Chapter Eleven: A Softhearted Dose of Strap Oil
I woke up this morning with a song on my lips, a lyrical heart and loins ablaze. My thoughts were of love and Ms. Handlesmen. I was a new man, no... a boy, born just three days ago. I was alive for the first time in twenty years. One whiff of life was all I'd needed, but I'd been allowed to hear it, see it, and taste it. I felt it with all my being and it was wonderful, beyond anything I could have imagined. I never appreciated how small I was until I discovered women and the universe. Now I soared without care, swept up in an obscene chaos that transcended time and space.
I was in love with Ms. Handlesmen and I felt, no, I hoped, she was in love with me. No other woman had ever treated me in the way she had. She made me feel like something special and I could tell she cared about me. For sure she was a bit heavy handed, but everyone has little idiosyncrasies; some of us fetishes or heavy obsessions, but... She was soft handed too. True, we had not engaged in sexual intercourse yet, whatever that meant. But even I understood that love is not dependent on sexual union. She had used her hand on me, allowed me the pleasure of using her hand and this alone endeared me to her. Oh, sure she balanced those pleasures with a good amount of pain and tons of humiliation, but these were small prices to pay the one you love.
I kept mulling these ideas over in my mind, like bad dreams I couldn't shake and good dreams I sought to continue. When allowed, my mind grappled with my sudden change in life style and profound self-discoveries. Consequently, because my mind needed to sort and analyze, it was at odds with the rest of me. The rest of me existed on the threshold of satiation and couldn't give a flying fuck about sorting and analyzing; what ever a 'flying fuck' is. My mind needed to take me aside and rationalize everything, so I kept pushing it into a closet and locking it away.
I found it somewhat easier to not play with myself this morning. Though the urge was forever gripping me, I simply subdued it with thoughts of her, Ms. Handlesmen, her words and warnings, her promises. Once again I virtually bounced to work, as happy as a lark.
Today I would be provided yet another office uniform. Maybe not my official uniform, because Ms. Handlesmen had several to choose from and was having a difficult time deciding. I guessed I would be modeling a new uniform daily until she found one that suited her, but I didn't mind.
Always prompt, I was in the secretary's office at nine sharp, disrobing. Once naked and with street clothes hung neatly, I turned and faced the secretary. I stood erect with my chest out and my hard-on in a solid salute before a lady who hadn't so much as glanced in my direction. All my actions were no more then she expected. I brought my feet and legs closer together, forcing my extremely tight scrotum into prominence. It still felt strange to be hairless, almost inhuman. When the secretary finally looked up, she couldn't help but smile. Her smile became a grin as she pushed her glasses up on her nose and ordered me into Ms. Handlesmen's office. Feeling sissified and proud at the same time in her presence, I walked with poise and grace to the door and entered, hoping my lover would be there. I found the lights low, and what I would call, romantic. I sighed with relief when I saw Ms. Handlesmen next to a beam of sunlight. It traveled from between parted drapes in a most dramatic display. I closed the door and came to attention facing her.
"Good morning ma'am," I offered in my meek inoffensive way. There was a solid beam of sunshine settled beside her and it dazzled. My hands twitched with the rest of my body and my throbbing hard-on drooled like a teething baby, but in a salute this woman had come to expect. Ms. Handlesmen picked up a cup of coffee from her desk and took a sip. I could see it was black, probably unsweetened and its aroma was as strong as her cigars. My lady was a paradox. She looked the complete opposite of the way she acted.
"Come around the desk Joey, come stand in front of me. I want you in the sunlight so I can get a good look at you," she said with a snap of her fingers. "The brightness doesn't last forever, so hurry!" She was pointing to the floor, in the center of that uneven circle of light that beamed through her window. The drapes were parted, separated and tied off, allowing for another lit stage I was expected to enter. She slid her chair back and to the side, just outside of the light. I moved quickly around the desk and into the spot, bringing my penis to stand before her. It was a puppet I prepared to put into action for her; or more to the point, a puppet she was about give life to for me.
I watched her eyes crawling up slowly along my body, carefully scanning. I stood straight as I could, pulled in my gut, stuck out my chest and then my groin. I looked down at my cruel lover in adoration, my eyes moving over the swell of her bosom, hoping I pleased her. When I spotted her left hand moving closer I pushed my pelvis forward, and in her favorite way, she grabbed my left testicle with her thumb and index finger. She worked her digits into me until an ice tong-like grip was obtained, a sure strong hold. She sent me onto my toes, the ones I learned to balance on yesterday. She got me to bend at the waist and my arms to bang against my thighs in an act of self-control. Instinctively my hands moved occasionally in defense, but I easily caught them and forced them back to my sides. A large smile spread across Ms. Handlesmen's face and I knew she was pleased, and so was I.
"Stand," Ms. Handlesmen shouted only once and I brought myself up, even as she used her fingers to make me bend. My attempts made her chuckle and I was convinced she was simply testing my love. I turned as her fingers pulled me around on my toes, in a pirouette. She continued scanning my surface with the fingertips of her free hand, tracing along with her eyes. They gently skimmed my skin and I surmised, in search of single hair that may have evaded the waxing. My mind followed the slow moving phalange as it tickled and caused me to twist about from my left testicle. With my lover holding my testicle so high in the air I felt like a freshly caught fish that continued fighting playfully, uselessly, or was it panic? My mind bounced between the fingers of both her hands and my toes' agony. By the time I finished half a rotation, I was whimpering aloud and as high up on my toes as I'd ever been. At that point, her right hand took over for her left. By the time I came full circle I was sobbing aloud. She moved me a step back and released my testicle.
"Honey, stand straight," she ordered, while watching me fight to accomplish just that. It was near impossible after what my testis had been through, but suddenly I was 'honey', and I was ecstatic. "Stand with your feet six inches apart, toes in and put your hands behind your head. Pull your elbows back and stick that little toy out for me," she ordered. I brought myself into a shaky rendition of her request, as she slipped back in her chair and relaxed. I looked down at her and found her more beautiful then ever, and I was her 'honey'. I wanted to use the word also.
My lover was poured into a form fitted business suit. A three-piece gray and white pinstriped suit, over a severely starched white dress shirt and solid burgundy colored tie. Her thick red hair was down, in a wild seductive cascade about her shoulders. Her lips and nails were done to match her tie and when she looked up at me, I melted like a snowman on a hot summer day. I wanted to roar, I wanted to beg, I wanted to command, fall to my knees and grovel; I wanted to assert myself and debase myself as never before. I still wanted her to take me home with her.