Behavior Modification Institute Ch 08

It seemed like I was going to have plenty of time to contemplate not only why I was experiencing such arousal at being treated like a helpless infant and a domestic pet, but time to consider my future fate with Kelli. Here I was, diapered and locked in a 4 X 4 X 6 wire dog cage with a solid plastic floor and a doggie bed. I tried to ignore the sensations from my full bladder and the pressure in my bowels. I was confused that my cock was at its full three and a half inches of arousal.

Nurse Pyre had secured both of my hands in large bondage mittens that she had locked to my wrists and the mittens were clipped together across the plastic onesie over my belly. I wanted to rub my erection through my plastic pants, but I could not move the bondage mittens into the right position. I tried positioning myself so that I could hump, like a puppy dog, the doggie bed. I realized that there would be dire consequences if I ejaculated, but I just wanted a few strokes, some pleasure to take away the bitter sting of the humiliation I had suffered on the crawl from the nursery to my room. Finally I was able to work into position and I could hear the crinkle of the plastic pants as I thrust against the soft cushion of the doggy bed. Just a few humps...it felt so good...just a few...why was I so aroused? I stopped myself far short of losing my load. I knew this was the self-control that Ms. Panington and Kelli expected from me. I wanted to show them that I wasn't a baby; that I didn't have to be kept in diapers. I wanted this punishment to end.

My mind drifted back to the ordeal of getting to my room. It had been just a few minutes ago, but it already seemed like hours. After placing pink knee pads on my knees and a white lace baby bonnet on my head, Nurse Pyre had ordered me to follow her from the room, "Follow me, baby Tommy. Crawl like a baby now, wittle Tommy. That's right, crawl in your di-pee, just like a wittle baby—a wittle baby who can't control himself—come on now, baby Tommy, follow nursie." She kept on a similar banter as we made our way down the hall to the elevator. The thickness of the double cloth diaper kept my legs apart and the plastic pants made a distinctive crinkle as I crawled and they rubbed against the plastic onesie. I wanted to disappear and I dreaded any encounter with anyone.

Luckily we encountered no traffic in the hallway, but when the elevator door opened, the women I had seen earlier when Ms. Jensen brought me to the nursery were standing there. "Oh, Nurse Pyre, you've got another one who can't control his prick, huh?" one of them said, laughing and pointing.

"It's nothing that a good dose of diaper discipline won't cure, ladies. Isn't he cute?" Nurse Pyre responded, "I think we'd best wait for an empty elevator. He's about to make a stinky."

"Good idea. See you later then. Love the bonnet."

My face was burning with shame. I was determined not to soil the diapers while knowing that I could not hold out forever. I just wished that I would make it to a more private spot before the inevitable happened. We waited several minutes until the elevator door again opened and we entered a now empty elevator to make our way to my room.

Once in the room, I was horrified to see the dog cage that had been prepared for me. Of course I had heard them talk about a cage, but I had no idea that this is what they had planned for me. Nurse Pyre took her phone from her pocket and began to record a video of me, "Crawl around in circles in front of your cage, wittle Tommy, I want Kelli to be able to see this. Okay baby Tommy crawl in now, let her see how compliant you are." I wanted to protest, to shout out to Kelli and the world that this wasn't right, it wasn't fair, that I would do whatever she wanted if only she would rescue me from this humiliation. As though she was reading my mind, Nurse Pyre had said, "Remember, wittle baby, babies don't talk." Then as I crawled into the open door of the cage, wanting to hide myself from the camera, knowing that the image of my diapered rear was being videoed, Nurse Pyre had said for Kelli's benefit, "Baby is still dry, but I know he has to do a messy. And guess what, Kelli? Little baby Tommy had a stiffie when I put a diaper on him."

Then she had put the bondage mittens on me and pointed out a pair of large artificial breasts that were mounted on a rack just outside the cage. Each had a large plastic nipple that protruded into the cage. "You will need nourishment, Tommy, and we expect you to empty both breasts before you are released. And don't think that 'holding it' will be a solution for you. For one thing it is not good for your body and you will not be released from this punishment until you have filled your diaper sufficient times to please Ms. Panington," she took some baby wipes and cleaned the dried baby food off of my cheeks and chin, "And Tommy," she said gently, "A word of advice if I may, just relax and let it go." Then she kissed me on the cheek, closed and locked the cage door, turned out the light, and left the room.

All alone, it was pitch black. I was locked into a diaper, locked in a cage, I had just endured a humiliating crawl thru the halls of the Institute, my wife had just been sent a video of me in this baby get-up, and as the expression goes, I had to "piss like a race horse." I didn't think that I could pee with an erection. I knew that if I ejaculated that it would get small (er, smaller) again, but I also knew that I needed to show all these women that I could control myself, so I stopped humping the doggie bed, and waited for my erection to subside so that I could release my bladder. I was about to give in, to give up, to submit in a manner that would forever change my life.

