"Thank you!"
Wow... That came out well for once. I just ordered a smoothie from the kiosk at the mall, and when they handed it over to me, I didn't hesitate or think; the words flew out of my mouth flawlessly. Regularly talking to the pet girls was making a big difference. Saying thank you maybe was not a big deal for most people, but to me, it was a small victory.
I walked to one of the empty tables and sat there with my drink and cellphone. The goal of my visit to the mall was to shop around for a new pair of shoes. Usually, my communication disorder was in the way of such simple activities. Shopping for new shoes could be scary to me; the thought that I would have to talk to someone during the process was paralyzing me, to the point where I didn't want to go anymore.
But not today. The smoothie order was not my only victory. I also felt confident to go from shop to shop, trying to find exactly what I wanted, not just buying the first pair that fit me to avoid going to other stores.
Also, just sitting here at the table in front of the smoothie kiosk was something I would not necessarily have done in the past. I ran the risk to have someone walk up to me for a chat, forcing me to expose my disorder; like when those two girls sat at the table right behind me, some anxiety set in as if they entered my oversized personal bubble.
But I resisted. I sipped on my smoothie and checked my emails even though none of them were from people. They were either bills or online orders, which was rather sad. But while I was pretending to do that, it was an opportunity to listen to people around me and observe how they were socializing. I eavesdropped on the two girls behind me who were chatting about a new purchase.
"Why did you buy that dress anyway?"
"What? You don't like it?"
"It's not that... I'm just wondering why. Are you going on a date with a hot guy?"
"Nooo... I just like it..."
"Right! A hot girl then?"
"Nooo! I just like it!"
"So when are you going to wear it then?"
"I dunno... Maybe after my next shift. I'll find an occasion!"
"You are hopeless! You know that?"
Those mundane conversations were something I was incapable of. What they were saying was inconsequential and purposeless; the poor girl didn't need a reason to get a new dress if she had the money and liked it. The other girl should have minded her own business. Yet, I saw this all the time... Friends were teasing each other to have fun, and I was unable to do the same with the people I knew.
This is part of why I liked going to the animal café so much. I didn't need to use speech all that much to communicate, and it took a lot of pressure off my shoulders. I understood the pet girls well even if they were mute, so it gave me a break from real life. Practicing my communication skills was not imposed on me if I didn't feel like it.
I kept listening to what they were talking about, admitting to myself that I envied them for being able to discuss in such a friendly manner. It looked like a third girl was about to join them.
"Heeey! Over here! We're here!"
"There you are, guys... Well hidden. I couldn't find you."
"It's quieter here... Give me my food!"
"Hey, calm down, let me sit first... So, here's your pad thai, and you, I got your teriyaki chicken."
"Thanks! What are you having?"
"I got vegetarian egg rolls."
"Aaah! Gross! How can you live without meat!?"
That last bit of conversation almost made me chuckle. It immediately reminded me of my little pet sitting adventure the other day, when I had to feed Trixie with Meeka's vegetarian food. It didn't agree with her too much. I didn't mind it personally, but some people just needed their meat.
I guess the latex animals were not that much different than regular people after all. They all have different personalities, different tastes, and different ways to cuddle. The pets were just much cuter and didn't talk nearly as much.
Their little chit-chat continued.
"So, when do you go back to work?"
"Tomorrow... I'm doing four days in a row this time. And you guys?"
"Tomorrow as well for five days."
"In two days for me... I don't remember for how long, though."
"But hey, Meeka, too bad you missed last Monday. Lucy took a day off, and Clara got to pet sit us! It was sooo much fun!"
"No way! Lucy let Clara take care of you all?"
I sprayed my smoothie all over my table when I heard what I just heard and started trembling like a leaf. As the white liquid was dripping down my chin under everybody's stares, behind me were three of the pet girls that I cuddled and had sex with. But they were ordinary people. I couldn't see them, but just hearing their voice sent me to a terrible place. What if they recognized me? What if they talked to me?
"Hey, you okay there?"
"..."
A voice... perhaps Meeka's voice... paralyzed me further...
"Hey? You good?"
"... Y— Yes... Thank... you!"
Turning around to look at them was not an option. I grabbed my napkins and started wiping my chin and table clean as people resumed their normal activities, including the three pet girls behind who lowered their voice for a moment. They were possibly scared by the freak who had spat her smoothie everywhere like a child.
My visits to the animal café during the past little while were such a life changer. That place became the most important thing in my entire existence. The pets were now my friends, and they helped me grow so much through understanding and enjoyable experiences. I didn't want to change anything for now. I wanted things to continue the way they were. Why did my destiny bring those three girls to me, here at the mall? What were the odds? Why? I didn't want to change... I didn't want to see them as human... not yet.
As my eyes welled up with tears, the three civilian pet girls behind me resumed their loud chat, having fun as if nothing had happened.
"Ah, anyway! What are we doing this afternoon?"
"MOVIES!"
"Asha... can't we do something else for once?"
"No!"
"And you, Misti? Movies too, I guess!"
"Yes! Yes!"
