The Coffee Shop
Alexa arrived early and by prearrangement ordered both of the coffee drinks. As she sat in the booth she thought about how this morning might unfold. She had been acting as a confidant to both Jim and Tera and each was aware of her separate conversations with their spouse.
Alexa was acutely aware of how rapidly Tera and Jim's relationship had shifted towards a Female Led one and her sense was that future developments were highly likely to accelerate further changes at an even more ambitious pace. She unconsciously allowed her tongue to brush her upper lip. She wouldn't deny, nor did she feel any shame, that Tera's taking control over Jim was exciting her. She wondered how much further Tera could extend her will over Jim. Alternatively, observing Jim's reactions were fascinating and a testament to the capacity for human behavioral change.
Looking to the entrance of the coffee shop she leaned to the aisle side of the booth and raised her arm signaling an "I'm over here wave".
"Good morning, Alexa. How are you?"
"Quite well. It's nice to have an open day on my schedule and I've been looking forward to spending some time with you this morning. So, tell me, how is everything going, Jim?"
"Um, okay, good, I guess. Strange, too." Jim seemed nervous as he looked around the seating area to see if he knew anyone else. Alexa noted the flushed color of his face and thought it 'cute' that he appeared a bit embarrassed. Her emerald green blouse was cut just a bit lower than her usual tops offering Jim just a glimpse of the top of her perfect medium sized breasts. Her natural raven like dark hair, the emerald green top, and her white skin with a necklace of dark stones were impossible for anyone to ignore, let alone a man. Alexa was beautiful and smart, and always a presence in any social venue.
After some brief chit chat Alexa nudged open the door to learn the real reason that Jim had suggested meeting her. "So, what's on your mind, Jim, you look a bit frazzled?
"Okay, so, Alexa, the thing is...how do I say this?"
"Simple, Jim. By just coming out with your feelings."
"Yeah, but, that's not so easy for me. I'm a guy, right?" Jim's nervous laugh spoke to his anxiety of the moment.
Alexa smiled for Jim to continue.
"Well, you know how things have been changing for Tera and I...you know, in the bedroom, and, um..." Jim's face was scrunched up and he actually looked a bit pale.
"Jim, you make this far too hard for yourself. Give yourself some space to explore your world. Or, looked at another way, tell me one thing that has happened that has changed anything on a permanent basis. Just one."
Jim laughed, "True, true. Ok, let me try this, again. Uh, it has to do with I guess my sexuality and what it is to be, well...a man. I feel like I'm blurring the lines when Tera and I ...play the games, not games, but, switch roles. That's it, it leaves me confused. Not really confused, I mean, I know I'm a heterosexual man...I'll always be that, but, I hate it that I even have to question it. You know what I'm saying?"
"I think so. You're uncomfortable playing in a way that doesn't conform to the only thing you've ever known. And, that is to be expected."
"Tell me, Jim, how long have you and Tera been 'experimenting' with your sexual play?"
"I think...about 5 or 6 weeks, now."
"Ok, now, contrast that to how long you have been 'practicing' your sexuality in the traditional male role. Does it make sense that in 5 or 6 weeks you would be comfortable with roles and behavior that contradict your established norms in such a short time?"
Jim nodded clearly understanding the point Alexa was making. He let out a breath and seemed to relax with his exhale.
"So you see that when we ask ourselves to change, Jim, we are asking ourselves to stretch in a new way. That invokes push back from the part of the self that doesn't want to feel threatened in any way. The part that wants a safety net."
Alexa continued, "You need and depend on that part of your brain to alert you to danger, Jim. But, sometimes the brain can falsely tag something dangerous when looked at another way it could be exciting. Empowering. Even giving up control can be empowering."
"Let me ask you this, What's the worst thing that can happen to you if you continue to expand your sexual boundaries, Jim?"
"Good question. Well, I can't think of anything, really. I mean, I wouldn't want this to get out of hand.
"What do you mean, 'out of hand'? What does that mean?"
"Well, you know, like, say, introducing a third person for example. I mean I might be okay doing these things with Tera but I wouldn't want to go beyond the two of us. And, that's just it, I don't know how far she will go. Alexa, she is like...like this wild and unpredictable unleashed woman in the bedroom. She is so energized and controlling. Well, it's sort of scary."
"Scary?"
"Yeah, somewhat, in a way."
"Is it more scary than it is sexy?"
"Ha. Not really, no. Tera, well, Tera is the sexiest woman I know. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't look at her and think about how beautiful and intelligent she is. I mean, she is the woman of my dreams."
"Good, as it should be when you are married. Getting back to the 'scary'...let's take the worst case scenario, say, Tera brings a third person into the scene. What does that do to you? Imagine it."
"No way. I couldn't. I love Tera and having, you mean like another guy? Having another guy in the room, no, I would draw the line there. For too many reasons to even explain." Some of Jim's tension appeared to resurface with this new topic. Clearly the idea was abhorrent to him.
"What if, Jim, what if the third person were...a woman?"
"A woman? Oh, well, geeze, um, I don't know, Alexa."
"Is it still scary? You have to imagine it. Then decide."
"I can't. I mean, I wouldn't know what to imagine. Too many unknowns for this brain, Alexa." They both laughed a bit with that comment.
"Hey, Jim, do you want another cortada?"
Jim looked down at his empty cup, and said, "no, I'm good, but I am going to hit the restroom."
While Jim was in the restroom Alexa ordered a tea and two biscuits. She simply looked toward the barista station and found the young barista that normally attends so well to her and made a motion. The young woman knew the signal and brought her an Earl Grey and a plate of biscuits that arrived about the same time Jim did from his bathroom stop.