The pain caused by my full bladder soon eradicated my erection. And the powerful urge to let go overwhelmed any last resistance, any last dignity that I had. I knew that I must do what I must do. I knelt on the knee pads that Nurse Pyre had fortunately left on me, unable to fully extend my torso in the 4 foot celing of the cage, and I let it go...and go...and go...

I was surprised by how hot my piss was as soon my dick and balls were drenched. I could feel the weight of my pee causing my diaper to sag. The sensation was...I hate to admit it...wonderful. It was such a release and such a warm embrace. I actually enjoyed it! But soon after the joy of this release I experienced a tremendous pain in my abdomen and I felt a push from the inside against my spinchter. I didn't want this to happen. Nurse Pyre would see it. She would tell Ms. Panington and Ms. Jensen. They would tell Kelli. I had to fight it. I could not debase myself in such a way.

I felt along the side of the cage with my forehead until I reached the first nipple. I raised my head and began to suck. I hoped that the sensation of sucking would soothe me and help me fight off the pressure in my belly. Plus, now that I had released my bladder, I realized my sensation of thirst. I began to suck like a baby and a warm and creamy substance filled my mouth. As I swallowed I heard the click of a recording activating and soon heard the voice of Ms. Panington in a reassuring and hypnotic tone, "That's right, baby Tommy, suck little baby, you are such a sissy, suck, suck, suck. Let it go, baby. Fill your diaper as you suck like a baby." Over and over these words looped and replayed. All at once I felt my sphincter relax, the pain in my tummy subside, and the rear of my diaper become heavy and warm. Again, I felt such an incredible relief.

It actually took me a couple moments to realize what I had done and what I would inevitably face. I had, as I had been instructed and expected, completely filled the double cloth diaper I was wearing. I knew that it would only be a matter of time before Nurse Pyre would return to inspect my diaper and she would discover what I had done. I began to realize that I had just lost all claim to being a man. I feared her return and, at the same time, I could not wait for the sound of her key in the lock of my door because it would be Nurse Pyre who would be able to unlock my cage, unlock my plastic panties, and change my diaper.

My knees ached. I wanted to sit down, but I knew that if I did so I would be sitting in—well, you know. So, I remained on my knees occasionally sucking from the nipple which would trigger the playing of Ms. Panington's hypnotic voice once again. By the time I was alerted from a dazed stupor by the sound of a key in the lock I have no idea how much time passed. A light was flicked on and I couldn't see anything for several moments while my eyes adjusted from darkness. But I heard the voices. And I knew the voices. Accompanying Nurse Pyre was Ms. Panington and Ms. Jensen as well as the Dominatrix who had been escorting the sissy maids to cooking class. They were laughing and joking and I suspected that they'd had one or more glasses of wine.

I hid my face in utmost humiliation as they entered the room greeting me like a long-lost friend, "Hi, wittle baby Tommy. We're here to see if your diapie needs changing."

Nurse Pyre unlocked the cage. In a no-nonsense tone she ordered me out. "Look, he's been sucking on the nipples. The breasts are both almost empty." Once I was out of the cage she took one hand and lifted the front of my diaper, "Oh my, he's very wet." Then she reached behind me and lifted the back of my diaper, "And very full. You gals may want to take a step back. I'm used to this, but it can be rather disgusting." Their laughter burned my ears and my cheeks were aflame as well.

Nurse Pyre was efficient as she donned long rubber gloves, lay me on a plastic changing mat, unbuttoned the crotch of my onesie, folded it up over my waist, unlocked the small padlock that trapped me in the plastic pants, and pulled them down my legs and tossed them in a bucket. Then she unpinned, one by one, the sides of my diaper. As she pulled the down all 4 women gasped, then snickered, then Ms. Panington said, "Such little self-control," and they all hooted. Nurse Pyre took a spray bottle from her diaper bag and sprayed the front of my diaper with a foul-smelling chemical. "No cummies, Ms. Panington, but there are plenty of drops of pre-cum. Either he's been aroused by being diapered or he's been humping, or both, but he didn't ejaculate," Nurse Pyre explained.

"Well, he'd be in a world of hurt had he cum; that's for sure. Maybe he is trainable," Ms. Panington responded and they all laughed.

Nurse Pyre then made quick work of cleaning me with baby wipes, powdering me, and liberally applying baby oil to my penis. Ms. Panington instructed her, "Nurse Pyre, he's been such a compliant sissy. I want you to bring him right to the edge. I want Tommy to know how good it can be for him if he learns to control himself and accept his place in the world."

