It was early in the morning, but Accalia and I were awake already. Wearing our cute pajamas, we were sitting on the master bedroom's big bed at the Pethouse, and snoozing between us was Trixie. The poor thing didn't sleep well because of her cast and throbbing arm. It must have been the first time that she had not attempted to do dirty things to us while not at the café. Her little naked body rested peacefully under the blanket while Accalia and I were reviewing our school paperwork.
Since we were going back to school soon, we needed to decide what career we would like to pursue, but it was a difficult decision, at least for me it was. Accalia seemed to have found the solution to her dilemma.
"Clara... I think I've decided."
"Ah yeah?"
"Yes... And it's nothing our guidance counselor had suggested. I hope Tim won't be mad for having wasted his time on me."
"Oh, I don't think Tim can get mad. He was very patient. What did you choose?"
"Well... Yesterday when I went to the hospital to meet with Lucy and Trixie, a super cute nurse was taking care of Trixie."
"..."
"I mean, her cuteness has nothing to do with it, well, maybe a little, but... when I saw her taking care of Trixie while she was in pain, I kind of thought it was cool. I think I want to learn how to do what she was doing."
"So... You want to become a nurse?"
"I think so. Do you think it's a good idea?"
At first, I was about to answer that I didn't know, but before opening my mouth, I took a moment to think about it a bit more. Since I was visiting and working at the café, I came to learn more about my friends. Even though I spent more time with them as pets than as humans, their general traits remained roughly the same in both forms. For example, Trixie the white rubber rabbit has always been energetic, playful, and kind of an idiot in a good way. Out of costume, she was pretty much the same. She kept jumping around, always tried to go on dates with me, and was more interested in getting pleasure from all her friends than bothering with empathy or compassion. Her high and fun energy was how she made people happy. So would she be a good nurse? Absolutely not. She would exhaust her patients and probably would try to have sex with the cute ones.
In the case of Accalia, however, she has always been a smart one, almost motherly like Meeka. Not as calm as Vix or Oreo, she never seemed to run out of energy to do a great job as a grey wolf. I've seen her taking care of clients for hours on end without ever losing patience, even when dealing with difficult ones. When Lucy had asked her to rush to the hospital to take care of Trixie, she didn't hesitate one second and didn't show any doubts or even worried about room number and stuff like that; I would have freaked out if I had been in her shoes.
So, yeah. Could she be a good nurse?
"I... I think you'd be really good at it, Acca."
"...aaaww... You think so, Clara?"
"Yes... I'm sure you would be an amazing nurse."
"... and you'd play doctor with me and wear a sexy latex nurse uniform while examining me in-depth with well-lubed toys?"
Of course, that last voice wasn't mine; it was Trixie's, who had just woken up and spied on our conversation. I wasn't surprised to see Trixie associating the nurse profession with something sexual. It precisely was why Trixie should never become a nurse.
Accalia rolled over Trixie and began nibbling her neck.
"Rawr! I like how you think, Trix!"
"Aaaah! That tickles! Stooop! Careful, my arm..."
"Pfff... I didn't even come close to touching your broken arm, stupid bunny. Stop being a delicate baby. How did you break it anyway?"
"I'm not even sure... I was standing on a couch trying to find Vix, and my foot got caught in a crack between the seats... I lost balance, and my arm hit the table awkwardly. Then I saw a lot of stars..."
"There you go. How many times did Lucy tell you not to stand on the couches? You never listen to her. That will teach you!"
"Pfff... She never told me not to do that."
"She tells you EVERY DAY!"
"Nope... never heard anything. I only hear her voice when she says good things about me."
I got better at socializing over the past few months, but as fun as it was to watch them play with each other like this, I still struggled to walk away from my old self. In my mind, there was no way I could have jumped into their conversation. I was not thinking fast enough, and somehow, I had this little rejection feeling lurking in my chest.
I've seen my therapist several times since I had my meltdown, and I had learned to identify those situations where I would falsely feel that I was not part of a group, but it was still hard to control. She called those hooks. My mind had been trained to be lonely for so long that being around others sometimes felt dangerous. In situations when an urge to participate nagged me, my therapist suggested that I focus on listening instead.
Trixie and Accalia had all the rights in the world to be good friends and have fun together without involving me every single time. It didn't mean they didn't like me or that they wanted me to go away. But still, I had difficulties letting this negative sensation go and occasionally felt left aside. Why was it so much easier for them?
While the two of them tickled each other next to me, something unexpected happened. The bedroom door swung open, and Misti walked in wearing her civilian clothes and carrying a small cardboard box.
"Hiii, lesbian animals!"
"Misti!?"
"That's meee!"
"You are not... working at the café today?"
"No, Clara. I got a surprise. This morning, Lucy is testing two new petgirls. So she told me to take the day off and come cheer Trixie up."
Having to deal with three petgirls out of costume at once was a first for me. Shortly after my first day at the café, Apricot the dog had left, so at any given time after that, only two petgirls were off duty simultaneously. This made me nervous because handling two was already hard, and now with Misti around, I would undoubtedly have even more trouble fitting in.
My lack of confidence aside, I was still curious about those two new trainees Misti talked about. I understood it was just a test day and that Lucy had never hidden the fact that she wanted to hire more pets, but maybe she had expedited her intentions to hire new girls because Trixie would be out of commission for almost two months, and Accalia was going back to school with me. That said, it still made me nervous. Maybe I didn't want our little group to change.
Fortunately, I sensed that I was not the only one with that irrational fear. Accalia anxiously asked a few questions.
"Did you see them? Are they nice?"
"No, they are monsters with spiky hair and horns."
"Aaaah, Misti. Seriously... How are they?"
"I don't know, Acca. Lucy never lets us see the new hires until they join for good. I only saw them in costume."
"What costume did they wear?"
"The new cheetah and Apricot's dog suit."
"Were they good?"
"Hard to tell. As soon as they walked into the lounge, Lucy dragged me out to take off my costume. I mean, they looked a bit lost, but whatever... that's normal, I guess. They are not used to being pets."
"Haha. Like Clara when she had to wear Trixie's costume."
Now they were making fun of me. I knew I was probably not as good as they were as a pet, but it was not like I would be a full-time one like them anyway. I've only done it a few hours here and there to help.
"Talking about Trixie's costume. Guess what is in the box I brought with me..."
