Friday Night with Lily and Michelle and Jason and TJ
"OK, but how do you know if, like, what you feel is the same way someone else feels?" Lily said, exhaling a huge cloud of pot smoke. "Like, I'm stoned. You're stoned. But is it the same kind of feeling?"
"I mean, I can tell you what it feels like to me," I replied. "Weird tension around my head. Vague dizziness. Dry mouth. Half the time stuff seems hilarious, but also I have a sudden urge to really examine the stereotype of college freshmen smoking weed and talking about big ideas."
"Right?" added Michelle. "Like have you ever really looked at your hands or the stars and wondered about the universe, maaaaan?"
TJ came in with the catchphrase "There's a time and a place for everything, maaaaan, and that's college...." and we all laughed helplessly. "Pretty sure we're all stoned the same way," he said, setting off another round of laughter.
"But seriously, there's some stuff I think I'll never experience," he added, the room going quiet. "Like, girls all go to the bathroom together. Dudes can't do that. Or don't. Like, that kind of casual intimacy among women isn't an experience I'll ever have."
"Or multiple orgasms," said Lily.
"Definitely a point of jealousy for me. Obviously tons of advantages to being a dude but... multiple orgasms!"
"I've, uh, never even had one," said Michelle.
"Really?" Lily asked, incredulous.
"Boys have it so easy. I mean, the penis is right there demanding attention. Girls have to, like, read an instruction manual. I didn't even know girls could jerk off until I saw American Pie and even then, like, I thought it was just the kooky Alyson Hannigan ones. And I guess, you know, I felt like you were supposed to do sex stuff with someone else, but it's not like my high school boyfriend was any good at fingering me."
"Wow, I have never disagreed with someone so much!" Lily replied. "First, I think you have to know what you like to tell a partner how to do it! But also, I feel like I've always known how to touch myself. Like, when I was really little my mom had to teach me about the importance of private time so I wouldn't be humping the arm of the couch while company was over."
TJ said "Ugh. I grew up Catholic, my first memory of sex or sexuality was being told not to do it. But I think Michelle's got a point about it being less of a thing for girls, because I remember my parents telling me and my brother touching ourselves was a sin, but I don't think they ever warned our sister about it! What about you, Jason?"
"I don't remember being taught about it either way. I think I must have been embarrassed about it because I didn't tell anyone else about it. Or maybe it was just the private-parts-are-private lessons? And of course everyone joked about how gross jerking off was when I was in middle school, but to me it felt like it was this amazing secret I'd discovered just for myself. I'd make up all these like games or challenges."
"Games?"
"Like, max number of times I could come in a day, or how fast could I come, or how close I could get without coming, or could I come just touching myself with one finger. I read somewhere about someone who said they could orgasm just by thinking hard and flexing, and I'd try to do that, but I never managed that."
"Man, I just tried not to do it for as long as I could, and then I'd finally break down and rub one out and feel guilty and have to confess. At least our priest wasn't a creep about it. He said it was a common sin and working on it was a good way to build character, which is... OK I guess. But it was still something I felt bad about every time. Even after I came out as bi and gave up on church entirely, I just... I guess I still feel like everything around sex, and especially masturbation, is somehow inappropriate."
"We're eighteen. Jerking off is the most appropriate" said Lily.
TJ laughed and said "There's a time and a place for everything...."
"...And it's whenever your roommate is in the shower" finished Lily.
Michelle looked over and said "wait, how often do you do it?"
"At least twice a day," Lily said. "Why wouldn't I? What about you all?"
"Not that often," said TJ. "It's not that I still think it's a sin or anything, but it's hard to focus on it if you think your roommate might come back at any moment, and I just feel sort of nervous and awkward about it."
"Oh, I'm with Lily on that." I said. "As often as possible. Like I wanna be an evangelist for self-love."
Lily lit another joint. "So we're all stoned the same way, but a lot of our other lived experiences are completely different. Not just different for men and women, but from each other." She inhaled and looked around. "You ever wish you could swap bodies with someone? Not just 'walk a mile in their shoes' but really live their subjective experience?"
"I mean, that'd be cool. Pretty sure there's a whole genre of porn about it," TJ said.
"I don't just mean the sex stuff! Like, aside from sex, what would you do if you were me for a week?"
"I guess I'd like having more freedom around clothes and style. Like I could put on makeup or not, or wear a skirt or pants or heels or boots."
