"Clara! Get out of that capsule!"
"..."
"There is no shame in having a crush. It's normal."
"..."
"Everything is going to be fine! Anyway, you can't hide in there forever!"
"..."
"Just come out already, so we can talk about it at least!"
Why did this happen to me? It was not fair. Yesterday, I admitted to Asha that I had a crush on Oreo, and then, everything went sideways. To make a long story short, I wanted to approach Oreo in a friendly manner and see if my feelings made sense and to inquire about hers as well, but because of an unfortunate series of events, it didn't happen.
This morning, when Lucy returned to the café, Oreo wasn't with her anymore because her shift was over. And then, the reality sank. I had to walk back to the pethouse as well, and Oreo would be there for the next few days, not hidden behind a mask, and I would have to face her. Yesterday, I was ready, but today, I wasn't anymore.
So I hid inside one of the capsule rooms located on the upper floor of the café and closed the door so nobody could see me freak out.
But my friends were clever... They knew I was in there even though they couldn't see me.
"Claraaa... If you don't get out of there, you'll be late for your appointment at the college. Remember, you have to meet with your guidance counselor today. Vix and I will walk you over there."
And I forgot about that too. I had an appointment with Tim to confirm what program I would study for the next few years. I picked finance, but I wasn't so sure anymore how good of an idea that was. In that field, I would have to talk to people all the time, and, clearly, it wasn't where my skills were. So I didn't know what to do anymore.
"That's enough, Clara! Open that door right now, or I'm doing it myself."
"..."
There was no escape possible since vanishing into thin air was not an option. My only way out was that white sliding door, and my oppressors were waiting for me on the other side. Resigned to my fate, I pressed the unlock button and cracked the panel open, just enough so I could look out using only one eye.
Asha's face was only a foot or two away from mine, and at the back was Vix, hand stuffed in her kangaroo pocket and hoodie hiding her upper face as usual.
"Clara! You can't act like that. You have to face your issues, you know."
"... I don't want to."
"Why not? If you like Oreo, it's a good thing. There is nothing wrong with that."
"... I'll... I'll mess up."
"Mess up? Mess up what?"
"... Everybody... will hate me."
"What? What are you talking about? Nobody will hate you because you like her."
"... They won't?"
"Aaah! Clara! You are always so weird. Alright, get out of there now. You are really going to be late for your appointment. We will discuss this after. We can't have this conversation if I can only see one of your eyes through a crack."
"... o... okay."
I pushed the panel open and crawled out of the capsule. Instead of helping me up, my two friends just walked out of the room. Being alone was what I wanted a mere second ago, but now that they disappeared from my sight, I had an urge to run after them. As much as I didn't want to face my fears, I knew they were the ones who could help me do it; I needed them.
"Wait for me!"
I followed them downstairs, said goodbye to Lucy, and headed out.
***
"So, Clara. I heard that you decided on your career?"
"... You... heard?"
"Yes, your friend Lian was in my office yesterday to tell me she wanted to become a nurse. And she said you wanted to become a nurse too."
"..."
"Okay... Let me guess... With the face you are making, she made that last part up just to be in the same class as you. That's what I thought."
That wasn't surprising. Accalia had an appointment with Tim yesterday and probably babbled something inaccurate about me. Because of the number of students that he sees every day, his bullshit detector effortlessly uncovered the lie. Accalia didn't really want to go back to school, and on top of that, she didn't want to be in a class filled with strangers only. I couldn't blame her for that since I had the same fears, but at least I understood that it was not how things worked.
"So, then. If you don't want to become a nurse, what did you pick?"
"... Would... finance... be okay?"
"You don't sound so sure... You know that you don't need me to approve your choice. It's YOUR choice. I will help you succeed whatever you decide to do."
"... Okay."
"What is it? You are not sure it's what you want?"
"I... I don't know, Tim. I don't know if... I will like it... or if I can do it well."
"Oh, I see. I see. Basically, what you mean is that you are a normal person?"
"..."
What kind of question was that? It threw me off balance, more than I already was. When I came here today to announce my decision to him and explain my concerns, I had expected him to prove me right. In my head, he was going to tell me that it was a terrible idea and propose a new set of options for me to choose from. But that was not what he did at all. Instead, he seemed to insinuate, through sarcasm, that my argument was flawed.
"Clara, you can't really know what you are getting into until you try it."
"..."
"Look. Just this morning, I had a student in my office. He spent two full years studying chemistry just to realize that it was not for him. So now he is moving to information technology."
"..."
"You know, young people like you rarely know what they want to do in life. Yes, some of them do, they want to be a doctor at the age of ten, but they are the exception. Everybody else is not sure about what they are doing, and that's normal. You have to try things and discover what you like the most. And even more in your case because you haven't been exposed to many things yet. From what you told me, you were quite sheltered and didn't have much opportunities or encouragement to try new things."
"... okay..."
"Allow yourself to try new things. If you want to give finance a shot, do it."
"But... What if I fail?"
"There is no such thing as failing when you try something new. That's something you keep hearing on social media, but it's not based on reality. What you have to do is to make a decision and commit to it. After that, it's just a series of different paths to follow, but there is no failure. If you don't like finance, you then make another decision. If you like it but have difficulties progressing, you make more decisions based on that. The only failure is when something is not making you happy, and you don't take action to change the situation. Since your choices are the only things that you can control, not making them would be a failure."
"Oh... I've never looked at it this way..."
"So, Clara... What do you want to do? In two days, it's going to be too late to apply to a program."
"... I... I think I'll do it."
"Finance?"
"Yes... I want... to learn."
"Great. We will fill up the paperwork then. I can't tell for sure, but I get the feeling that it's a good choice."
"Okay..."
"Oh, and one last thing... The two girls who were with you when you showed up, are they your friends?"