball, and he had no idea how to deal. What's more, although he loved his dad, Sebastian couldn't identify with Dan at all. His father's astute business acumen and workaholic schedule didn't make any sense to the boy, who was more the artistic sensitive type, like his mother. Sebastian truly felt he and Veronique had a psychic bond that no one, not even his dad, could break.
Sebastian visited Veronique frequently at the hospital, especially during her final days. After school, Dan would drive him over so that he could spend as much time with her as possible, after which Dan would drive back to the office and finish out his 14-hour workday; Sebastian would sit at Veronique's bedside, often holding her hand. Only when she was injected with strong painkillers and therefore sleeping peacefully, would he then allow himself time to do his schoolwork. Hours later, after his father finished at the plant, he would then return to pick Sebastian up and head home.
Veronique died when he was fourteen years old.
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Soon after her death, Sebastian caught the acting bug. By being an actor, perhaps he subconsciously felt he was carrying on his mother's legacy, and he somehow felt closest to her the moments he was on stage. In a way, for him, part of her was still alive (although as of late he was doing more behind the lens voiceover work than in front of the lens acting). No matter, it paid well, and it didn't leave him constantly waiting by the phone.
As he poured himself a second glass of wine, Sebastian thought back a few months, thinking back to the first time Sally called and returned to see him. It was over a week after her initial visit to his apartment.
He was hopeful that it would be the same this time around. So, despite being tempted to call her after she took the money, Sebastian determined to bide his time, waiting at least a week, for her to come to her senses. He figured that she needed time to really think about him; about what she actually meant to him to the point he had gathered up all the money to pay her back. Surely it was proof that he hadn't just wanted her for the money. In fact, during the months apart, there wasn't a day gone by that he didn't think of her.
He especially cherished the time she cradled him in her arms and let him suck on her breast, while she slowly stroked him, and then later fervently jacked him off. The sublime encounter had left quite an imprint on Sebastian's psyche. It was as if all the emotions he had repressed after Veronique's death had come gushing back. So many years of love, adulation, sadness, anger, despair, and longing had been bottled up, that it was no wonder he felt incomplete after his mother passed; that is, until he was lying in Sally's lap. Looking up at her while suckling on her breast, lying safe in her arms, while she brought him to orgasm, was exactly what he needed to feel whole again. At the moment he ejaculated on Sally's hand, he realized he could once again feel the same security and joy he had only felt when his dear mother was alive.
Sebastian longed to feel that same sense of absolute fulfillment again. And it didn't matter that the female who made him feel this way was actually a girl younger than him, that she wasn't a glamorous actress or singer, that she spoke with a normal American accent, that she didn't exude the worldly sophisticated charm his rich older "escort clients" did. No. The girl who enabled Sebastian to feel a renewed sense of happiness was not even a mother herself.
He was hit with a revelation; that the special "high" he had been searching for after his mom died would not come back with alcohol, or cocaine, or any other drug for that matter. It would come back with a person.
Although she hardly embodied the Nurturing Mother archetype to a normal observer, in his mind, Sally was the be-all and end-all.
(The fact that Veronique had breastfed him until he was two years didn't help matters in that regard. Apparently, when he was little, in between playing with building blocks and toy soldiers, Sebastian might have squeezed in some casual reading of Freud and Jung).
A week went by, and no call. It was all he could do to stay sane. He was at his wits end.
He could hardly wait anymore.
He'd be damned if he'd let her slip away.
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Sally had gotten into the habit of screening her calls. With reluctance, Sebastian left a dreaded voicemail, "Hi Sally, it's me." Slight pause. "I can't stop thinking about you, baby; that's the fucking truth. Please, Sally. I can't stand being away from you anymore. I don't know what I'm liable to do if I don't see you." Click.
Sally was tempted to delete the new message flashing on her phone, but since she was still in bed that morning and in no particular hurry, she clicked on the message.
She grew alarmed. But at the same time, she wondered, "Is he being dramatic because he's an actor, or is he simply coming clean with his feelings? Will he actually do something rash? What if I ignore him and then he does something crazy? Will it be my fault?"
Sally's thoughts then meandered to Mr. BDSM, at which time many questions surfaced. "How would he like it if I went to see another man, if only just to talk?" Actually, Sally could answer that question herself, "He wouldn't like it one bit, because it meant I went behind his back, blatantly defying his orders. If he actually found out after the fact, forget it. BDSM's fiery temper would make him go ballistic on me; and maybe on Sebastian, too. And it wouldn't matter one damned bit if Sebastian and I had just talked and not fucked."
Sally reflected some more. "But then again, the last time I saw BDSM, I didn't even get to suck his cock, and that was the reason I hooked up with him in the first place; I wanted dick to suck on a regular basis. Doesn't he even know I crave it? Doesn't he realize how much I need it?"
