"Oh my god. I just realized something, David—did you know that to some people I'm now a MILF?"
Gorgeous redheaded Anna, who was so voluptuous she was barely fitting into her pink bikini, with her boobs spilling out the top, said this just after a handsome man slowly walked by as we were at the public pool. He had given her a look that was beyond admiration—even while she was playing with her baby Ben on the towel right next to her.
"Anna, I know you're smart, but are you just figuring this out now?" I said, in some exasperation, because she was beyond pretty, and yet very obviously a mother. And so of course she was a mother that a lot of people would love to fuck. And my secret shame was that I was among them.
It was my secret shame not only because I wasn't her husband, but because her husband was my best friend Nick. But Nick was over in Afghanistan for the indefinite future back when this happened, about a dozen years ago. But I still have a very clear memory of all of it.
Before Nick left, he and Anna had taught me how to help care for their baby, which was for now seemingly my main job in life. And that included feeding Ben lots of breast milk, both from the bottle, and by bringing Ben over to Anna's luscious, milky breasts. They didn't seem to have any problem letting me see Anna's breasts, but I was apparently maybe the only one beyond the immediate family treated that way.
When Nick left he made me promise to look after Ben and Anna. I was supposed to keep Anna from being unhappy, and I was trying—sometimes a little too hard.
As I was around Anna more and more, talking with her, getting to know her well, and seeing more and more of her milk-filled tits, I rapidly fell in lust and in love with her at the same time.
She seemed to know at least something of how I felt, and I had even kind-of told her, but most of the time she pretended not be fully aware of my longing for her.
And I pretended the same—at least some of the time.
But we kept getting closer to crossing the line until one day, when we were tipsy on wine, and her breast pump had run out of batteries, she let me nurse one of her painfully overfull breasts when baby Ben was asleep.
Did we let this happen because her breast was too full and hurt? Well, that was the excuse. But it was really because I was desperate for her breast, and for her milk—and she knew it. And she, I found out, was longing for affection and sensuality.
Anna's milk was so sweet and delicious that it's difficult to describe. It's the food of the gods, even if usually only babies get to have it.
As I nursed her that day, a week ago from the point at which I'm picking up the story, behind the locked door of her bedroom, Anna had told me at first it was only for the milk, and to relieve her discomfort. But then she got so turned on by my nursing of her tit, and how I had told her how she tasted so good, that she started fingering her pussy underneath her sweats.
Anna rapidly came, a few times, and as she did so even more milk squirted into my hungry mouth
Then she wanted to help me with my problem—my rock-hard cock under my shorts, which she could see the outlines of and feel. But I just couldn't take that step quite yet. It was partly that I was a shy virgin, but also that Nick was my best friend. And so I went into the bathroom to take care of my needy dick, calling out Anna's name as spurts of my sperm came shooting out.
From a certain perspective, maybe I didn't completely betray Nick that day. But this is the story about how slowly and surely, as more barriers broke between me and Anna, I stabbed my best friend in the back. Or, did I? As I think it over even now, trying to tell it as honestly as I can, I wonder if there's something in what happened that someone might forgive, at least a little.
Unless you'd actually met Anna and known her the way I did, anyway, you couldn't understand how it would take someone almost superhuman to resist her. Anna was not just beautiful, but kind, funny, and smart. And she was suffering....
When I'd nursed her that day and she'd fingered herself to orgasm, she told me to promise to keep it a secret from everyone. And I had agreed. In fact, she told me that even between ourselves we had to pretend that it had never happened.
And so, somehow, for a while, we did.
Remember "Doublethink" from George Orwell's "1984"? The characters have to somehow keep one idea and its opposite in their minds and in their actions at the same time?
Looking back on it, that was kind of me: doublethinking about Anna and my feelings for her, and what we had done.
On one level Anna and I both were pretending that I was still a loyal friend to Nick, a trustworthy friend, who was just taking care of his baby and lovely wife day after day, without desiring her.
But on another level—simultaneously—we both knew that I'd sucked on her breast, had felt her her sweet juice on my tongue and throat, and that my cock was straining with desire for her. And that she, Anna, had been so turned on by my kissing, and then gently nursing, and then strongly suckling on her nipple and breast, that she'd given in to touching herself, coming to a shuddering climax.
And now she was asking me if I knew she was a "MILF."
To keep up our game, I had to still pretend I wasn't one of those lusting after her, and so I retreated to an almost college-course question.
"Doesn't the term MILF bother you? It seems kind of offensive and sexist."
"Oh yeah, I guess," Anna said, looking at me with a cute pout on her mouth, "But it beats the alternative."
"Which is?" I asked, still a little exasperated, even as looking at her freckled swelling tits was in danger, yet again, of giving me a hard-on.
"A Mother you *don't* want to fuck, of course. That's what I was to Nick."
"What!?" I said it a little too loudly, in surprise and shock.
This was totally new information to me that there had been trouble in Nick and Ann's sex life, and I couldn't quite believe it.
"What?" I repeated, more quietly, after I noticed a middle-aged woman a few yards away looking over at us.
"You didn't know that?" Anna said, in almost a conspiratorial whisper, "I thought Nick would have told you that he'd lost most of his desire for me."
As Anna said this she looked embarrassed, but also like she still wanted to talk about it.
"I had no idea," I said quietly, and still in shock "Why? You're so beautiful, Anna."
I said this simply, but with such truth in my voice, that I realized, not for the first time, that I'd said too much.
"Thanks, David," Anna said with one of her ironic smiles as she glanced over at me looking at her.
She then looked lovingly down at her baby Ben, who had recently learned, at six months, how to sit up on his own. Then she said,
"David, does it weird you out to think that little Ben came all the way out of my vagina?"
She looked back up at me, studying my reaction.
"Um, well," I said, in shock again, and stalling for time, "I hadn't really thought about it much."
She was still looking at me and waiting for me to say something. I guess she was seeing if I was grossed out.
I wasn't sure what I thought as I tried to imagine a baby going through her vagina, and didn't know what to say, and so just added, lamely, "He was a lot smaller then."
"Yes you were!" Anna said in a cute baby voice, turning back to Ben, "Or else it wouldn't have been possible. No. Not possible!"
He smiled at her.
Anna suddenly turned back to me, and said, in a more normal voice:
"I think it sort of freaked Nick out. He was in the hospital room with me during labor, which took forever. There was some blood, as there almost always is. He had said he wanted to cut the umbilical cord, and he did. But he was so pale he was ashen. I think the whole pregnancy and birth thing was just a bit much for him...." Anna trailed off, again studying my face.