In appearance, I am a tall, muscular man, I exude confidence in my abilities and myself. In my interactions with people, most people sense quickly and correctly that in all aspects, I am strictly a beta male. It seems I have been this way my entire life, at least as far back as I remember.
For instance, I was a straight 'A' student all through school. Why? Because my mother said I was smart and she expected my grades to prove it. I also excelled in high school sports. Why? Because it was something my father expected of me.
When I hit puberty, like most young males, I became obsessed with sex. Not only with masturbating myself, but I became hyper-aware of anything remotely sexual, from the developing sexuality of my peers, to the already developed adults that I encountered.
It was also around this time frame that I discovered one of the nearby drive-in theaters played adult movies. I quickly became a smut connoisseur of sorts. Well, as much as a teen male could by hiding in the weeds and watching the movies through a knothole in the fence.
In retrospect and possibly telling as to how my sexuality was evolving, five minutes after watching a film, I couldn't for the life of me recall any of the faces in movie, but the swell and contours of a breasts the cleft and folds of a vulva, the veined shafts of penis, those images I could remember vividly.
By the time I was graduated from high school, I had managed to have intercourse with one girl, while a couple of other girls I dated encouraged me to feel their boobs and to finger them, that's as far as they wanted to go.
My straight 'A' grades had earned me a full academic scholarship to several universities, I chose a state university four states and twelve hundred miles away from where we were currently living.
After just a few weeks of living in a two person dorm room, I found myself sitting on the edge of a bed with my roommate's cock in my mouth.
Dave, my roommate, had always seemed to come back from taking a shower wearing nothing but a towel. As he would move about the room, or sit on the furniture, the towel always seemed to separate enough to expose his cock to me.
On the day that I became his cocksucker, Dave had come back from taking a shower wrapped again, only in a towel. He had sat on the edge of of his bed facing me and let the towel fall completely open, unabashedly exposing his hardening cock to me. I was mesmerized and couldn't seem to take my eyes off of his rising penis. Dave's hand started gliding up and down the shaft of his now fully rigid cock as I continued to sit and watch him pleasure himself.
Taking my lack of protestation as his cue, Dave stood up, has hand still masturbating himself and stepped across the four feet of empty space that separated our beds. When he was standing directly in front of me with his penis just inches from my face. He pushed his cock down so that it was pointed at my mouth and told me that he was certain his cock would feel a lot better if I sucked him instead of just watching him jack off.
It was also during my first semester of college when I met a woman that officially introduced me to to my submissive side. I had taken an evening job restocking shelves at a nearby convenience store. Shirley was the evening assistant manager and in charge of our shift. She was thirty something years old, very thin, almost to the point of being skinny, dark haired brunette. She said she was originally from New York and was currently married to an Air Force who grew up nearby. Shirley rightly sensed that I would be amenable to her advances and wasted no time explaining what she wanted from me sexually. She offered to teach me everything I would need to know about being able to please a woman with my tongue and mouth. In return, and under no uncertain terms, I had to agree that my dick was never going to ever leave my pants during our trysts. She wanted to keep it so that only her husband ever fucked her.
I spent many an hour in the store office kneeling between Shirley's legs. She was a patient teacher and I learned a enormous amount about orally pleasing a woman.
Only once, about a week before the end of our time together, did she violate the rule about my penis remaining in my pants at all times, surprising me when she gave me a hand job with what seemed like almost an entire tube of Oil of Olay.
Seven months after teaching me how to please her, Shirley moved away with her husband when he was transferred out of state.
When the freshman year ended, so did Dave's college aspirations. In retrospect, I came to realize that other than the excitement I experienced each time he presented his hard cock to my mouth for service, once he ejaculated, I was as done with him as he was with me.
Fast forward to midway through my senior year, and I while I still serviced an occasional random guy, much more of my time was going to experimenting with older females. There was a club in town, not too far from the university, where women in their thirties and far older looked to hook up for one night stands with younger men.
These mature women appealed to me far more than my fellow female students. They knew what they wanted and went after it. Hooking up with these older women seemed to satisfy an innate deep need that I had to feel wanted and desired. Even if only for a brief moment.
It was against this background in my life that I met Nicole, the woman that agreed to become my wife.
I was working at a gas station right off I-57 when Illinois got hit by yet another February snowstorm. The State Police closed down all of the interstates and state roads in the area. Fortunately, there was a hotel just on the other side of the interchange from where I worked and since I lived in a nearby town, my boss handed me a hundred bucks in cash and let me off work so that I could get a room for the night. I called the hotel and managed to get one of the few rooms they still had available.
Since it was only 6:00PM, I went to the hotel bar to see what was happening. The place was crowded with stranded travelers and a few people who lived in town. The bar had a restaurant area, an arcade, a couple of pool tables and a fair sized dance floor. It was a happening place for a small town along the interstate.
I had bought a drink from the bar and walked around the outskirts of the dance floor looking for an empty table. As you might expect with the captive crowd, all of the tables were taken. I contented myself with leaning against the wall and watching people dance.
My peripheral vision picked up someone pointing at me. Turning my head in that direction, I noticed a very cute brunette, still in the process of lowering her arm, sitting with a stunning blonde who beamed the most glorious smile at me when we made eye contact. Pushing myself away from the wall, I headed over to meet them.
I hadn't made it halfway to their table before two other guys had arrived and asked them both to dance. Disappointed, I continued past their table, acting as if that hadn't been my destination after all.
I watched enviously as the two guys danced with them. When the current song ended, it seemed to segue perfectly right into the next, and the four of them continued dancing.
I wrote it off as a missed opportunity and went over to the arcade. I fished out a quarter and put it in the machine. "Wonk, wonk, wonk." the arcade game ended. As my hand reached for another quarter, my left arm was suddenly being hugged into the soft breasts of the blonde who had flashed the brilliant smile at me.
