I look around the beach, my heart hammering like crazy. I don't know if I can really go through with this!
It has been a hot though not particularly sunny day in Bali. Actually, it is late in the afternoon and the sun is going to set in the next hour or so. If I don't do this now, I shall never get another chance, as I shall be flying back to Hong Kong tomorrow. As usual, I hesitated far too long.
The scorching heat coupled with the tangy sea breeze is making me drowsy. I take another furtive glance around but nobody seems to pay me attention.
"Do it, you coward!" A voice screams inside my head.
Timidly, I retract an elbow through the armhole then the other. With a deep breath, I wriggle the tank top awkwardly over my head, baring my milky-white breasts to the whole world for a first time!
What brought me here, you may wonder? To start off with, I broke up with my boyfriend two weeks ago after catching him in bed with Fanny - my workmate and best friend at the travel agency I work with. Then I thought I needed some time by myself and booked a flight and a five-night stay at a hotel here.
The first night I arrived, I promised myself that I was going to have a good time. So I wandered into a street bar. After drinking a couple bottles of Bintang on my own, a tall and very dishy Australian guy, in his early 30s, came and tried to chat me up. I just freaked out and flee to my hotel, as I was so scared of what I might be getting myself into. For one, I had never dated another man before. With my ex-boyfriend, it was love at first sight, or so I thought, and he had me literally. Shit, I was still thinking of him, even here, alone in my hotel room. Oh, sod it... sod him, Bastard!
The next morning, I donned my boring one-piece Arena swimsuit and headed for the beach. The tropical sun was burning fiercely. I squinted my eyes and was surprised to see quite a few girls were baring their top. I gave each of them a good looking over. They were of different ages, shapes and sizes but no Chinese. I thought to myself if they could do it then why couldn't I, knowing that I have a younger and firmer body than those with drooping flaps, otherwise I am curvier compared with those rather plain girls, all of whom strutting out there in just their bikini bottoms.
So I decided that I was going to try topless bathing, if only for once before I flew home. What's the big deal, you may wonder? Well, for me it is! Back home, I wouldn't even dare to wear a bikini on the beach.
Then each morning, I put on the swimsuit, a tank top, a pair of towelling hot pants and headed for the beach on my flip-flops; sitting on the sand, waiting for the right moment when there were fewer people around, to slip off the shoulder straps, roll down my swimsuit to waist for a quick dip and then to run like hell back to the hotel, just to say that "I've done it!" Well, that moment never came.
I waited and waited. In the second afternoon, just to find something to do, I had my hair braided in tassels with colourful beads at a beach stall. The girl pulled the hair so taut my scalp hurt like hell, and which almost beat some sense into me to quit trying anything silly. However, when I looked at my new hair-do in the mirror that night, I was so chuffed with what I saw that I immediately went to the beauty saloon in the hotel and had my finger and toe nails varnished in the colours of Smarties to match with the beads.
Anyway, soon I learnt that there would never be a quiet moment on the beach. It was then I tried persuading myself, "What's the point of doing it if no body sees you?" But every time just when I thought I had summoned enough courage to peel down my top, I was seized by a sudden apprehension, "What if I run into familiar faces?" Then it was another day wasted. However, each night when I arrived back at the sanctuary in my hotel room and stripped, I couldn't help admiring my curvy 33B-22-34 figure that I am so very proud of.
This morning, I did something daring. In a last kamikaze attempt, I left my swimsuit behind and went topless underneath a loose tank top, ever so self-conscious of the jiggling of my breasts as I timidly hurried through the busy hotel lobby. And so, here I am. I've finally done it, well almost!
Now, sitting ill at ease with my knees drawn up to my chin, my arms bracing myself and trying desperately to hide my naked breasts, I look around me sheepishly. Immediately, I notice that a few guys are checking me out. I take a sneak peek down the chest and find to my embarrassment that my pastel pink nipples are protruding rather lewdly on my firm though modest-sized breasts. Then I notice a fluttering at the side of the ribcage and realise that my heart has all along been galloping at a maddening pace.
"Put your top back on and stop this silliness at once!" A solemn voice demands inside my head and I should have listened to it.
"Don't give it up now, you are just one step away!" Yet, another quiet voice keeps pleading from deep in my heart.
So what is it going to be, returning home and be a coward and a loser, or finishing off what I've come here to do? I struggle with the alternatives; my head is going crazy.
Then I seem to a decision. With a shrug of the shoulders, I lower my arms to unveil my perky breasts. Out of the corner of my eyes, I see heads are turning. Oh God, people are staring at them! My body is suddenly shaking like a leaf and my heart is pounding wildly. After just brief moments, a small group of men begins to loiter round me, ogling unashamedly at my naked breasts, sending a weird tingling through my puckered nipples; my cheeks and my upper torso become flushed with embarrassment.
What now? Finally, I make up my mind.
