Adam and Emily had both enjoyed unencumbered sex while in college. Neither one felt that their newest sexual partners were in any way the start of long-lasting relationships. That is not to say that either was distant from their campus friends with benefits. Once each of them had ventured out from their otherwise exclusive relationship, they were completely into the relaxed morality that pervades college campuses. Certainly not just college campuses. Unscripted sex has always been rampant in society. It was a wonder that married couples did stay married with all the temptation available.
Some statistics indicate that men are slightly more likely to cheat. However, the trend is for women to narrow the gap as more facts are available. It is hard to get an accurate figure for obvious reasons. One study concluded that 30 to 60 percent of marriages have one or both spouses cheating. Furthermore, in that study 69 percent of the marriages break up after an affair is discovered. This is most likely centered around more conservative couples. Adam and Emily, while not actually married, were flirting with slim odds that they would eventually form a family with each other. But it was not out of the question. They had both been virgins when they had intercourse for the first time. That would tend to trend the odds more in their favor. Likewise, everybody is a virgin at one time. Another study concluded that only 5 percent of married couples were virgins when they first married.
Adam and Emily were in the overwhelming normal category. With both pursuing advanced degrees, they were likely to find other partners as opposed to coming back together. In this case, however, the unlikely did happen. When both had finished their first degree, they took jobs in the same city. Adam was pursuing a master's degree in engineering. His entry level job was certainly demanding and night school was difficult enough without having a full-time job. Luckily, his firm was very encouraging to the young engineers and didn't have him doing 'busy work' while he was pursuing his masters and a P.E. certificate.
They didn't live together at that time but did get engaged when Adam was in his last year of advanced studies. Adam for his part was exclusive in the relationship and he assumed that Emily was also. While living in the same city, they were still about forty miles apart. Sex was great for Adam. He suffered some from the realization that some girls in college did not enjoy their sexual relationships with him. One had even complemented him on his oral skills while indicating that his penis was undersized. Still, Emily seemed satisfied with his cock. Emily, on the other hand had experienced plenty of larger cocks than Adam had. Without wanting to appear racist, she believed in the myth about black cocks being larger. To her it was not any myth. She had a few black lovers who were maybe average in size but mostly the black men she had fucked were long and thick.
She still talked to Joni regularly and Joni was wondering how she was making out with Adam after having well-endowed lovers in college. She had shared with Joni that most of her sexual partners in college were quite a bit larger than Adam.
As they got closer to the wedding, Adam began feeling compelled to tell Emily that he had not been faithful to her while he was an undergraduate. He hesitated as long as he could until one night after sex, he began to talk to her about their early sexual encounters. It took a while of guiding the conversation to the fact that he was going to tell her. He didn't want the marriage to start off with any secrets between them.
"Emily," he said, "I need to admit something to you."
Emily was afraid that this might open up a subject that she would rather not explore.
"Okay, what?" she asked.
"While I was in college, uh, I, uh, well, I had sex with a girl."
Emily waited until the silence was too uncomfortable.
"Just one, Adam? Did you fall in love?"
"No, Emily. It was mostly peer pressure. I, uh, I didn't feel comfortable around some of my friends when they talked about their sexual exploits. I, uh, well, I didn't want them to think I was gay. I just had a few short flings. Honey, it meant nothing. I love you."
Emily had to think fast. Should she admit to the same infractions or try to bluff her way into giving him the third degree? It was a slippery slope if she admitted that she had had some affairs. In fact, she had just asked Adam if he had had more than one sexual affair. Undoubtedly, if she confessed, he would eventually get around to questioning her also.
"Are you still involved with any of the girls, Adam?"
"Heck no, Emily. To tell the truth, it was hard for me at first to even think about, uh, you know, doing it with another girl. I even began questioning my own sexuality. I felt so guilty afterward. I still do. I didn't want to hurt you and I have such guilt about it. I didn't want to start our marriage with that between us. I understand if you want to break the engagement."
"Let me think about this, Adam. I need to go back to my apartment now and think about what you just said. I will talk to you later."
