At first, I raced home every evening and played with myself, until I squirted into my favorite towel. But ejaculating became more difficult as the sessions with Ms. Monroe progressed. Sure the friendship between my hand and penis became cozy again, once I realized mom could no longer jump out from somewhere and catch me, but Ms. Monroe was seeing to that. She quickly filled my mind with knowledge of marriage, a wife's requirements and her loathing of masturbation. She referred to wives as ladies of the house, mistresses and explained to me what they expected and how I should proceed. I soon found masturbation all but impossible. Maybe it was the way Ms. Monroe explained things to me, or how well she understood my unstated idiosyncrasies. She had the most pleasant way of taking control, never demanded a thing, yet had me dancing from the ends of psychic wires.
I needed to succeed before my funds ran out, so I made every effort to learn what I could from Ms. Monroe. She knew of my problems and promised an answer.
During what would be our last formal session, my birthday, Ms. Monroe ended it with a suggestion. I should take the position as personal secretary to a very close friend of hers, the senior vice president of Biprods Incorporated. She convinced me it was the best way of conquering my fears, and then arranged the interview. She seemed truly happy for me and got me excited about the prospects of meeting and learning about women. With a tingle I followed Ms. Monroe's dictates: the practicality of anything else never entering my mind.
Ms. Monroe seemed almost as excited about the interview as I and although she told me not to be, I was very nervous and barely slept that night. Ms. Monroe felt confident my obedient nature would be pivotal in gaining employment at a company such as Biprods Incorporated. She told me to let my obedience speak for itself and took time to explain how I should dress. I would be meeting with Ms. Handlesmen first thing in the morning. The thought of an interview with a strange woman, or any woman, put me on edge even after three months with Ms. Monroe. Though I slept with my hard-on in my hand I could no longer find the dreams necessary for successful masturbation. I slept in a turbulence brought on by surging hormones and the desire to get a female pregnant. Ah, I am truly a father at heart.
I awoke early, showered, shaved and dressed as Ms. Monroe had suggested, then tried to relax until it was time to leave. It was my mom who had made me take typing and shorthand classes in high school. To her, those were the types of careers men should have. Looking back, I now realize that mom thought, or hoped, she was raising a daughter. That was one of Ms. Monroe's interpretations. It explained my mom's preoccupation with heavy handed discipline, ladled with verbal abuse, and the regular spankings I received up until the hour before she passed away. I remember looking into the coffin expecting her to jump up and apply one last whipping before she ascended to her heaven, and in a way, she did just that. I was aware enough to board the bus when it pulled up in front of me.
I stared from the window of the bus into the glow of orange morning sunlight reflecting back at me from everything. I noticed we were moving along at a rapid pace, in light morning traffic. I jumped when a pretty woman sat down beside me and flushed to her smile. I turned to the side in fearful bewilderment, as her look, fragrance and hands, called. I kept my eyes outside the bus and my outsides turned in. I noticed we were nearing my stop and excused myself while standing. It was then I discovered the bulge my hard-on produced, a rude protuberance. The pretty stranger smiled, and in a very bold way told me how interested she was in my condition. I turned my bright-red face away, shocked, embarrassed and ashamed. I realized my fears would be difficult to escape as I wiggled nervously past her intentionally erected barricades.
It was a beautiful day, the sky clear and bright blue. As I stepped from the bus, I remembered I'd forgotten to eat breakfast, or even gulp down a cup of coffee. I stood before the mountainous steel and glass building, attempting to work up enough nerve to enter. I felt my stomach growl and heard my heart pounding as I looked at my watch: eight forty-nine and my appointment's at nine. I had to be brave, take deep breaths and remember Ms. Monroe's instructions. "Promptness is very important", she'd said. Her words echoed about in my head like a tolling church bell. They banged against either side of my brain until drowning out every other sound, until I felt secure. I placed my hands over my ears and slowly caught myself, somewhat. I swallowed hard and walked up the steps, and through the revolving door.