"Rima, what were you and that imbecile Sachin thinking? Some low class dance show. Do you know what family you married?" My former mother in law was always quick to remind me that I never truly belonged with her family.
Most people on the outside do not understand that you are never truly an insider in Bollywood unless you belong to a small group of families who are all related and married to each other. They are the elite. The rest of us have to work for what we have and it can easily be taken away.
You see my in laws were the elite Bollywood royalty and they saw me as trash. Their golden boy had taken a liking to me when I was at my peak and soon we were married against his family's wishes. They saw me as a witch that had cast a black magic spell on their son. I never felt like I belonged in the family and it was made clear that I was not good enough for their family at every opportunity.
They threw me out the first opportunity they had and they took most of my money and blacklisted me from the industry.
"I am no longer married into your family. You lost the right to question my decisions when you threw me out and blacklisted me," I replied forcefully.
"Darling, don't be silly. Your name will always be tied to ours now that you regrettably gave birth to our future heir. You simply need to agree to give up your rights and you will be looked after," she replied referring to my son.
We were in a bitter custody battle and I was only allowed to see my son for brief day visits. This only added to the sting of her words.
"I don't want anything to do with your name. Your son abused me for too long. I just want my own son back so he does not grow up to be like him," I said as I cut off the phone before she could reply in her gaslighting manner.
"Fucking cunt!" I screamed in my suffocating Mumbai apartment.
After my guest appearance it took a few weeks to sort out the legal details before I was confirmed as a permanent judge and joined the show full time.
The show involved a lot of travelling and most of my week was taken up by the promotion. I tried to put the dread of meeting Dev to the back of my mind but it would crop up in strange ways and particularly when I was horny or when I milked my breasts. There was a particular fantasy I had about him and it involved him ejaculating that thick creamy cum inside of me while he milked my breasts. I don't know why this older man was on my mind in such a way. I should have been repulsed by him but I was fantasizing about being impregnated by him. I had not been on the pill for a long time and therefore the risk of becoming pregnant was high.
The first few days of the tour went well and he was behaving himself. He was almost too well behaved and I wondered if I had done something to lose his interest. There was a building sexual frustration within me and this was only added to by my leaking breasts.
On stage was where some of this frustration came out as a few of our exchanges became heated and the writers helped us with our digs at each other. It was good for ratings and audience reactions.
We had been on tour for 2 weeks with 2 shows a week and a lot of local television and radio promotion in between. So there was very little respite to rest and recuperate.
I was naturally drawn to Dev as he was the older more mature member of the team. He wore a lot of hats and basically ran the show. Gaurav was a manchild. He was only 4 years younger than me but acted like someone in his early 20's. It grated me so much when he referred to me as aunty. Sonakshi was a brat that thought she knew everything. She did not show the respect I expected and she behaved a little cheap and easy. She was always fawning over Gaurav like he was a superstar and I noticed how she always praised Dev and tried to flirt with him. There was a building tension with Dev and I almost wanted to test why he was being so aloof all of a sudden.
I had needed to pump my breasts daily after Dev helped unclog them and my milk began to flow more regularly. I only had a manual pump at the moment and this was causing frustration due to our busy schedule.
*****
Dev
My mind had shifted since the events of the elevator. There was something about Rima, the little I got, the more I wanted.
There were subtle hints that she enjoyed my attention and wanted it but her reactions were strong in rebutting my advances. She had been guarded and keeping her distance since returning to the show.
I decided to change tact and I wanted to behave like a gentleman and gain her trust. She had long term potential and now that we were working together on a more permanent basis, there would be many more opportunities.
We had spent the day doing the local television circuit and after 4 interviews we had retired to our rooms for a while.
I was looking at the room service menu when my phone rang. It was a number I had not saved or recognized but I was always receiving calls so I didn't think much of it.
"Am I speaking to Dev? The producer of that wretched dance show."
The caller had an air of arrogance. Not too dissimilar to Rima herself.
"Producer, creator and lead judge. And the show is Dance X. Who do I have the pleasure of speaking to?"
"Don't patronize me. You silly little man. You are speaking to Reshma Sinha. Do you know who I am?"
Immediately the name sprang to mind and the family it was connected to.
"Who doesn't know the Sinha clan? What has made you call me today? The weather?"
Rima's former in laws were calling me and they were about to place me back into Rima's personal space when she had tried to shut me out.
"There is something you need to know about me, I don't play games and I don't make small talk with little men." She was beginning to grate me the way she was calling me small but I knew these old Bollywood types.
"So lets get to the point, how can I help you?" I replied through gritted teeth. I decided to record the call at this point.
"You have hired my stupid little former daughter in law. I need you to quietly remove her from the show. This is causing quite the scandal in our circles. Of course, you will be compensated financially and you will have a few real stars appearing as guests. You won't need the stupid little girl," she offered.
I did clarify the amounts and it was a generous package but I was well compensated anyway. This was a new world and these people were old money.
"I will need some time to think about it," I said as I ended the call.
I licked my lips as I played the recording. I began to understand that Rima was being blacklisted from the industry and I finally felt like I was understanding her.
I called her straight after.
"I need to speak to you now," I said.