I'm late for work. I trot into the office just as the morning stand-up meeting is about to start and I have to squeeze in between people, which brings me to their attention. There are looks, and I try to ignore them, waiting patiently for my turn to give my update. They're staring at me because I'm in a dress and stockings instead of jeans and a top as usual. As I talk, I'm trying very hard not to blush, but then I remember what I'm wearing underneath and I feel the heat begin to rise in my cheeks because I'm standing in the middle of a ring of my coworkers dressed in my only set of sexy lingerie concealed beneath my dress, in heels that sculpt my calves in a way I'd never been aware of up until now.
Like when he had told me to strip and send me a picture of myself, I'm on display again. I stumble to the end of my update and fall silent, waiting for the ground to swallow me up. People are staring still, as if somehow they can see through the dress. As if they can see the lacy basque I'm wearing and the little g-string, the straps clipped to the tops of my sheer stockings. It's like that recurring anxiety dream where I turn up to work only in my underwear, but for real. They can see that I'm a lingerie-clad bimbo slut and that I'm sopping wet between my legs having to stand there in front of them all.
The person next to me gives his update and all eyes flick to him. I blink furiously, trying to calm myself, but my mouth is dry and my pussy is wet and I need to escape. This was such a bad idea. How did I ever decide to go along with this ridiculous idea? How did I let him talk me into this?
But the answer is simple. The more of this I do, the more I agree to, the longer we go on with him putting me on display like this, the longer I delay the moment when he'll publish the picture I sent him of me, full-frontal, in the basement carpark. He's forcing me to humiliate myself in public. I have to do what he says otherwise he'll publish and then everyone will know what a slut I am.
I have to focus. I need to get him and what he's doing to me out of my head. I need to put the aching heat in my crotch out of my mind. I'm wearing a dress to work. That's all they can see. They're just curious that I've decided to wear a dress. I'm making this into so more than it is.
I get to my desk and open up my laptop. There are things I need to do but, as I shift on my chair, I can feel the straps tugging down the back of my basque as I sit on them. I cross my legs and feel the silky friction of the stockings sheathing my skin. It's like I'm dialed all the way up to ten, hypersensitive. I need to concentrate. I need to get work done.
There's a ping from my phone and my heart skips. Somehow he's been able to recruit my phone into the task of victimising me. Its screen flashes up a message and demands that I obey. Reluctantly, I tap the message and read.
It's from him: a discount code and a website link. It doesn't make any sense. I tap the link and the screen displays text. It's a story. He's sent me a short story to read, in the middle of the morning, when he knows I'm at work. I put the phone to one side, but as the minutes pass, I can feel it sitting there, insistent. I need to get on with the project update, but I can't. My concentration is shot.
I give in and pick up the phone. I read the story. I really shouldn't have done that, but I only realise that afterwards.
The story is about a new female CEO of a biotech company. They're developing a new drug. The premise is flimsy, but I suspend criticism and read it. The chief scientist is disgruntled, on the outer now that the new CEO is in place, but he has a plan. He starts to trial the new drug on her, slipping it into her coffee. She begins to react, in subtle ways at first, but then more and more she finds herself unable to handle meetings. She begins to crave sex, she discovers a liking for shorter skirts. As the story progresses, so does she, until she's booking in salon treatments to prettify herself, gym sessions to tone her body. Her work deteriorates, but he is there to help her, guide her, get her coffee. The drug is steadily turning her into a mindless bimbo, while he takes more control of the company. It ends with her delegating everything to him, content to kneel in her lingerie between his legs under the desk that she used to sit at, giving him a slow, sensual blowjob while he works.
I know why I'm reading the story. My mysterious correspondent is playing with my head. He knows that I'll read it at my desk in my lingerie and that all day I'm going to be thinking of the female character's descent from CEO to brainless bimbo. The story is stupid, a male-orientated fantasy, but I can't shake the feeling it has engendered in me. She was so happy on her knees, so content to be a mindless slut giving service. I wonder what it would feel like to be reduced to that.
The discount code had nothing to do with the story. It's for a different site. I go to it and am greeted with a pop-up on my phone that asks me to confirm that I'm over eighteen years old. What?
I click 'yes' and am taken to the homepage, and it's like I've been physically slapped. She's there, the woman with the radiant sunburst headpiece, but in a different pose, still naked but covering herself up. There is a membership login. It takes me a few seconds to understand what I'm looking at.
He has his own site. There's a paywall, but behind it is access to the member zone with galleries of the photos he's taken. I hesitate, hating myself as I tap the link to join. This is what the discount code is for, to give me a free membership. I register and find myself confronted with several of the pictures I've seen on the forums, but these are now teasers for galleries of each woman. There is so much more than he ever put on the forums. There is a link that simply says 'new' and my blood runs cold.
My finger is shaking as I tap the link and when I see myself I catch my breath. It's the picture he sent me, the one he'd worked up from my first photo in the carpark. He's cropped it more closely, cutting off my legs below the knees and the top half of my face, but I'm confronted with my breasts and my crotch on full display on his private membership site. I'm gaping, and then my phone pings in my hand so unexpectedly that I almost drop it onto my desk. I tap the message.
- What do you think?
My mind blanks for a split-second until I understand. He's seen my registration. He's been waiting.
- That's me
It's such a stupid thing to say. It's all I can think of.
- Do you like it? I'm quite pleased with the shadowing. I had to mess with the light balance, but I think it works
- Okay
I'm cradling my phone, waiting for him to say the words I'm dreading, but he doesn't. There are no pulsing dots. He's online but he isn't typing a reply. He's waiting for me.
- You've put me on a porn site
- I've put you on a private gallery site
- I'm naked. The other women are naked. It's a porn site
I feel the flush in my cheeks and my brain finally starts to kick into gear.
- You're making me send pictures to you and then you're putting them up on a porn site to earn you money. What the fuck?
- How does it make you feel, seeing yourself?
- How do you think I feel? I'm fucking angry
I'm clicking through the site. The woman is there, hers is the first gallery because it's the oldest. I click into it and see dozens of pictures of her, including the one that started it all for me, but there are others afterwards. I can see the dates: she was his first victim, years ago now, and she's still sending him material. Her last picture is dated from yesterday. My lips curl.
- You can't fucking do this. That woman, she's a mother. You said that the full frontal is the end of the journey, but it's not. She's still being forced to give you pictures. You fucking prick. She's a wife and a mother and you're exploiting her to make a buck
- I know
- Don't you think that's wrong?
- She hasn't complained
I gasp, incensed. I need to keep quiet because otherwise someone is going to ask me why I'm so upset. I desperately try to keep control.
- She can't. You're blackmailing her. She's fucking helpless to do anything about it. I bet you've threatened to send all her pictures to her husband
- It's her choice to be on the site. She could take her photos down at any time
- That's bullshit. How?
- She runs the site
- What?
- She's my wife