It was on the subway where I first saw her, so brashly youthful, so self-possessed, so slyly insouciant, sitting alone in the seats usually set aside for the elderly, gazing at herself in a small compact mirror she was holding. She had been applying makeup to her eyes with quick, deft strokes, and I admired how agile she was. I could never put makeup on while riding the train. My hands aren't too steady as it is, and I would feel far too exposed, doing something like that in public that I'm usually doing in the privacy of my bedroom.
The truth was, she was beautiful. I had always been fascinated with Japanese women, and Suki was no exception. Women from Japan just have always seemed so stylish, so slim, so petite; they are everything that I've always wished I was. Me, I'm a tall, gawky American woman, and I've always felt a little overgrown, ever since my breasts began to develop when I was twelve. Maybe it was all that hormone-saturated milk my mother made me drink with lunch and dinner that made me so bosomy so early in life. I don't know, but it has always been a curse to me. I've never known what to do about all the stares from men I would attract. When that happened to me as a teenager, it scared me terribly, and it some ways it's made me a little wary of men ever since.
To me, Asian women, with their small frames and narrow waists and perfect honey-brown skin, were the ideal I couldn't live up to. So I've been half in love with every Asian girl I've ever known, particularly Michiko, who in high-school had become the first girl I ever kissed. Before that I had kissed a few boys -- on bus trips and in dark closets during drinking parties -- but none of them ever made me feel anything. But words can hardly describe what I felt when I kissed Michiko that day in her parents’ station wagon. It was like discovering for the first time what pleasure really could be, what life is supposed to promise. She put her gentle lips on mine and I felt an explosion of moisture between my legs, and my whole body seemed to be swelling and blushing simultaneously. I felt magnetized, irrepressibly drawn to Michiko, overwhelmed with an irresistible urge to press my body against hers, to feel her against me, to rub her pert little breasts and kiss her all over her body.
But we were both so meek; we couldn’t follow through with it. But since then, I’ve fantasized about her constantly, bringing myself to luscious orgasm after orgasm, thinking about her lips on mine, and my hands on her body, her dark eyes and her smile, and how bright and beautiful her face was, how delicious her mouth was. I get wet just describing it now, thinking of her still, my lost Michiko. But she doesn’t matter anymore, now that Suki has come to possess me.
So we were on the subway, and after she was done putting away her makeup kit, I felt that she was noticing me as much as I was noticing her, because whenever I looked at her, she was staring back at me with a enigmatic, mocking smile on her face. I couldn’t tell if she was ready to laugh at me, or if she was, for some impossible reason, fascinated by me. She had short, pixie-like hair, straight and black and boyish, tortoise shell glasses in narrow frames that perched halfway down her button nose, and she wore a skirt with tiny open-toed black shoes that showed off her delicious toes, perfectly painted a bright shiny red. How I wanted to nibble on them, suck them until the enamel came off -- God, where do such thought come from! And she was wearing a shirt like none I’d ever seen, it fit her snuggly across her breasts, emphasizing their roundness and fullness for a woman so small, but it hung loosely around her arms and waist, and had a curious collar, slightly but intentionally asymmetrical, provocative, as it exposed a sliver of her beautiful porcelain shoulder.
I was getting dizzy just at the thought of her looking at me, I felt like I was swaying at the edge of a precipice. Finally I just dove in. I sat beside her, and she smiled at me. I told her I liked her shirt, that I never saw anything like it.
“You like it?” she said. “Thank you so much! I make it myself.” I was relieved to find that she spoke English well enough to communicate. Her voice was surprisingly sultry for someone so petite. We introduced ourselves to each other, and we made small talk. My heart was pounding in my throat the whole time, and I hoped she couldn’t tell how hard my nipples had become. It felt almost unseemly. She continued to tell me about her clothes-making for a while until finally I told her that I would love it if she would make a shirt for me.
“I would love that,” she said. “I’d love to make girl like you look nice and sexy.” She smiled with that same coy, clever look, and she shifted slightly against me. Did that mean what I thought it could?
“Well you would have your work cut out for you,” I said.
“Don’t be silly,” she growled. “Beautiful tall American girl like you,” she said, “it’s nothing to make you sexy. The whole world dreams of you.” She looked me up and down with serious look now, narrowing her eyes as she surveyed me. I felt myself blushing unaccountably. After all, we were just having an innocuous conversation. Yet I felt warm, on fire, and my pussy was getting wetter and wetter the more she looked at me. I felt that if she touched me, even casually, accidentally, I might explode. And I longed desperately for it.
I could hardly think to speak. She asked for my number, and I was so nervous I could barely spit out the digits as she programmed them into her phone. “I call you sometime, take your measurements” she said, slyly, with a definite note of salaciousness. I couldn’t have been imagining it.
I practically ran home from my subway stop to get home and masturbate. I put my hair up, dug my vibrator out of my drawer and set myself up in front of my full length mirror the way I like. I can angle the mirror down so I can watch myself, so I can see the slim vibrator slip in and out between the lips of my vagina until my clit stiffens. I lean against the wall and watch myself spreading open, wider and wider, and I imagine it is Suki watching me, smiling her enigmatic smile, saying, “you have such beautiful measurement.” My breasts were certainly larger than hers, maybe this will intrigue her, I thought. I held them up and offered them to the mirror, tweaking my nipples, which were as stiff as push pins. They felt heavy and luscious to me, plump and melon-like, and I imagine Suki, her tortoise-shell glasses on, sucking away at my nipples, pulling and tugging until it was like there was a cord connecting each nipple directly with my clit.
I put my thumb in my mouth, and imagined it was Suki’s big toe, and I sucked and sucked, closing my eyes and then opening them to see myself in the mirror, naked and languorous, pleasure roiling through me. I came like crazy, thinking of her, dreaming I was plunging my tongue into her tight Japanese snatch.