The football coach stormed into the President's Office. With his face turning shades of purple, he screamed, "I will NOT let cheerleaders use our varsity weight room! Look at this letter! 'Since our prior attempts at settling this issue informally have been unsuccessful, this letter is a formal notice that the University Cheerleading Team is requesting access to work out at the varsity team fitness center at the Varsity Field House. Please be aware that we are prepared to pursue all remedies available through Title IX.' This sounds like blackmail."
"Now, Coach Murphy, please have a seat and take a deep breath. The main campus student fitness center has become much more crowded this year due to the success of our fitness promotions and intramural competitions, so the University-level teams do need to use separate facilities. Furthermore, I've seen the letter and discussed it with our legal counsel. Coach Cortez is well within the law to request access..."
"But that varsity weight room is for my football players! They're the elite athletes on campus!"
"Coach Murphy, first, please remember that the football program only survives because of some creative accounting arrangements with the alumni. You definitely do NOT want outside lawyers nosing around into your program and ferreting out the schemes that keep your funding well above the women's sports. Second, Coach Cortez has taken the Cheerleading Team to Nationals eight out of the last ten years, but your football program hasn't even been competitive in their league once during that time. You might want to rethink which team should be treated as 'elite athletes'."
As he strode out of the office with a nasty scowl, Coach Murphy threatened, "I'll give them access, but I suppose if they don't like it the first time, they won't bother coming back!"
The cheerleading team arrived at the Varsity Field House the next day wearing campus logo tee-shirts and sweatpants. If the rumors were true, this gym had truly professional equipment, and they were eagerly looking forward to their first workout here. When they entered the lobby, however, ten burly football players moved to block the door of the weight room, crossed their arms across their chests, and glared down at the girls.
Liz, the squad captain spoke up, "Look guys, we think you're great. Remember, we're the ones who are at the games every week to support you. We gave you your privacy up here as long as we could, but the main gym is so crowded this year that we won't be able to get into top shape for Nationals. We're a varsity team and we need to use the varsity gym."
Josh, the football team captain retorted, "Hey little girls, why don't you just go back to your dorm rooms and find some pink dumbbells and stretchy bands."
"Look, pound-for-pound, I'll bet we're stronger than you. If we prove that we can outlift you, will you let us work out in peace?"
"Bring it on, babe! 'Cause when you can't, you'll have to slink back to the main campus pits in shame."
"Let's go," Liz declared. "I'll even let you pick the lifts."
"Bicep curls, bench press, and leg press," Josh sneered.
"OK, so which of you guys have the best in each of those?"