With that she got dressed and slowly drove to her place. Now she knew that she could not let Adam bear the guilt alone. She loved him. She loved her sex life but she knew that long term, she would have to choose between a loving marriage and the excitement of the opportunity to experience bigger cocks. She had progressed to the point that when the urges got too strong, she intentionally sought out black men hoping to find a lover well endowed. If she confessed to Adam, she would also have to forego her trysts with other men. She didn't want to turn into a forty-year-old spinster after the glow of unattached sex wore off.
What to do? She waited a couple of days before she talked to Adam. They agreed to meet at her apartment. She had to be accepting but not to the point that he would transfer the guilt to her when she admitted her infidelity also.
When Adam knocked on her door, she eagerly welcomed him in and kissed him firmly, but not necessarily passionately.
"Adam, I have thought about what you told me and I want you to know that I also had sex while we were apart for so long. I couldn't let you have the guilty feeling by yourself. Like you, I resisted for a long time. I went on some casual dates without any sex. I was so horny for you and getting myself off was not doing it for me. My roommates were very active sexually and I succumbed to the feelings and the distance between us. I am sorry."
Adam now had more questions but had to be careful how to ask them.
"Were you like in a relationship with a guy or was it a one-time thing."
"No. It was just sex. Much like you described yourself."
"More than once with a guy?"
"Yes, but not a regular thing. I tried to resist getting in too deep. That is one reason why I would not let it become too intimate. Well, I guess sex is intimate, but, you know what I mean, it is not like I fell in love. The sex was gratifying but the guilt was always there. I love only you, Adam."
Now it was out in the open. The air had been cleared. All that was left was for Adam to wonder about how many guys she had fucked. He especially worried about whether the guys had larger cocks than he. He tried to put these thoughts out of his mind but he kept coming back to them. He couldn't ask Emily. Could he? Maybe she had just found an average guy or even guys. She, after all, was in love with him. She said so. He was certainly gratified with the girls that he had sex with. It did bother him that one of the girls had alluded to his 'lack of size'. He tried to put his self-deprecating doubts out of his consciousness. Mostly he did. Sex with Emily was regular and she didn't seem to be dissatisfied with his cock.
While in college, Adam had viewed some porn on the internet. His friends and roommates all did so. He used it to masturbate when he was so horny. When he started having sex while there, his viewing habits were less. He rationalized that it was better to get his rocks off the traditional way rather than becoming a porn addict. He viewed most mainstream varieties and occasionally the interracial aspect was in some of the videos he watched. Of course, all porn actors had extremely large cocks but Adam reconciled his thoughts rightly assuming that if a guy wasn't well-endowed, he wouldn't be in a porn video anyway. Subconsciously however, he did feel inferior and wished his cock was bigger. Emily vowed to stop having sex with others even though she really loved being fucked by big cocks. Especially big black cocks.
The wedding was a big lavish event. Family and friends all attended and had a great time at the reception. They honeymooned in Hawaii and had sex almost every day. They looked forward to a happy and fulfilling life. When they got back, they moved everything to Adam's apartment and settled down to newlywed sex and their jobs.
Fast forward two years....
Sex was getting very routine. The frequency had dwindled after the first year. Well, about six months actually. Emily was happy but she began longing for the deep vaginal orgasms that she had been used to. Adam was happy also but he began watching some porn when he had some quiet moments in his home office. They bought a house and settled in quickly. Friends and neighbors visited and wished them well. The house projects took up some time for about two months. Adam added some shelving and pegboard in the garage. Emily tweaked her initial decorating ideas. They added some furniture over time. Adam had a real dedicated office space so he could work at home some. Often, after Emily had retired earlier, he would watch some porn before he got ready for bed. Sometimes, he would be so worked up, he would nudge Emily, hoping she was in the mood. She usually was.
They talked about everything together and sometimes recounted their early dating years. Emily liked to tease Adam about how they progressed before they actually had intercourse. She was fond of describing how they got each other off while avoiding actual penetration. Openly talking about sex was indeed an aphrodisiac and they would often end up in bed after remembering the new and exciting things they shared back then.
Adam had always been curious about Emily's sexual history in college and one night while she was reading in bed, he made the mistake of asking her just how many guys she had fucked.
"Really, Adam?" she blurted out. "How about you? You want to tell me how many girls you fucked while in college?"
"There is not that much to tell, Emily. It was two or three and it never went past once or twice."