My messy diaper had been removed and put in a container that had been set out in the hallway, the air had been sprayed with a powerful deodorizing spray, I had been powered and oiled, and my now dry behind was resting on the soft fresh diapers Nurse Pyre had shoved under me. And she was stroking me as the 3 other women commented on her technique, the expressions of pleasure on my face, and they admonished her not to allow me to cum. Ms. Panington spoke to me as Nurse Pyre stroked, again using the hypnotic tone that had been on the recording that played as I sucked. "You have been an inadequate lover with an inadequate penis that is incredibly small. You have burdened your wife with your premature ejaculations, and deprived her of full sexual pleasure as you selfishly masturbated while wearing her panties and bras. You are so lucky that she has sent you to us, Tommy, or you would have lost her forever. I hope you are thankful to us for training you, Tommy, and saving your marriage." Then Ms. Panington turned to Nurse Pyre, "That's enough stroking for now. Get him pinned up."

I didn't want her to stop. Nurse Pyre had been slowly stroking me with her rubber-gloved hand and she had used a liberal amount of baby oil. She looked kindly down on me with her prominent breasts pushing against her uniform. "I'm going to pin up your fresh dia-pee, wittle Tommy, nursie is going to hide your stiffie," and she pulled up the double-thickness cotton diapers and pinned each side securely. She then pulled on a locking plastic pant, this one light blue with dancing teddy bears; then she pulled down the onesie and snapped the crotch. "Here's some good news, Tommy, with the mess you just made and the enema I gave you yesterday, I don't think we'll have any more messy diapers. Not much anyway. If you do have to go, just let it go. Nursie will clean you up. And Ms. Panington will expect that you wet yourself, so drink plenty from the titties."

I wanted to thank her for cleaning me up and being so kind, but I had been warned not to talk, so I reached up and touched her cheek, smiled at her, and she smiled back. Then she directed me back into the cage, placed the bondage mittens back on me, locked up the cage, flipped off the light, and I was alone again.

My cock remained erect from the stimulation Nurse Pyre had kindly provided me. Not only that, but I was aroused by the humiliation that I had just experienced. A powerful switch had been turned on deep inside my psyche. The humiliation was like an aphrodisiac and I very much wanted to masturbate. I wanted to jerk off then and there imagining those 4 women looking down on me as I lay on a mat having my diaper changed in front of them. I wanted to jerk off and show them that I could, at least, cum like a man. I felt very dependent on these women. I wanted them to like me. I wanted to please them more than anything, and I especially wanted to please Kelli. As I thought about what they had just witnessed, their ridicule of me, the enjoyment they experienced at my expense, I wanted to jerk off.

Really, I wanted to fuck any one of them. I wanted to, like a real man would, toss them down over a desk, raise their skirts, pull down their panties, and take each one from behind. Especially Ms. Panington and Ms. Jensen—they were both such teases. But, I was of course loyal to Kelli. In all the years of our marriage I had dreamt of other women, but I had never entered another woman, never, only Kelli. Hers was the only pussy I had ever been in or eaten. And now Kelli had informed me that I would never again enter her, not with my cock anyway, only with my tongue. But a guy could dream. I wondered if a sissy's dreams would be different now that I had accepted my sissy-dom and knew that fucking was, forever, off the table. I would never again fuck with my cock. As I imagined other ways of servicing Kelli's pussy, my erection would not subside. Becoming resigned to my fate, I positioned myself to again suck one of the nipples, and I imagined that it was Nurse Pyre's tit.

As the warm liquid entered my mouth, a recording clicked on; this time remarkably it was the voice of Kelli, not Ms. Panington, "Tommy, if you are hearing this then I know that you are being diaper trained. I know that Nurse Pyre has already changed you once because I know this recording would only be played after you endure the humiliation of your wet and soiled diaper being changed in front of several women. They must have had a good laugh at your expense. I look forward to having the video sent to me," and she laughed herself, then continued, "I hope that I won't have to punish you once you return home, Tom, and I really do prefer to train you with rewards. But do not underestimate me. I will not hesitate to use the strictest form of diaper discipline with you. Ms. Panington has talked with me at some length about this training technique and she will be sending the entire batch of baby supplies home with you."

The recording stopped and I thought it had ended. I hoped that it wouldn't repeat in an endless loop because I did not want to hear those words again.

Then, in the most seductive voice the recording continued, "Tom, you will become my servant, my sissy maid. You will become expert at serving me with your tongue and various dildos and toys. I know that you will like that, Tom, I've seen the websites you were visiting, and I've seen the videos of you jerking off in my panties. By the time you leave the Institute, Tom, you will understand that your useless penis belongs to me and it will only be used to reward you when I see fit. Won't that be fun? I love you, sissy Tommy, but I think I will love you more with your tongue up my ass or on my clit." This second portion of the recording replayed each time I sucked from one of the nipples. With a clean diaper at least I could lay down. It would be a long night.