Biting hard on my lower lip, I raise myself on my knees, slip my fingers under the waistband of my hot pants and give it a push. When I get up and kick it away, I find myself standing in a sea of wanton males, in a skimpy pair of pink cotton knickers. Suddenly, everybody around seem to have stood very still and with lustful eyes are blatantly caressing over every square inch of my 24-year-old body. There is a sudden flutter of butterflies in my tummy and my chin is quivering visibly.
"Don't chicken out now and please, don't make a fool of yourself!" I will myself forward.
Wobbly, my left leg takes a step towards the sea then my right. The hot sand is burning under my soles, hurrying me on. Then I find myself taking bald strides on the balls of my feet, unwittingly adding a couple more inches to the already long slim calves of my 5'5" frame. Not bad for a Chinese girl, I keep reassuring myself.
There are still a good 60 yards to the sea. I march forward as calmly as I can manage under the circumstance for a dozen more paces, feeling the gentle swaying of my up thrust breasts, wearing a smile of false confidence, yet at the same time enjoying the warm sun and men's hot stare on my pink flushed bosom. More heads are turning now.
Suddenly, people are pointing cameras at me and my resolve crumbles. I raise my palms halfway, thinking of shielding my breasts and making a dash for my tank top and I almost did. Instead, I break into a sprint for the sea, instantly feeling the bouncing weight of my naked breasts and the rippling of muscles over my butt; my heart is knocking crazily inside my chest, my face is burning with embarrassment; colourful beads on my tasselled hair are flying and beating painfully on my cheeks. I can hardly breathe and my head is spinning round and round.
As if by a miracle, I make it to the water! And when it reaches about mid-thigh, I can wait no longer and dive into the surf, swimming out hard for about 20 yards. The piercing cold water sends a shock through my system but I have never felt so exhilarated before in my life.
"I've done it, I've done it... Oh, I Love It!" I hear myself laughing and yelling.
I look back to the beach to see my admirers are lining up at the edge of the wet sand, straining their eyes to see more of me. Well, can't disappoint them now, can I? I flip over to swim on my back, knowing that under the lowering sun my hardened nipples are going to glisten like pink beacons every time they break surface. I hope the crowd enjoy the show while it lasts. After a few more minutes of shameless display of vanity, I flip over again and swim out to the sea to enjoy my new found freedom, sensing the caresses of seams of warm and cold currents on my naked breasts, forgetting about everything else.
By the time I swim back, dusk has completely set in and the beach is mostly deserted. I retrieve my gears and head for the unattended shower stands. Under the dim light of a tall lamp, I rinse sand from my body and begin to dry myself with the small towel I took from my hotel room.
I notice a gang of locals are sauntering my direction. That should sound a warning bell but it does not. At a distance, the bar down the far end of the beach is jam-packed with holidaymakers. I can hear the laughter and the occasional clinking of the glasses. About a quarter of a mile or so further down, I can see the specks of lights from my hotel. What can this gang do to me? I am still in a state of euphoria, from flashing my breasts just a while back. Now, I have a strange urge to do it again, slowly this time, to tease and prove to myself that all men find me sexy and desirable.
They stop at some twenty paces from where I'm drying myself and begin murmuring to one another. There must be over a dozen of them, all male, from their teens to probably 40s. My body is already tingling all over with anticipation. I take a deep breath to calm the nerves and begin my wicked show - drying my breasts slowly and very tenderly with the towel, my nipples erect rather obscenely before my audience. Raising a breast, I pat lightly under it, letting it bounce back then repeat with the other one to show these men just how supple my twin mounds are.
They are moving closer again, stopping just 10 paces from where I am and are sniggering with each other in a dialect that I do not understand. My breath is getting heavier, almost panting now. I slide the towel down to dry my flat tummy, suddenly realising that my panties has become completely transparent when wet, leaving the small pubic patch inside, that I painstakingly waxed just before I left home, clearly visible. Oh god, I am showing more than I am prepared to! What I also realise is that my pussy is now throbbing in spasm and is soaking wet from the excitement of standing virtually naked in front of these men.
Well, I don't know what has gotten into me. Perhaps, something just snaps inside my head; my modesty has completely deserted me. Acting nonchalant, I sling the towel over a shoulder; hook my thumbs under the sides of my soaking wet knickers, quickly slipping it all the way down, then stepping out of it and leaving it on the tiled floor. My heart is now pumping so fast I have a feeling that I'm going to be sick. For here I am stark naked flaunting my body in front of a crowd of total strangers.
There is no turning back now. Anyway, after tomorrow, I shall never see any of them again and nobody will ever find out. A strange calmness descends over me. With a mischievous grin, I look them one by one in the eyes; enjoying the effect my body is having on these hot-blooded Indonesian natives. Without even thinking, I spread my feet to about shoulder-width, raise my arms, thrusting my breasts out proudly and begin to blot-dry my tasselled hair, giving my audiences ample opportunity to take in every curves, every little details of my lithe yet muscle-toned body. I just hope that they do not notice I am in fact shivering all over.
