I'm conscious that the time between chapters is getting ever longer, so apologies -- it's just a consequence of having a full-time job which involves shifts, a busy social life and the effort to fit in some training and sport (as well as finding time for an active sex life)!
*****
At the end of the last chapter I recall that I said that I had discovered a couple of things about myself, and one of those was that being slightly submissive did not have to involve pain, humiliation or aggression.
I am starting to learn a bit more about all that, and what is interesting is that in a one-on-one situation I'm both a 'giver' and a 'taker', but if I am in a group situation (and by group, I mean 3 or more), I am quite happy to become a 'taker'.
There is quite an implication to that if you are a girl like me. I am effectively giving the group carte blanche to stretch me out as they see fit, and as I am already extremely well developed in my cuntal area, it must look exceptionally obvious that I am very receptive to being reamed out which in turn always seems to encourage them to expand my horizons (and probably theirs too . . . . .).
I am finding it more of a turn-on if I am restrained in some way, so that I have little or no control over what my cunt may have to take or be subjected to.
My partner Helen (who is the mother of my bestie), is as big a deviant as I am when it comes to obsessing about being really opened up and I aspire to having a cunt that is at least as well fleshed out and industrial in proportion as hers, and we are putting a lot of effort in having me catch up with her.
To this end, we have been seeking out ever larger items to use. In Helen's case, my single hand is actually quite loose inside her, and it needs two to have a good impact, so we have been using something else which is giving us a lot of scope.
The thing is, that as much as we like being widened out, plastic is not a particularly tactile material, and although silicone is better, only one of you gets to experience the sensitivity or sense of feel. Vegetables are interesting, but the same observation applies, and from the internet we have encountered 'footing'. This has various descriptors, including the aforementioned footing, but we have also seen the term foot-fisting and foot-fucking (but not the type where the female has a cock between the soles of her feet).
I typically take a five or a six in a UK shoe size (I think that's about a 7 or an 8 in US sizes), so that should give you an idea of where we are going.
A foot is not quite as malleable as a hand in that it can't easily be formed into a tighter profile, so you have to experiment a bit in order to find a comfortable position, but 'footing' Helen has a real Wow factor for me, and I am loving it.
Over and above all of that, I remain hugely committed to opening up my own cunt to ever larger proportions. It is important to understand that this really is something that I desire and obsess over more than most 'normal' people could possibly imagine.
After a more thorough than usual fisting session administered by Helen a few weeks ago (where she got the flats of both hands into me, so not a complete double fisting, but possibly the next best thing), she questioned me carefully about how far I wanted to go, something she periodically raises.
It wasn't necessary for me to think too much about my answer, and I reiterated that I had no limit in mind, I just wanted to be as loose as I can possibly get. From memory, I think the words 'permanently gaped and hanging open, to the extent that I am conscious of my size the whole time,' were what emanated from my upper lips.
'I want to live in the knowledge that I have trained my cunt to be something far beyond what it was ever designed to be. I want other ladies to be shocked and to stare when they see me.'
It would be almost impossible to describe the feelings that shoot through me when another lady glances my way, looks away, and is then unable to resist looking again, often in disbelief.
I don't want anybody to feel bad or embarrassed for me, just to be consumed by the enormity of my genitalia. That is absolutely guaranteed to get my girly fluids swirling, and make me feel abnormally good about myself.
Such an incident occurred recently at the gym. For some reason I was there on my own. I can't remember where Freya was that evening, but I was in the shower and had just finished my hair when I noticed a lady probably in her mid-thirties almost frozen to the spot with her eyes focussed on my big sloppy slot.
She was definitely caught out, and she knew it. I guess that as I had been in the process of washing my hair, she had worked out that my eyes would be closed (or at least closed for a bit longer), and I would therefore not notice her sneaking a look. However, notice her I did, and she clearly knew she had been ensnared. But the thing was, although she managed to tear her eyes away for a second or two, she couldn't keep them away, and try as she might, she could not stop herself from looking again.
I gave her (and me!) a treat -- something to really look at, and on the pretence of washing myself, peeled my lips back with one hand while I gave myself a gentle soaping with the other.
Her right hand didn't know what to do with itself. She was engrossed only with my meaty gash (she never really looked at my face), and that right hand was hovering in the immediate vicinity of her own slit, but it was almost as if she couldn't bring herself to stimulate herself in front of me, even though I am certain that's what she wanted to do.
Even after I had finished showering and was back in the changing area, she kept stealing surreptitious glances at what to her probably looked like a piece of wreckage. I was leaking into the gusset of my tight white cotton knicks when I left the gym, and spent a good part of the evening trying to imagine if she was likely to tell her husband or boyfriend what she had seen, but more tantalisingly, how she would describe it.
I hope all that doesn't make anybody feel that I am a bad person -- more that it gives you an insight into what makes me tick.