"Holy shit," I said to myself, as I sat there in my car and watched Rick ride off on his motorcycle. My heart was beating just a bit faster than normal and I felt the beginnings of an erection. It's not that this was the first time I had ever imagined my wife with another guy. I had occasionally imagined what it would be like if Rachel cheated on me, but the thoughts were always in the abstract and focused on what it would mean to our relationship and marriage. This was the first time I had thought about a specific guy, someone I know, and pictured them fucking. I took a deep breath and started the drive home. The thought of Rachel giving herself to this young, athletic stud distracted me the whole way home. I'm actually lucky I didn't run a red light on the way.
I arrived home to a normal Monday night scene at our house. Both kids were nowhere to be seen, presumably holed up in their rooms. Rachel was in the kitchen waiting for some water to boil, a mug and tea bag at the ready. "Hey, my love," she said. "There's some chicken and rice in the fridge if you're hungry."
I said nothing, just walked over to her and kissed her on the head. She responded with her beautiful smile. I still had Rick on my mind, even more so now that I was with Rachel. I needed to stop picturing them together or I was in danger of getting more than just the beginnings of an erection, and she'd pick up on my obvious change in behavior as I would try to hide my arousal. "Shit! What the hell is going on with me," I thought to myself.
Mercifully, her water came to a boil. She poured it into her mug and took off in the direction of our bedroom. I distracted myself by heating up the leftovers and eating. Afterwards, I went to the bedroom and noticed she had changed into the usual comfy jogging pants and t-shirt that she prefers as pajamas, and was relaxing on the bed with her tea, watching the drama series she had been into lately. I grabbed some clean underwear and jogging pants myself and ducked into the bathroom for a quick shower. After showering, I jumped into bed next to her and grabbed her remote control. She only jokingly protested as I turned off the TV and proceeded to make love to her. I just knew that some spontaneous sex with the woman I live was the sure-fire way to take my mind off of Rick.
It wasn't.
The sex was great. But my damned brain couldn't stop picturing Rick with his perfect athletic body driving my Rachel to orgasm. Lucky for me, I didn't need to hide it from her. Strangely, the combination of trying trying to fuck my way into forgetting the vision of Rick with Rachel, along with the extra arousal that vision stirred within me, resulted in a perfect storm as far as she was concerned. We were in the missionary position when I finally came hard and stayed inside her as she loves me to do. Her face was deeply flushed as she smiled and looked into my eyes. "Wow! What got into you tonight, love?" she said with a satisfied sigh.
"Just you," I lied. "I love you, Rachel."
"I love you too," she said. "Stay inside me a while."
Eventually we separated, went through our usual post-sex cleanup rituals, layed back down, and kissed each other goodnight. When the lights were out, to my dismay I found myself thinking of Rick again. Just Rick, his tall, muscular, athletic body. The next thing I knew, I had a raging hard-on. I barely slept that night.
All the next day, I couldn't get the conflicting thoughts of Rick out of my mind. I thought about what he told me, that he considered me a cuck. That thought contrasted big time with my own image of myself. I had always considered myself an average, but thoroughly masculine man, sexually attracted to women, into cars and motorbikes, outdoor sports, electronics, etc. You know, typical man stuff. Why did he peg me as a cuck? Yet here I am, unable to get him off my mind, turned on by not only the thought of him with my wife, my love, but also seemingly just turned on by him and his young, strong body and persona. This was troubling. Rachel always saw me as "her man." And I always liked the feeling that gave me. Yet here I was, looking up to a younger, physically superior stud, picturing him with my Rachel.
I didn't know what to do about these thoughts..
Figuring that I could just forget about it, on Wednesday night, I took my son to his soccer practice and just hung out with some of the other dads, skipping my usual gym time.
But avoidance didn't work. I couldn't get these conflicting thoughts of Rick out of my mind. If anything, I found myself obsessing about Rick more and more as the week went by. Was I going crazy? I couldn't confide in my wife, obviously. Did I need to see a psychologist or something?
* * * *
It was Monday. A week had gone by since my trip to the coffee shop with Rick. I had to tell myself, "be a man, get your shit together, and go to the gym like nothing happened." If I didn't do that, I really was some kind of scared little cuck.
I dropped Max off at soccer and asked if he could get a lift home with one of his buddies. He said, "actually I was gonna walk over to the library and meet Jason. We have a biology project we need to get done."
I got to the gym and did my usual 20 minutes on the stationary bike and then moved on to the rowing machine. After a couple minutes rowing, I noticed Rick walk by on his way to the locker room. He made eye contact with me and nodded "hi." I thought I detected the hint of a smirk. I didn't see him again after that. After my 20 minutes on the rowing machine, I gathered up my towel and phone and wandered over to the drinking fountain for some cold water. As I was taking my drink, I noticed someone in my peripheral vision and Rick's voice, "where the fuck were you on Monday?"
I looked up to see him with his infectious, friendly smile. My heart was beating fast, because of his tone of voice, which I only now realized was a playful, mock anger. Relieved, I stammered, "oh, ha, I just, um, I just had some errands to run."
"Hey, just messing with you," he said. "Got time for Starbucks, or do you gotta get home to the wife?"
"No, I can grab a coffee," I replied. "I usually pick up my son from soccer practice after working out, but he's meeting a buddy afterwards to work on some school project. Are you heading out now?"