He's a good husband and I love him. I wouldn't say I'm always sexually fulfilled, but he takes care of me, he makes me laugh, and we are quite happy together. If there is one thing standing between me and total marital bliss, it's our sexual incompatibility. Me--I just want a cock inside me. I'm pretty old fashioned that way. Hubby? Well, let's just say he's a little more "complicated".
But we should probably start at the beginning.
I was a high school senior when we met. He was in college. I guess his "fondness" for what he refers to as "classy" underwear wasn't entirely his fault. Growing up in the 80s and attending a private school with a fairly conservative dress code combined to set his expectations pretty high for what "real" women wear. Dresses or skirts were mandatory for girls, shirts and ties for the boys. Denim was a sign of rebellion and was definitely not allowed, so boys wore nice slacks and girls were forced into rayons and polyesters and whatever else that decade had to offer. Once the kids hit high school, the girls slowly began to realize the seductive power of their clothing choices. Dark nylons smoothed over the legs of any fashionable, attractive girl, and although their skirts were required to extend below the knee, there was no rule against slits, which inevitably served to give the boys very intentional peek-a-boo glimpses of their lace-trimmed slips. My husband was a good boy and never did much beyond fantasizing when it came to whatever other mysteries might be hidden under those dresses. Since he came of age in a world before the internet really existed and porn was never just lying around his strict Mormon home, the only clue he had about women's under-things came from the Sears catalog, which he studied regularly. His pubescent mind was filled with page after page of shiny, satin briefs and bodysuit girdles. As far as he knew, this is what all classy women wore (along with the slips and nylons he was already more than aware of). In fairness to him, it probably wasn't just his warped fantasy. Most feminine, attractive girls at the time--and especially in that school--probably DID wear those things.
As much as I complain about it now, I probably actually added to this expectation of his. My family wasn't Mormon, but we did attend church. I went to a private Christian school (in a different state) and therefore had a closet full of Laura Ashley dresses and drawers of white nylons and floral-print satin panties (it was now the early 90s). As he was now attending college away from his family, he was a little more free to meet people "outside the church". Oddly enough, he actually met my mom first, who introduced him to me. My parents liked him since he was a polite, hard-working young man, and they didn't mind at all that he showed interest in me. We started dating. I was a horny 18-year-old. He was a couple years older and I'm pretty sure never really had a girlfriend before. I knew, given his family background, that the chances of him actually having sex with me before we were married were slim to none. Fine. Hands on me then. Hands will work for now. And his mouth. For the little experience that his mouth probably had, he figured it out pretty quickly. But he wouldn't come right out and just make out with me. I always had to seduce him. And I knew what he liked. Out came my entire arsenal of Sears catalog wonders. He loved the feel of my slip sliding over my lycra bodysuit as he ran his hands down my sides. Stopping at my ass, he would squeeze my eager cheeks through the satin and nylons while his tongue moved expertly inside my mouth. He would almost lose his load sometimes as he stuck his head under my ridiculously full dresses and kissed my young tummy at the tops of my pantyhose. This isn't what I would have chosen to wear normally, but whenever he came around, these clothes ensured his hands and mouth were all over me. That Christmas, unbeknownst to my parents, I got him several pairs of silk boxers. When he would do a good job of making the date worthwhile for me, I would reward him with a nice, slow hand job while I continued to let him look at and feel my layers of underwear. In retrospect, this has only come back to haunt me. But at the time, it got me what I wanted.
We were married the next year and I was eager for a good pounding at least two or three times a week. After all, I've waited 19 years for this. To my disappointment, he seemed just as happy making out like we always had. It's not that he minded having sex, but by his own admission, he didn't last very long and then it was all over. I was hardly even warmed up when his face would contort, he'd let out a grunt, and the only thing left for him to enjoy was my look of disappointment as he sheepishly tried to coax his manhood back to life. Hardly the stuff of a good porn story. He liked to make it last as long as it could and I did appreciate that. He would kiss me, suck here, nibble there. He gave great cunnilingus. I enjoyed all of it, but the one thing he didn't want to do was end the ride by sticking his cock in me. And the one thing I wanted? A cock in me!
Our marriage is strong and we love each other. Married life was wonderfully happy, but sex was lacking. Not absent. Just lacking. Once we were married, I didn't feel it necessary to keep dressing like a church girl. Pantyhose were definitely out and anything satin was traded in for much more practical cotton. As could be expected, this made him less interested, which I found frustrating. Why should I have to wear this stuff for my husband to find me attractive? I tried to seduce him like I used to, but this time without the top-drawer treasure trove of intimate apparel. One day I set up a game of strip poker that I would of course lose on purpose. I lost enough hands to get my pants and shirt off, exposing my quite functional cotton briefs and utilitarian bra. Throw one more hand, I thought, and it's crazy, mad sex for the next two or three hours. Imagine my surprise when I lost the hand and he actually started asking me to put things on! Pantyhose? Lingerie? I'm not throwing poker hands to put more clothes on! I want to be naked! Why doesn't he want me naked? This is the point that I started realizing my husband had a fetish. Hard core. All those years of private school. All those girls in slips and nylons. Shoot! My own seductive underwear choices when we were dating. And now my husband's view of womanhood and femininity is completely and utterly wrapped up in underwear!
But I was only scratching the surface.
I knew what he liked and would occasionally comply as we went out for a date. But I always felt self conscious. Nobody else seemed to be wearing pantyhose these days. So I would wear them for him, but then I would wear high boots so nobody could see them. Even the slips made me feel awkward. "Why?" my husband would ask. "Me and you are the only ones that know what you have on under your dress." I knew he was right, but I still hated wearing it and I felt like every person in the restaurant could somehow see through my dress and they were inwardly laughing at my ridiculous get-up. The slip would get all twisted, the panties were never cut right, nothing worked. He would buy me expensive--and at times exotic--lingerie. If I wore it at all, I would capitulate by putting it on right before bed. "No," he would whine, "I thought you could wear it under your clothes when we go out." What was his deal? He told me repeatedly that he didn't just want me to wear that stuff, he wanted me to WANT to wear it. In his mind, this was feminine. This is what women did. He wanted me to be a girly-girl. He wanted me to be feminine. I was supposed to be wrapped up like some sort of Geisha girl, ready to be slowly unwrapped layer by ridiculous satin layer when the time came. He wanted me to be the kind of mysterious, demure girl that just wore this stuff because that's who she was. But that was NOT who I was. Not that he was overly demanding or abusive or anything like that. Again, we were happy. But without all the appropriate underwear, I just couldn't seem to get him turned on.